3 MONTH CHALLENGE!!! - wanna join me?? :)

Hi,

WHO AM I?

I'm new to the site. I'm a Christian woman in her early thirties. I have my own successful business and I am single.

MY PROBLEM :s

I'm concerned not by the frequency of my masturbation but by the fact that I DONT SEEM TO BE IN CONTROL of my urges. I mean even though I don't want to do it or even though I know I will feel bad afterwards I still do it and I don't quite understand why. (Romans 7:15-20) I get that I masturbate more when I'm LONELY and STRESSED out so I just need to focus on finding DIFFERENT COPING STRATEGIES because I can't avoid stress and until my Prince Charming comes along I guess I'm alone.

WHY 3 MONTHS? GOAL DATE: 21st June 2015

I can give up masturbating if I have a goal or I'm busy concentrating on something else. My plan is to start with 3 months and see how I go and at the end of 3 months set a new goal of a longer or shorter duration depending on how well I've done. I've choosen this length of time because I've done the "SETTING THE CAPTIVES FREE" free online course and been MASTURBATION FREE for over 3 months but when I stopped the course I fell back into bad habits.

GAME PLAN!!

My plan is to start CONCENTRATING ON GOD through daily prayer and Bible study (Matthew 6:33), start to have more CONTROL of MY MIND through MEDITATION, EXERCISE to release tension, be more CHARITABLE to help me see the bigger picture and with ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!! Hopefully this will help me achieve SUSTAINABLE CHANGE!

I DON'T WANT TO FEEL GUILTY OR SAD because of lapses and set backs but learn to recognise what hasn't gone well and what I can do to fix it. I want to EXPERIMENT WITH DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES and see what works for me. I would also love TO HEAR YOU REVIEW YOUR TECHNIQUES and please let me know what works and what definately should be left alone!!

EVERYONE IS WELCOME!!!

EVERYONE IS WELCOME to join this discussion whether you are MALE, FEMALE, CHRISTIAN, NON CHRISTIAN etc or what your problem is, MASTURBATION, PORN etc or when you join the discussion.

Please feel free to post POSITIVE comments below. Your well wishes, support and tips would mean a lot to me :-x

Maisie x

 

Thanks for your support guys

Hi everybody!

SHOUT OUTS!!

Thanks to Array and John DaVon for getting back to me.

John I wish you all the best in your journey. Keep taking it one day at a time.

Array I'll definately be putting in some prep work and thanks for the helpful offer!

ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS

For those of you who want to know, an ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER is someone who helps you to overcome something usually an addiction. ( http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accountability_partner )

MY EXPERIENCE OF ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS

I was encouraged to take an accountability partner when I did the SETTING THE CAPTIVES FREE free online course. You can chose anyone but I chose a close friend who I knew I could trust.

I chose her because I knew she wasn't judgemental but even though I'm not usually UNCOMFORTABLE around her I found it VERY HARD TO BRING UP THE TOPIC of masturbation in the conversation. I had to call her a few times before I could get up the courage. It turns out SHE HAD HAD SIMILAR PROBLEMS and provided me with lots of advice. It was nice talking to a woman as she understood things from a WOMAN'S PERSPECTIVE and there was no chance that either of us would become AROUSED by each other talking about masturbation. However like I said IT CAN BE ANYONE. We chose to call each other at specified times to see how things were going and discuss ways in which improvements could be made.

It was a RELIEF talking to someone about it. Talking to someone else got rid of some of the SECRECY and HOLD that masturbation had over me.

I have told 2 other people and it showed me that MOST PEOPLE STRUGGLE with this issue at some point or another. Knowing how common it was I DIDN'T FEEL AS ASHAMED anymore.

Unfortunately we slowly stopped calling each other to discuss this.

MY DAY

Today I am preparing and gearing myself up for this 90 day stint. I'll be thinking of practical ways to stave off my urges and thinking of coping mechanisms for dealing with the impending stress that this week may bring

Tips are most welcome!?!

Maisie x

 

Dear all

For some reason my last posts weren't displayed :s not sure why here it goes again. If you have the same problem let me know and I'll flag it up to the administrators.

SHOUT OUTS

Many thanks for your replies

John I wish you all the best with your journey.

Array thanks for the kind offer.

ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNERS

Accountability partners are people that help you on your journey. They can be strangers or close friends or senior figures such as pastors.

They provide you with support by finding out how your doing and you can contact them before you relapse for strength.

You can find more info on the Wikipedia page or on the accountability partner section on the NoFap website in the forums area.

MY EXPERIENCE

I have had an accountability partner before. I was advised to confess my problem with masturbation to my nearest and dearest when I did the setting the captives free free online course. It was a relief to open up and I found that the problem is really common.

Happy no fapping!!!

Maisie x

 

Hi y'all!

Wanted to share something with you.

REALISATION

I realise that my masturbation is just a way of DISTRACTING me from the things I don't won't to do. It's like my drug of choice that GIVES ME A HIGH so I don't have to deal with the real world. I have so much crap building up that I PROCRASTINATE and distract myself from everything that needs to be done. It's difficult dealing with life but IGNORING it won't make it go away. As hard as getting my stuff sorted is and no matter how FAR BEHIND I feel I am I just have to knuckle down and do it. To be fair it's NEVER AS AWFUL AS IT SEEMS it's just an effort to motivate myself to get started and to continue to work and sort out my situations.

CONCLUSION

I think the most important thing to remember is no matter how many times you FALL DOWN that you GET BACK UP again. If you really want to be free and you KEEP TRYING no matter what, no matter how much you want to give up or think it won't work it. If you keep trying eventually YOU WILL BE FREE!

Maisie x

 

Hi all

THANK-YOU

Thanks Whitewiz for the comments. Wishing you well on your journey.

HINTS AND TIPS

You can get a PMO tracker which charts your progress towards your goal. Type PMO tracker into google and it'll be the first result.

MY WEEK AHEAD

So today I'm praying for PRACTICAL HELP and thinking about PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS to overcome.

In my first post I talked about the things I will try and do to help me stop masturbating. This week I will be looking at how I can practically carry them out.

To refresh, the areas that I'm looking at are:
• Increasing my time with GOD
• Spending time in MEDITATION
• EXERCISE more
• Be more CHARITABLE

GOD

This week I will PRAY every MORNING and READ at least ONE BIBLE VERSE a day. It's nice to know that even if I'm weak and small I have a LARGE and POWERFUL God working for me to help me reach my goals.

MEDITATION

I will be doing a 5 minute MEDITATION every NIGHT to help me control my mind. I know it's a small amount of time but hopefully it will grow over time.

EXERCISE

I will be doing my regular once weekly PERSONAL TRAINING session and try and get 350 calories burned on the EXERCISE BIKE I bought last week. (That's 50 calories a day. Again it doesn't sound like much but I hope to build on it.)

CHARITABLE

I'm hoping to focus on ONE CHARITABLE ACT a week. For this week's kind act I went into the town centre yesterday with the sole purpose of finding homeless people to buy them a hot drink. It FELT GOOD and reminded me how small my problems are in comparison.

SIGN OFF

It's early days but feeling really good about this.

I'll let you guys know how I get on with my PRACTICAL solutions.

Maisie x

 

Hello gang!

MY FIRST WEEK

I'm feeling good because I've just had a successful 7 days.

Finding that this website is a good distraction tool and a great support network.

SHOUT OUTS

Thanks for your messages of support.

Hope you're successful dshadowknight and monkjesse

HINTS AND TIPS

I've joined some groups for extra support.

TO JOIN A GROUP

• On your main page go to the rightside of the screen
• Click on Group Tools
• Select Join Group from the drop down menu

Find all sorts of groups based on marital status, religion, geographical location etc and if you can't find one to suit you you can start your own.

SIGN OFF

Hope the coming week is as successful as the first!

Maisie x

 

Hiya

TRUTH TIME

Had a relapse Sunday. Not gonna lie got feelings looking at some of the reddit NoFap posts probably not lady friendly.

I'm upset that something that started innocently led to a relapse.

GOOD STUFF

But I'm happy that I achieved 7 days

And I'm happy that I can honestly acknowledge my down fall.

I've been a lot healthier this week what with exercising more often

Glad that I'm bouncing back with a positive attitude and that I haven't let the relapse seep into negativity in other areas of my life.

GAME PLAN

Need to reclaim my thoughts. This is a battle of the mind.

1. I know that spending too much time on the internet is a bad idea.

2. Need to stop thinking about guys (my friend is trying to set me up with someone and even innocent thoughts about him quickly descend into the sexual.) Also trying to stop fapping makes me think about sexual stuff much more. I even start to have very vivid dreams :s

3. Need to crack on with whatever I'm avoiding (have several projects that I just need to get finished but I have no motivation and fapping and fantasising gives me that distraction from the reality of life)

4. I need to focus on God more. Not been reading the Bible daily and I think that'll help.

5. Need to be careful what I watch and read etc. if you have any tips for the last one that would be most appreciated.

Thanks

SIGN OFF

Happy no fapping guys

Maisie X

 

The more the merrier Hope84!

Xx