For those dealing with fetishes

Im not sure man. On a similar journey here.

 

Just do nofap without trying to recondition yourself. It may be enough. At least it has gotten me a tad closer to vanilla. Or you can still try to do that after getting to x days.
But if you like feet then you like feet. It may be a bit weird to ignore everything else that is to like, but so what. Focusing just on boobs and butts is not healthier in my opinion.

 

Similar problem too, got some serious fetishes, some properly dorty. Not sure what's fine and part of what I like and what is because of porn.

 

I am also dealing with a pre-porn induced fetish and it's certainly tougher as I understand than rebooting from a porn induced one. I guess my point here is to tell you to acknowledge that what you're trying to undertake is a massive thing and to not be too hard on yourself... focus on patience more than anything. Also I'll say that I don't see anything particularly wrong with your fetish, but you know you better than anyone so if it's bothering you then it's something that you are rightly dealing with.

I got to 107 days NoFap and have since been fapping once a week (without porn) and not fantasising about my particular disliked fetish. In that time, I did find that the intensity of the fetish to subside somewhat, however certainly 107 days wasn't long enough to fully reset my brain from it (I'm 27 and began masturbating at 17, so ten years of accessing material related to this fetish is going to be a huge thing to overcome).

I don't know the answer to developing more normal tastes, but I have a range of sexual fantasies and tastes and can tell you that despite having one particularly strong fetish that has been with me since childhood, physical sexual encounters with partners have unlocked a more "normal" side to my sexuality that I never knew existed.

Now I have been experimenting with exploring my fetish and scope of sexual fantasies during meditation - I honestly believe that in my case there is more required than just NoFap to deal with it. I would recommend you and anyone (regardless of them dealing with fetishes or not) meditate because it can really get your mind to change how your brain works. Remember, sexual arousal involves the brain. Being conscious and mindful of what's happening to your brain and body during those moments is certainly not something a lot of people try and explore... but it just may unlock some perspective and control on your particular fetish.

I will have to say that it is rather confronting, especially for those of us who are disturbed or unhappy about our particular fetishes. In my opinion our fetishes usually appear early on in childhood because of some kind of fear or defence mechanism to a situation we don't understand at the time. This is why often the more we try to push it away, the stronger it may become because to some extent it is ingrained in us. I also find that my strongest fetish is the one that I instantly find gives me an erection, whereas my more "vanilla" fantasies still turn me on but require deeper concentration or simple physical contact with a partner before I achieve an erection.

So I'm not saying to indulge in it, but maybe explore it without masturbating if you can and in a state of meditation. It just might transform the fetish's grip on you, but it won't happen overnight. Am here for any further advice if you have more questions!

All the best!

 

I don't think blowjobs is a natural fetish. I distinctly remember thinking that's unnatural when I was first figured out what it was.
Could just be me, but it doesn't seem normal.
Also what effects does thinking about foot fetish have on you emotionally? If you work on the emotions around it, it would be easier to rid yourself of it.
You have to dig deep within yourself and really be aware to get the emotions out, but it would be the most effective way since it's a fetish you've had since childhood.

 

I have this one particular fetish involving a particular fabric. On its own it is not sexual at all. I am at day 21 into my reboot and haven't looked at anything related to this fetish. It is something that could easily be seen in everyday life. I haven't come across it in the outside world yet, but it is just a matter of time before I do. I am worried that it may be a real trigger for me the next time I come across it.

 

I'd say don't worry about it and just focus on rebooting. On my longest streak I found that the weird fantasies I have faded in strength. As for the whole foot fetish thing, I don't think that is really an issue. When you have managed to reboot feet will just be another part of the female form that you appreciate along side everything else. I'm pretty sure a fair few women do love a good foot massage. Personally I think the fact you are trying to arouse yourself is the reason you are relapsing because I did a similar thing and It caused me to repeatedly fail my goals. If your fetish is truly distressing you I would say cross that bridge when you have rebooted. At least then you will have a far superior mindset and the strength needed to face the issue without a high risk of falling into old habits. Use your judgement and trust your intuition and you should be fine.

 

After rebooting, I found that vanilla stuff was arousing to me, and I even found myself aroused by other fetishes I had never been into before. I found that I actually was not particularly interested in my old fetish. But after enough time having relapsed into PMO again, I returned to the old fetish and it was still the strongest, though oddly not as strong as before. It's hard to know why.

Interestingly, after rebooting, while MOing but before relapsing to PMO, the vanilla sexual fantasies were more exciting and fulfilling than any porn. My libido was high than it had ever been, and I was pretty much only into heteronormative sex stuff. So I think it probably is possibly to forget a fetish, not through reconditioning, but just through full abstinence from sexual thoughts and MO/PMO, but perhaps it will be something you will always have to avoid if you want to stay capable of liking vanilla stuff. Just like how we will always have to avoid porn. The pathways in our brain for this stuff are too deeply carved into our brain. It's like if our train of thought gets near it, it just falls right in.

 

Being a lad who also has a foot fetish I can relate to this, however I had a foot fetish long before I started watching porn, so I don't expect it to go away after my reboot.

Many people with perfectly normal sex lives have fetishes so I don't think it is too much of an issue. I think it is probably amplified by porn use so while I expect it to subside to an extent, I don't expect it to disappear completely, but I'm cool with that

 

I'm so happy to have read what you have to say. Thank you for offering your opinion on difficulty in rebooting from porn versus fetishes. The concept that fetishes are borne out of some anxiety/confusion inducing experience in childhood has been the most compelling one I have found yet. It seems to explain much of my life and of others.

Soon I will be attempting a stress debriefing exercise of experiences I suspect led me to have the sexuality I have today. The idea here is that if I induce a calm state (perhaps through a dose of propranolol if necessary) and retell the stories that I believe have led me to have the fetishes I wish to address. Essentially, I will be looking to dissociate fear and confusion from those nucleating experiences. Dissociating pleasure from accessing fetish materials in conjunction with dissociating fear/confusion from the suspected origins of my sexuality may offer a higher chance of success for me. Does that make sense? ^_^*

 

^this.
I also have a fetish- spandex/nylon/yogapants - I just completed a 90 and still refraining from PMO.
I can say it's diminished w/ the 90 day - and I start to get attracted to more 'normal' stuff (though it's perfect natural to like a fit woman in yoga pants! - the problem is it degenerated into the material/pants itself ... well i'll spare you the details!)
I am trying to ask myself a. why do i like this? also 'de-mystify' it. Perhaps ask yourself why you are attracted try to write it out.. ..
For me my goal is to start dating and have vanilla sex- and i am refraining from PMO - i am hoping wiring sex stimulation into normal sex and starving the circuits on the fetish will help things.

 

I have fetish on bras and panties

 

This is EXACTLY why I just came to nofap and started abstinence from porn. I literally just made a post about this yesterday. I developed a pre-porn induced fetish when I was like 10. I saw a female classmate put her hand over her friends mouth while pinching her nostrils shut, and I dont know why or how, but that made me REALLY turned on-- I wanted her to do that to me. Ever since then I have had this "hand over mouth smother" fetish and for years and years and years that's the ONLY porn I would watch because it was/still is like the ONLY thing that gets me aroused. Unless the porn is showing a female/male dominating someone by putting their hand over their mouth and nose while simultaneously jacking them off, I do NOT get turned on. Its just so fucking specific and fucked up because I never asked for it or chose it. I just only get turned on by that. So I am hoping that nofap will help me as well with this area. ITS SO FUCKING ANNOYING.