Hello, I thought i was doing well until today

Hello all,

I recently joined NoFap in hopes of finally beating pornography once and for all, I was going on a very long streak; I want to say about nine months I was fighting the good fight up until today. I slipped up and knowing how I am my old tendencies came up and down the rabbit hole I went. I feel absolutely terrible and ill, a few seconds of bliss and hour long end of dread. I don't want to keep repeating this cycle all again, I want to stop; I was doing so well and then today happened. I am greatly disappointed in myself and self control.
I have a girlfriend (kind of) we live together but we have been on and off, right now we are not together but still act like a couple. Late last year we had a talk about my pornography and I spoke to her about it, how I want to quit and become a better person, not letting porn addiction rule me. A few months later I ended up breaking our promise and in the end she got hurt, more than anything I felt like a monster, a creep and just another piece of trash rolling by. Porn has ruined my relationship, my confidence and has taken an emotional toll on me. I swore to her that whenever something like this happens I would talk her to about it but right now I don't think I have the courage to speak to her about it, which is terrible I know. I just want to build a better relationship, become a better person and eliminating porn entirely from my life.
I joined NoFap today because I want to beat this addiction and talk with people who understand my struggle as well, so that I turn can help others. I never thought I would have to use a support group but here I am today, I am ready to win.

 

Hey, Its been a while since I last posted and thank you for your support! I guess part of my success lies within the fact that my S/O has been hurt so much by my porn addiction. I keep going behind her back and "relapsing" and it has caused a lot of strain on our relationship. I find myself panicking at times because the urge I get is strong but I am showing restraint, I know that it will pass and that the real thing is not worth a computer screen. I came here to become stronger!

 

It’s been on and off, as of right now I’m a “single” father and I was on a break with the mom but we had an issue arise again from my porn watching so she said she has had enough of it and left me. I’m back to watching porn again and to be honest, I don’t have the support system that I use to have that kept me far away. The reason I’m writing today is to put a stop to this porn addiction once and for all.