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60 days

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Bull87, Jul 28, 2019.

  1. Bull87

    Bull87 Fapstronaut
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    I can’t believe this day 61 of my sobriety!

    This has to be the most difficult thing I have done in my life.

    My withdraw symptoms were the hardest to deal with. They were severe and had no mercy on me. I fell into a depression. I had crazy fears coming from nowhere at any time. I had strong headaches and panic attacks, just to name a few. They started subsiding at day 30.


    I’ve had really good and encouraging days, also! But I knew that almost two decades of porn addiction had root issues to it. I knew that the porn was medicating my pain and distracting me from facing my real self. I think I am getting to that place. I feel anxious again.. but it’s different, I am not numb. I know that I have had traumas and I can even point some of those out but I don’t know how to treat myself. It might be time to start looking for a good therapist, I think I’d greatly benefit from it. I am ready to face my self and wholly heal.


    Quitting porn has been the best decision of my life. No, it does not fix everything but porn is the biggest purpose killer I know. It causes you to walk around this earth feeling lifeless, yet there’s so much life on the inside of you to live.


    I’m so thankful for the Fortify community. I’m so loved by my family and friends and I’m grateful for God’s grace. Y’all keep fighting. If I, the most undisciplined man I know can do it, and learn discipline from this journey, y’all can do it, too.
     
  2. IAMFIGHTER

    IAMFIGHTER Fapstronaut

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    Congrats Man On Making It To 60 Days!
    KEEP
    FIGHTING
     
    Bull87 and Purekingsoul like this.
  3. All all

    All all Fapstronaut

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    Wow that is so well written.
    Kudos for your achievement.
     
    Bull87 likes this.
  4. PowerfulSRE

    PowerfulSRE Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    You did a great job mate. Don't stop there, and never stop investing in yourself. In my opinion, taking a therapist is a great idea. Thank you for sharing! Good luck!
     
    Bull87, Purekingsoul and All all like this.
  5. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

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    Did you have PIED? Or was it a lifestyle change for you? I feel so much better without PMO, I can't imagine relapsing. Still can't get turned on by real women though, so messed up!
     
  6. Rebooter85

    Rebooter85 Fapstronaut

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    I just thought 'is this guy telling my story?'
    I'm facing the same experiences like you after 60 days. Almost 20 years of PMO and sexting. Severe withdrawal symptoms. And now I see the root cause right on front of me... To me it is my dad, who never gave me any self esteem... He just did quit the opposite...
    I try to get a therapist as well.
     
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  7. Srisurya

    Srisurya Fapstronaut

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    I have been through the withdrawal symptoms the first few several long streaks. Damn those are worst. The streaks get easier with time and urges reduce but won't stop. It is when the urges reduces we reduce our alertness. And that's where chance of losing comes in. I lost at this point several times. So my advice don't lose your alertness.
    And Congratulations on your streak man. Keep going forward and succeed. Cheers.
     
    Bull87 likes this.
  8. Eaglevision_2019

    Eaglevision_2019 Fapstronaut

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    I perfectly understand when you say you say that quitting PMOing is the hardest challenge you have met in life so far. For me, it is toughest battle as well. Looking back, I think being sexually molested by my step sister was the root cause. I started having strange fetishes at a very young age. The hell! I would even want to fuck a dog at only 6/7 years old. I would even peep through cracks to watch my aunts..yes even my step mother bathe. The most embarrassing was fucking my step-mothers panties. It is so much shit, I can't even believe it myself. In retrospect, I think it was inevitable that I would get trapped in PMOing. I am at day 23 and have experienced the most severe withdrawal symptoms. I have been depressed severally. But nothing now matters to me except quitting this thing for good.
     
    Bull87 and Rebooter85 like this.
  9. ironmaing

    ironmaing Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear about your story but glad to hear that you’re NoFap. PMO is leading to an epidemic. I’ve suffered from PIED all my life which took a bad turn this year with depression and suicidal thoughts. Doctor mistakenly put me on TRT and now trying to get off it and hoping my testicles won’t be burnt from it.

    Nofap has helped me with focus and General happiness. I feel much more like a man than I ever did. I’m still suffering from PIED and worried I won't heal in time for my girlfriend. She’s being patient but not sure for how much longer...

    I’d suggest for you to read as much into PMO as possible as only then can you see the disastrous effect it has. I can’t imagine relapsing, I’m physically repulsed by the idea.

    Maybe on my end I need to stop obsessing about nofap and stop the PIED overthinking.
     
    Bull87 likes this.
  10. Bull87

    Bull87 Fapstronaut
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    I have somewhat a unique situation because I have been celibate for a while. I’m not planning to have sex anytime soon. But morning wood was absent for weeks. They’re back strong now. That’s as much as I’ll know for now, bro.
    And as we continue to stay clean from PMO, I can only imagine our healthy desires and drives will line up with our consistency. Stay strong, man.
     
  11. Bull87

    Bull87 Fapstronaut
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    Hey what’s up man! It’s crazy how many of us have similar stories huh?
    And believe it or not I’ve had issues with my dad too. He has always been present, physically, but not emotionally. We, as men, need to admit many of us have deep rooted issues because we were never really affirmed by our fathers. We are wired with that need (in my option) and when we lack to receive it as children we will attempt to find it elsewhere, and we’ll almost always end up worst off once we find that counterfeit for affirmation. Whether it’s pmo, sex, status, drugs or whatever else we can find to numb the pain.

    Bro, good job on the streak! Keep fighting man. I know this journey can be so damn hard. I’ll say a prayer for you.
     
  12. Well done! Keep up the good work!!
     
    Bull87 likes this.
  13. Bull87

    Bull87 Fapstronaut
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    Thanks man!
    And thanks for the warning. I’ll keep alert.
     
  14. Bull87

    Bull87 Fapstronaut
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    Thank you!
     
  15. Bull87

    Bull87 Fapstronaut
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    Thank you!
     
  16. Bull87

    Bull87 Fapstronaut
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    Hey man!
    Thanks for exposing your story. It is encouraging that you’re still fighting even though all the withdraw symptoms are still present. I know how that feels man. It seems like never ending pain.. but it subsides little by little. Molestation is also a part of my story. I think we’ll both benefit from therapy in the future. But in my opinion the biggest obstacle in our way is pmo, and the fact we’ve already acknowledge that, makes us winners already. Keep fighting man. As I said on my post -there’s still so much life to live.
     
  17. Eaglevision_2019

    Eaglevision_2019 Fapstronaut

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    Sure brother. We have to win this battle. There are no two ways about it.
     
  18. Eaglevision_2019

    Eaglevision_2019 Fapstronaut

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    I concur. I have always been ambitious about big things in life. It's only recently that I realized PMO almost crippled me. I kept wondering why there was so much inconsistency in my progress. Why it was so damn hard to do the things that my heart craved for despite taking the right measures. If nofap is the price I will pay to bring myself back to normalcy, then I am giving my all. Cheers brother. Let's keep the good fight.
     
  19. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Very inspiring words. Thanks a lot.
    Fortunately I am not porn addicted myself. But going the NO PMO journey will show me very soon where my addictions are.
    And those who have get rid of their own addiction are the best supporters of other addicted people .
    Keep on trucking! Stay strong!
     
    Bull87 likes this.
  20. Congrats on the 60 days milestone! Everything you said about porn is so true and i can definitely relate. Lets keep fighting and keep pushing, make our dreams come true in REAL WORLD.
     
    Bull87 likes this.

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