NoFap

  1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

The Power of Vulnerability

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Mark, Jan 16, 2014.

  1. Jan 16, 2014 #1
    Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

    1,247
    94
    48
    "The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." ~ Brene Brown

    I've just been reading a great book called 'The Gifts of Imperfection- Let Go of Who You Think Your Supposed to Be an Embrace Who You Are' by Brene Brown which gives some really interesting insights into addiction which she covers in this talk (its 20 mins long but well worth investing some time in)...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

    I sincerely hope this helps.

    And on the subject of developing strength etc through allowing ourselves to be more natural/vulnerable please see these...

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?4778-The-Way-of-Peace-OR-The-Soft-Bulletin

    http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2655-The-Way-of-Harmony

    :)
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2014
    Mark, Jan 16, 2014
    Mark, Jan 16, 2014
    #1
  2. Jan 17, 2014 #2
    aron

    aron Fapstronaut

    261
    141
    43
    Thank you jiltedjohn. I love books on self development and the premise of this one sounds amazing. I am going to get to it asap :)

    PS: I love her voice and way of telling the story. I could listen to her all day. She's that captivating. The video was well worth the 20 minute investment :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2014
    aron, Jan 17, 2014
    aron, Jan 17, 2014
    #2
  3. Jan 17, 2014 #3
    Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

    1,247
    94
    48
    Thanks aron. I've had this book for about a year and it kind of jumped out at me from the shelf (I remember pre-amazon/internet I would buy a book and devour it several times before getting another but now I have a pile I've yet to read...and at least one or two on their way in the post right now!;)) I really like the research/work Brene Brown has done and yes she is also good to watch (she clearly practices what she preaches).I'm glad you were inspired enough to get the book, its really making me think and make some very subtle but really important adjustments etc :)
     
    Mark, Jan 17, 2014
    Mark, Jan 17, 2014
    #3
  4. Jan 17, 2014 #4
    aron

    aron Fapstronaut

    261
    141
    43
    What really got my attention was a phrase that she used during her TED video presentation. She was talking about numbing our bad emotions like shame, guilt, anger, and that one cannot do that without numbing also the positive emotions. So, to save ourselves from negative emotions we end numbing ourselves emotionally. I found the same idea in a book called "The mindfulness workbook for addiction" by Rebecca Williams and Julie Kraft (I've referenced it here before). Somehow, that struck a chord with me because I can totally relate to that, although I hadn't had the courage to admit it. I am curious to see if she has any practical knowledge on how one can lead to leave a life like she preaches. It's easy to preach that one can should live like this or like that, but the difficult part is getting there.
     
    aron, Jan 17, 2014
    aron, Jan 17, 2014
    #4
  5. Jan 17, 2014 #5
    undeath52

    undeath52 Fapstronaut

    55
    1
    8
    I heard this talk in the radio a few weeks ago.
    It blew me away.
     
    undeath52, Jan 17, 2014
    undeath52, Jan 17, 2014
    #5
  6. Jan 17, 2014 #6
    Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

    1,247
    94
    48
    Im just approaching the second half of the book which looks really good as she describes 'the things that get in our way' before a series of short chapters suggesting the things we cultivate etc (resilience, gratitude, authenticity, creativity etc etc etc) And yes mindfulness/meditation help us embrace the 'totality' of our experience which, when it comes to emotions etc, I often think of as a kind of 'internal weather', no its not always sunny and clear but if that's the only weather we will accept we miss an awful lot of life! (You don't get a rainbow without the rainfall!) Also I remember working with a couple who appeared to HATE their life because they worked (and drank!) hard to get through the 48 weeks of the year they weren't going on holiday so they could scrimp and save and go sit by a pool in some tacky 'Brits abroad' resort 4 weeks of the year getting even more pissed than they did the other 48 weeks!! The term 'get a life' doesn't even come close!!:D And honestly I'm not judging but it does illustrate how much we deny such massive and crucial parts of ourselves/exsistence through ignorance and fear etc.
     
    Mark, Jan 17, 2014
    Mark, Jan 17, 2014
    #6
  7. Jan 18, 2014 #7
    aron

    aron Fapstronaut

    261
    141
    43
    I am also just now approaching the half of the book. I had to stop yesterday after reading her definition of perfectionism. I just couldn't believe it. It was like she was writing about ME. And although it was painful to read and recognize myself in that, it was also extremely enlightening. I got so scared reading that section, that I had to put the book down and take a long walk to let it sink in. And this was after she made me cry with the story about compassion.

    Now I have reached the part where she is talking about addiction. This woman is hitting the right (or wrong) spots. I can't believe what she is saying, yet deep down it sounds so true. I am sorry, I cannot write about anything else except my amazement and pure awe. I CANNOT let this book down.
     
    aron, Jan 18, 2014
    aron, Jan 18, 2014
    #7
  8. Jan 18, 2014 #8
    Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

    1,247
    94
    48
    I know it has surprised me too! Like I said its been on the bookshelf for nearly a year and I just got this uncontrollable urge to read it! I love the way she recognised (through MUCH research) the need to fully embrace and acknowledge the things that get in our way as opposed to getting straight into the 'how too' stuff. I'm so glad it is helping, even if that means it is holding a very large and clear mirror up to us and revealing things our 'egos' would rather remain out of sight!;)
     
    Mark, Jan 18, 2014
    Mark, Jan 18, 2014
    #8
  9. Jan 18, 2014 #9
    Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

    1,247
    94
    48
    Hi mate! I missed your comment before, yes she really does now her stuff, is blowing me away too :)
     
    Mark, Jan 18, 2014
    Mark, Jan 18, 2014
    #9

Share This Page