30 days does it worth it ?

I will talk in brief about my journey
i started masturbating when i was 5 year old or even less
in that time i masturbated in irregular manner the main time was whenever i feel depressed even if someone just shout at me and by doing that whatever happened i did not care .
at age 10 i stated masturbating while fantasize about women but without porn (( i was not know what porn is ) for the same reasons i kept masturbating for the pleasure and relief stress ,

at age 15 i saw and ad at internet i entered porn industry and start masturbating and watching porn , after this my social life really gets worse my school grades drops but not a lot till i entered university and really it destroys me more .

in this journey i stopped porn a lot but with masturbating or i stopped masturbating while watching porn with a maximum of 60 days

then in the last year at age 22 i decided to quit a lot but the mistake was
i red a lot about sex stories to relive stress i quit for about 76 days the relapse .

The streak now which i started 3 months ago but relapses every time after 10-15 days
then the last month 30 streak without porn or masturbating or reading sex stories this time i really felt the benefit of NoFap the reason why i will keep and decided to not back and helped me is that i developed a disease called POIS ( post orgasmic illness syndrome ) this means whatever i ejaculate i feel more depressed with cough decreased immunity general fatigue severe loss of concentration for me lasts about 5 days then decrease day by day until 10 days this was happen to me in the last 8 month .

points you should now : 1- when you start NoFap and relapse for a month or more
the symptoms you will developed will be harmed than the previous one , what i mean if you stop for month and return back then you start month and back and so on for a long period of time this this will destory your brain more than continuing on your usual habbit .

**** the benefit i got is that more mentality improved focus , less fatigued , the
people more attracted to me ( mens or women ) , more active ,

those was general things the most two important things
1- more emotional i did not know why people may cry but since years i actually cried
you can feel about peoples problem more and integrate with it .
2- moooooooooooooooore time this is the dramstic every day i would spend an hour on fapping and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep moooore after stopping i sleep less about 2-3 hours and wake up more energetic .
do you know what that that mean this means you add to your life 4 hour a days appx you have much time you can study doing things you love
these things i really felt them in the last weak (( in the previous streaks even it was longer i did not felt like that may be because i edged in them alot ))
3- not rally a benefit but i discovered that my life really wants for me a movement to see what i decided when i was in porn << more anger , and more depressed because i entered the medical field (( the main thing that 1 year is left and become a doctor but i may stop this is really missed up with me and i cannot get over it but i decided to quit for one year and back to continue the last year ))

*** main things i do to not urge is not looking at women as i can in university in internet in movies in any where , try to avoid any trigger that may bring sexy woman to my vision
this helped a lot the 30 day was really easy to me and i didn't expect the benefits

****** this world i corrupted please avoid all trigger it is not healthy to see undressed woman to your health whenever you go you see corrupted girls by the media they learnt them that they should be undressed , wearing a skirt tiny cloths to make you horny
do not look at them , before 100 year it was unacceptable to see any girl wearing a skirt tiny cloths , horny cloths except for there lovers , but the time we live is really corrupted .

i know it was a long thread forgive me
i did not wrote what all i feel

 

in the last two days i think i relapsed , i i did not mastrubate or edging , but i allowed to my self to read nude stories and listening to porn (( not watching )) and because of this i saw nude women which i was far away in the last 32 days
but i will not consider it a relapse and keep counting days , and if i read or listen another time will consider it a relapse and start from zero again