It’s been a week without P and it’s been incredibly challenging overcoming my daily anxiety without resorting to PMO. However I’m in weekly counseling and also determined to avoid at least P for 90 days as well as drastically reducing M. I’m in a long term relationship, so I’m not avoiding O for now (except if it’s necessary to do so in the future). I’m also hoping that healthy dieting, gymming, staying productive and taking anti-anxiety medication will assist in overcoming this 17-year struggle. Looking forward to being supported and supporting fellow PMO addicts in this community. We can all do this!!
Take 5-htp tablets and use swear words to increase your serotonin levels. This should cure the anxiety and rid you of the addiction. I have a thread in my profile about doing the swear words method.
Welcome! We’re glad you’re here. I can totally relate with your comments regarding anxiety. What you are feeling is withdrawal symptoms from your addiction. They will eventually go away if you continue to ignore them. You can make a positive impact on your life by leaving PMO behind. By the way, good work on seeing a counselor. A lot of people are too proud to acknowledge that they need help. I saw two different therapists and also attended SAA meetings. All of those things were helpful. Addiction thrives on secrecy so when we open up to others about our addiction it really helps us eventually overcome PMO. I was able to overcome P 10 years ago. I’m still working on overcoming MO - I believe that this practice is NOT ok, even though many people on here don’t believe there is anything wrong with it. M is also an addiction that makes us lesser people. It limits our ultimate potential as human beings. Best of luck to here. Let me know if I can be of any help or if you have any questions about how to navigate the site. Take care.
Hello and welcome! We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started. Getting Started Guide | How to Use theNoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | ForumRules | Glossary If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll definitely check out your thread about swearing. I already swear like sailor most of the time, but I’m sure I can apply this better to overcome my anxiety. I’ll also check if 5-htp tablets (or something equal to it) is available in the pharmacies in my country. Thanks again fedmom!
Thank you so much, Jefe Rojo. It’s good and reassuring to know someone can relate to my struggles with PMO and anxiety. Well done for cutting out P for 10 years! It’s something I can definitely aspire to saying one day too. I’m also convinced that my anxiety is completely related to my withdrawals from PMO. My brain clearly needs to rewire itself to find healthier ways to self-soothe during periods of stress, boredom or procrastination. I wasn’t clear about my avoidance of M. My hope is to only incorporate M as a sexual act with my partner. The ultimate goal for me is to only share my sexual desires and fulfillment with another human and not withdraw into pleasuring myself alone. I’m certain this constant feeling of disconnection and anxiety is linked to my PMO addiction and this community has also reinforced that idea. As you mentioned, addiction thrives on secrecy and I think privately shaming oneself just makes it even worse. Thank you for your support and I will definitely reach out when things get tough or if I need any help on the site. Please feel free to seek support from me too. Best of luck and stay strong!
Hi Mighty8, welcome here, and wishing you loads of strength and good luck overcoming your porn addiction. You can do it!
I think it's also got something to do with the fight or flight response, so if when you swear you don't feel stressed it likely isn't enough to increase serotonin. For some reason shouting them "internally" induces the fight or flight response very effectively.
Thanks! It wasn’t easy but it is something that I believe anyone can achieve if they are dedicated enough and are willing to do whatever it takes. I know that you can do it. What it will take is consistent dedication, even when times get tough (and they will), even if you relapse - which you probably will, even several times. I’m not expressing a lack of confidence in your ability to overcome this addiction. There are some people who are completely ready to leave PMO behind them and they are able to do it on their first try. This is a rare occurrence. The addiction usually runs pretty deep and takes a while to overcome. Don’t get discouraged. Each time we fall down, we must have the courage to get back up and try again. But the key is to learn from each relapse. What triggered us? What can we do differently next time? Sometimes it’s hard to know how or why we relapse because it has become such an automatic response over the years. But identifying why it happens immediately after it happens will help you realize why it is happening and what can be done instead. This is the key to freedom. Your default settings in your brain need to be reprogrammed. Right now PMO is an automatic response to your triggers. It used to be that way for me too. Creating new neurological pathways is hard work. Your brain is a muscle. Each time you resist you are strengthening that muscle. Over time, if you resist long enough without giving in, those urges and withdrawals become much more manageable, to the point where you can hardly notice them anymore. But we need to come up with defense strategies ahead of time for those triggering situations. What will you do the next time you’re stressed or bored (instead of turning to PMO)? Write out your plan and make it happen. It needs to become your new automatic response. This is good. I believe this about myself too. Sex is supposed to be something you share, it isn’t an individual (selfish) matter. When we share it, it can be an edifying experience. When we do it by ourselves we get something for nothing. Instant gratification erodes our self worth and self esteem. No problem! I was given support when I first joined and it gave me the boost of confidence that I needed to start making a positive change in my life. It’s the least I can do. Also, I want to dedicate my life to fighting PMO for myself and others. I try and share lessons that I learn so that others can learn and avoid some of the pitfalls that I’ve been able to overcome. If I can help others along the way, it helps me repair my self esteem and in a way it sort of erases my past. One last thing. I’ve been here since December of last year. The people who are most successful are those who stick around through thick and thin. The majority of people who start with NoFap will typically last a few weeks to a few months before giving up and deleting their account. Mediocre effort will yield mediocre results. Give it all you have. Be dedicated to becoming the person you know you can become. It’s going to be really difficult. There will be discouraging times ahead. But there is a bright future ahead as well. You must pay the price for that freedom. You should consider keeping a journal here on NoFap in the “Logs” section. It helps to write down your thoughts and feelings and it is also a place where people can follow you and offer encouragement and or advice. It’s been a great help for me.
I’ve taken everything you said to heart and appreciate the time you’ve taken to reply so extensively to my post. You’re completely right, I need to write down realistic defense strategies for when things get tough and I have unstoppable urges to self-soothe with PMO. I’ve already had these urges this last week (been working alone from home) but I’ve turned to healthy distractions (like visiting NoFap, weight training, talking to friends, playing with my pets, even listening to music etc.) when the urges overwhelm me. I watched a film which had unexpected full-frontal nudity in it tonight and it’s taking every once of self-control not to revisit it when my partner is asleep tonight. Things like that are big unexpected triggers for me but I will remind myself of my goals and distract myself as much as possible. As you said, it’s going to take a very long time for my brain to rewire itself but for now I’m taking it day-by-day. I’m hopeful that I can stay focussed for the 90-day milestone but I will also not beat myself up if I relapse. The addiction is bad enough, shaming myself won’t achieve anything. Not to sound cheesy but I do believe overcoming this addiction is a marathon, not a sprint. I like your suggestion of journaling in the Logs. I think it could definitely be beneficial. Thanks again Jefe. Have a great weekend!
Glad to hear it. I also appreciate when I meet people who are sincere about wanting to overcome this addiction. I think you’re ready to make some serious progress. Good work! That’s exactly how you’ll succeed. Definitely keep doing this. I find that staying mindful of your feelings and emotions is also a really important step. Sometimes we don’t realize that we’re tired or bored, etc. But being mindful of those emotions can help us know when we might be at risk. Sometimes I ask myself “what am I feeling right now?”. After a while you become good at recognizing those feelings. It’s especially helpful to ask yourself that question when you’re feeling urges or tempted to PMO. There is always an underlying issue that you might be trying to subconsciously medicate through PMO. Good! When I first started to try to overcome my addiction to P, I would really be hard on myself and I would feel worse and then PMO to escape those feelings and then feel even worse and the PMO some more. It’s a vicious spiral. But if it happens we need to brush it off, call it a mistake or learning opportunity and then move on. Yes it is. It takes time, constant effort and endurance, just like a marathon. I actually ran a marathon this past spring and several times while I was training I made this very same conclusion about overcoming a PMO addiction. Our bodies are amazing machines. They are able to adapt and heal themselves. Btw, congrats on making it 7 days. That’s a great start. Have a good weekend.
