Afraid of the unknown and something new

I'm not sure there is a simple easy solution.

What is it that you are afraid of when you think about doing these activities?

Rejection
Being judged
Disappointment
Getting hurt

The list is endless unfortunately of possibilities...

I'd suggest identifying what it is that you are afraid of. Depending on severity you might need to talk it out with someone. In any case once it's identified apply rational truth to it and find a way to move forward and when the negative talk (I'm going to get let down so I'm not doing this) comes you say (there is no reason to assume I'm going to be let down so I will try doing it).

I would encourage you to abandon porn because while you are in it, it corrupts your thinking and self image. Because of the chemical and neurological havoc occurring you will feel more anxious, uncertain and depressed, just to start. Further, it effects us in our behavior with others. We act defeated and people can sense that.

You are lonely and it can be the hardest thing in the world to quit porn when you are. It will make the loneliness worse.

Good luck!

 

The more risks you take, the more you'll fail, but also the more you'll succeed.

The less risks you take, the less you'll fail, but also the less you'll succeed.

Life is made up of both positive and negative experiences. Pain and pleasure. Problems and solutions. Avoiding risks is basically getting rid of possibilities all together.

The more you face uncertainty, the more negative and positive experiences you'll gain over time. Eventually you'll have enough positive experiences that reinforce the belief that it's worth risking the negative experiences. Which will give you more courage and confidence to face even more and even greater uncertainties.

Confidence in facing the uncertainties of life is earned. You have to start off insecure and scared until you gain enough experiences. You'll never gain that confidence or those higher quality positive experiences if you let the possibilities of negative experiences stop you from even starting this process. It's like a muscle that you have to condition. Life's risks are the resistance and your courage to face those uncertainties is the muscle.

There's no guarantees in life. You can either avoid it all together by playing life so safe that it can barely be called living... or you can condition yourself to try things that might not work.

You overcome the fear of uncertainty by facing it even if you are scared.

 

Do you play with any friends online that you play with when you play video games. Making relationships over the internet is legitmit and for me was very helpful when it came to social interaction. Not to mention having people to hang out with without having to go out can be really cool.

I think you should hit that kick boxing class or even ask if you could join in on the basketball game, you never know what they'll say. You have to keep giving yourself positive messages even if you dont believe them, they'll help. I believe you can do it if you really try and desire it

 

I can relate to you in some many levels. I'm about to turn 25 in a few days. And because of my depression and anxiety through my teenage years till to this day. I feel the same way.

It affected with me getting jobs and everything. At least you are in college, I didn't even manage to go there since I fucked up so bad in the past with stupid mistakes, I now regret.

I have friends but never told them about my darkest problems because I feel like I will be judged. I keep it to myself even my parents don't know about it.

Regarding sports, you say you love basketball and you have a court nearby home - I'd suggest you waking up super early(you need to go to bed earlier of course to get a good rest, obviously), put on some headphones listen to your favourite songs while you make some buckets. Not only you will feel inspired but it gets you going throughout the rest of you day. Also eat clean.

There was this time I tried this, I woke up so early and I was by myself just playing. Try do this for a few days, and then try to take the next step and play with some people.