Why are some guys like me much more prone to binging?

It's a kind of grey area and I would suggest not to do it anymore, if you absolutely had to then it is better than watching hardcore porn.

Naturally, the more videos you look at the more your dopamine levels escalate, your instincts are to click on more and more videos with no end. Whereas when you masturbate to simple fantasy there is a limit to it.

 

There is no such thing as "realistic fantasy". All fantasy is just fantasy and porn is fantasy also.

You're simply watching porn in your head. I used to do that too but it won't help at all, it will just hurt you. I could create better scenarios than the porn i was watching.

The only real thing is real sex. You should only be aroused when you are near an actual woman and you're about to have sex.

 

Does this strike you as healthy behavior?

 

Hi Brother, thank you for insightful response...
Could you please describe more about your list of self-improvement projects that you do?
The background/resources how you come up with that will also very helpful.

Thanks a lot

 

I was a bator for many years. Taking pride in my PMO and really getting into my penis. I would masturbate multiple times a day when I was off and on my work days I would edge for 3 to 4 hours at a time. It was these long edging sessions that would make me feel crazy all day long. The quick sessions I didn't feel much but the long sessions I was just feeling like I was losing my mind all day. It would take HOURS for me to recover.

That was really what lead me to believe that what I was doing wasn't right. Lead me here and even though I'm new, I feel like I found a place where I can be comfortable with stopping my addiction. I have felt more in control of my myself and my life than ever before.

Just keep your support system in place and try to actively be present when the urges start. Really ask yourself and look at what you are doing. It's hard to be objective in that moment but just trying to be can give you the upper hand against the urges.

 

Hi buddy, sure. Of course everyone's interests will be different, but as for my personal example, after much reflection, I boiled down mine into three basic areas:

1.) learning & problem-solving
2.) creative expression
3.) spiritual development

So my 'projects' are activities that fall into those subjects, including:

1.) amateur astronomy (just using a basic telescope), studying math/programming lectures (tons available on youtube), learning Japanese, attempting to read the top 100 rated sci-fi books from this list, getting good at problem-solving challenges like crossword puzzles (especially the NYT Sunday puzzle) or strategy games like Civilization 5

2.) playing guitar, learning to cook, photography, writing (when I'm restless sometimes I post anonymously on this reddit sub)

3.) I have personally gravitated towards Buddhism, so I've read books on the subject, and listened to online podcasts, and started meditating daily. I plan to do a 'retreat' at some point.

So how did I find these? I tried reading some "self-help" books but a lot of them are unnecessarily wordy I feel. So I just checked around online and found some ideas. A good one was these 15 questions, from this blog post. Perhaps you can try it yourself. Just get out a notepad and write down some of your answers, doesn't take long and you may find some useful things out that may lead you down interesting and fulfilling paths.

1. What makes you smile? (Activities, people, events, hobbies, projects, etc.)
2. What are your favorite things to do in the past? What about now?
3. What activities make you lose track of time?
4. What makes you feel great about yourself?
5. Who inspires you most? (Anyone you know or do not know. Family, friends, authors, artists, leaders, etc.) Which qualities inspire you, in each person?
6. What are you naturally good at? (Skills, abilities, gifts etc.)
7. What do people typically ask you for help in?
8. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
9. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?
10. You are now 90 years old, sitting on a rocking chair outside your porch; you can feel the spring breeze gently brushing against your face. You are blissful and happy, and are pleased with the wonderful life you’ve been blessed with. Looking back at your life and all that you’ve achieved and acquired, all the relationships you’ve developed; what matters to you most? List them out.
11. What are your deepest values?
Select 3 to 6 words and prioritize the words in order of importance to you.
12. What were some challenges, difficulties and hardships you’ve overcome or are in the process of overcoming? How did you do it?
13. What causes do you strongly believe in? Connect with?
14. If you could get a message across to a large group of people. Who would those people be? What would your message be?
15. Given your talents, passions and values. How could you use these resources to serve, to help, to contribute? ( to people, beings, causes, organization, environment, planet, etc.)

Hope this helps!

 

Oh my God...this is very helpful!!
Enough to keep me busy on this lifetime, thank you very much!

By the way bro, how you manage your time schedule for all of those activities?
I found so many things to do but so little time and not much progress

Would love to hear your insight about this.

 

Hey man, no worries. Here's my trick - while I do try to progress over time, I also don't take any of it too seriously. I take my time and just dive into whatever I'm interested in for that moment, without worrying where it's leading.

What's important is the process itself, feeling that you're doing something that you're connected to in some way, and that brings something positive into your daily life. Even if it's just for a few minutes here or there, that's ok.