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First time home alone...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SPW69002, Oct 25, 2019.

  1. Oct 25, 2019 #1
    SPW69002

    SPW69002 Fapstronaut

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    Since my world came crashing down on Monday, after getting caught having an online affair and then confessing to my porn addiction and having seen escorts. My wife has been unbelievable supportive, but it's still unclear if our marriage will survive. I want more than anything for it to survive, and to try to repair myself and the damage I've caused - which I know will take a lot of work and a lot of time.

    My wife has left to go visit our daughter for a few days - who is also traumatized and crushed from all of this. This is my first time alone - time I used to always immediately turn to porn. I am so freaked out about everything that I've done and everything that's happened that I do not feel tempted - but it feels weird that my usual go-to soothing behavior is no longer there. I'll take it hour by hour, a day at a time. I can see that there's a much better life ahead under my new reality, but man, it's very scary out there...
     
    SPW69002, Oct 25, 2019
    SPW69002, Oct 25, 2019
    #1
  2. Oct 25, 2019 #2
    You_ll_succed_for_sure

    You_ll_succed_for_sure Fapstronaut

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    Okay, did you ask her for forgiveness ?
     
    You_ll_succed_for_sure, Oct 25, 2019
    You_ll_succed_for_sure, Oct 25, 2019
    #2
  3. Oct 25, 2019 #3
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Okay, so it's out in the open. Though this feels like rock bottom, believe me, there is no bottom if you don't keep talking and keep taking steps to heal yourself, your relation and your family. This takes time and efford. You have to be open to change. Talking is key but words mean nothing if you don't DO things, make changes, show a new you.

    First things first. Maybe, get therapy, you need guidance. It also shows you are taking steps. Secondly, paint the house, get things fixed while your wife is away. Clean the house, shave, and put flowers on the table. These are just small steps but it shows change, a new situation. This is survivable, do it right and it will even make you stronger in the long run.

    Take care, I wish you all the best.
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 25, 2019
    Deleted Account, Oct 25, 2019
    #3
    Deleted Account and You_ll_succed_for_sure like this.
  4. Oct 25, 2019 #4
    You_ll_succed_for_sure

    You_ll_succed_for_sure Fapstronaut

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    The post above is truly a good advice.
     
    You_ll_succed_for_sure, Oct 25, 2019
    You_ll_succed_for_sure, Oct 25, 2019
    #4
  5. Oct 25, 2019 #5
    HelplessPleaseHelp?

    HelplessPleaseHelp? Fapstronaut

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    Hi buddy, it's nice to hear that you don't have your porn urge anymore. It's something that we aclaim to in our social engineering society since we are teenagers. One friend come and teach you how to masturbate and then all of a sudden all your routine changes. I think it's positive you have time to practice your other oppurtonities which are not porn. Because with this is the way to discover yourself and see what you are capable of.
    I think that you are more powerful than you believe. Trust yourself and your soul. Good Luck!!
     
    HelplessPleaseHelp?, Oct 25, 2019
    HelplessPleaseHelp?, Oct 25, 2019
    #5
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Oct 25, 2019 #6
    SPW69002

    SPW69002 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, all of you. Yes, I have asked her for forgiveness, and she has been uncommonly grateful and loving - but whether what I've done has gone too far to ever be able to put this together remains to be seen. I'm not religious in any way, but at her suggestion I went to a church today to light a candle for our marriage and one for our daughter. I've been taking long walks and enjoying nature and the beauty of our city. I have booked therapy appointments - first one is tomorrow, and am looking forward to doing the hard work to rebuild my relationships and myself. I've taken the first steps, and will keep putting one foot in front of the other...
     
    SPW69002, Oct 25, 2019
    SPW69002, Oct 25, 2019
    #6
    PaulPaul and You_ll_succed_for_sure like this.
  7. Oct 25, 2019 #7
    You_ll_succed_for_sure

    You_ll_succed_for_sure Fapstronaut

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    You have a good wife, it's feel good to read that.

    Now she encouraging you to be for her, and with her, now as PaulPaul said above, do some things to keep your marriage stong.

    Nice news.

    Keep doing.
     
    You_ll_succed_for_sure, Oct 25, 2019
    You_ll_succed_for_sure, Oct 25, 2019
    #7
  8. Oct 26, 2019 #8
    SPW69002

    SPW69002 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks - No PMO for 10+ days, Day 2 of being home alone, and have not experienced any temptation or twinges. I feel as if I went back for even one more shot it would ruin everything I've now decided to work for and dedicate myself to. Staying strong, day by day. This forum is a huge help!
     
    SPW69002, Oct 26, 2019
    SPW69002, Oct 26, 2019
    #8
    You_ll_succed_for_sure likes this.

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