Withdrawals withdrawals withdrawals

Hey guys, man I’m going through it rn. I’ve read loads of posts on here so I decided to make my own cuz it’ll help me and others that read it later. I’ve been a heavy addict since I was young. I had one girlfriend when I was 14-15 we had sex often but after that we broke up and I never managed to get another girl so the serious porn Hobbie began. I am now 22 and over the last 6 years I jerked it often. Made the flute sing, beat the chicken blue my usage was heavy. I’m talking twice a day average sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times man I can’t even recall I did it so much. I did so much some days that by the last time I couldn’t even get hard so I had to beat at light speed. I swear my right arm is bigger because of all this meat beating. I’m so ashamed. Thousands of nuts, trillions of my dna babies gone to waste. I’m so ashamed. That and marijuana usage definitely destroyed my love life. I was awkward with females all the time oh how awful it was and is still. So I took a stand. I tried often for the past 2 months to stop but I constantly only made it 5-7 days. So at the end of August enough was enough. The time was now and I was going all in. I asked the lord for help and willpower. I decided maybe I’d be able to not go back if I let this ship set sail with a proper farewell and bought a pretty hooker ($300) and called it quits. It was eh she was tired but hot oh well I guess that’s what I get. We fucked twice then just sat there and talked for half an hour. Poor girl I wish she didn’t have to sell her body she could definitely find a good man she’s still only early twenties. I’ll help them one day. But never the less it was hard mode time. So it began September first. The first 3 days were honestly SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION. I was like yeah this is gunna be cake. Oh boy was I wrong. After that extreme anxiety hit first... I would sit up at night buggin about my ambitions and current situation. I constantly felt wierd and my chest felt odd to the point that a couple of nights I thought maybe something was wrong with my heart. I went to the doctor. Ekg and exam went fine and I could tell they thought I might be going mad. After that Things would usually be fine during the day I would slightly be on edge sometimes with anxiety during the day but it wouldn’t last long and I would go about my daily routine which is mainly exercise and am trying to get in real good shape. I don’t work atm so all I do is yoga workout. I had a wet dream on day 7. day 12 I edged but stopped myself and did not bust I was so ashamed I just wanted to make sure my dick worked but realized soon this was just my mind fiending for it. A huge panic attacked followed. Thank god I didn’t ejaculate or else I don’t even know how I would’ve felt. almost every other night when I get home and get in bed by myself the anxiety spikes and I feel horrible. I have this constant urge to shake and I feel an odd sensation around my body feeling light but it’s not light headed it’s odd more like I’m falling. I feel mad. Sometimes I feel kinda light headed Ive had headaches maybe twice a week this all took place from day 6-24. Wet dream on day 22. I felt really good for two days during day 25 and 26. Then boom day 27 and it’s like I have the flu. Half the time I feel alright but the other half everything is going wild I have this pain pressure that circulates my head it’ll be at my temples then the top then the back then my brow ridge. I constantly feel odd My stomach is turning I had some diahrrea for this week one day it’ll be good then the next diahrrea like today it was good but now at night my stomach is grumbling. The anxiety is insane I’m over thinking everything. the depression is horrible I’ve sunk so low I analyze all of society and human existence oh my. it’s so odd this feeling. I constantly think I gotta get a girl but then realize I shouldn’t even have sex at this point cuz my brain may be so fucked up from this constant dopamine hits multiple times a day. I haven’t been eating well these or sleeping well for days 29 30 31 and today 32. My sleep has been horrible these days my sleeping schedule is comeetely out of wack for like 5 days because of this. I feel so restless and uncomfortable all day. But then I’ll feel good for like an hour then back to feeling bad. I am going to make it through this. So here I am sitting here with this pressure going around my head farting loud stomach grumbling feeling anxious as fuck pretty depressed and weak but I will stay strong. Hopefully this post will help others if they are going through it like this just know your not alone. I’m down to chat on here I want to hear if other people are feeling the same. Damn man I feel like I’m coming off dope or something. I wonder how long this will last lol some post of people feeling similar after hard addictions say awhile oh well. See I’m starting to feeling abit better rn. Odd feeling in my eyes though. How’s everyone’s day?

 

My blood pressure was normal when I went in but that was a couple weeks ago so maybe it has changed now. I too exercise a lot. I’m relieved to hear others have felt similar. wow 8-9 weeks until you felt better the second time that’s impressive you made it through that. I had a wet dream last night. although it is not masturbation I’m worried about these affecting my withdrawals because I wake up feeling fine the days I have them like right now I feel good physically but I know come tomorrow it won’t be the same. Anyone know the secret or have thoughts on the wet dreams? I’m worried they might pick up and start happening more often.

 

I feel like these wet dreams are a problem they just prolong my withdrawal symptoms when I have them