What i believe in?

I am writing this thread to remind myself what i believe in regarding my sexual fantasies.Being a Muslim,I have been taught that a person has free will and a person himself chooses to do something or think something,but there are some restrictions as pointed by Al Ghazzali in his occasionalism.Ghazali says that every event or thought in your life is governed by God and if i want to think about something,i can think about it only if God wills and if God wills against it i won't be able to think about it.Also Satan interferes with your thought process and induces bad thought patterns in your brain.Now i have free will and I can either allow those thoughts to take me into the hell hole or i can resist them.My point is that I shouldn't be ashamed of what i think but i should be ashamed of what i do which in this context is masturbation and watching porn.Also,if a sexual thought raids my mind,if i am aware about the whole thought process that I have written above and still give in to my callous self,then i sin and if i am not mentally aware about the whole things i believe in,i don't sin.
We tend to judge ourselves based on the fact that we think something that goes against our values.This should not be the case because whatever you think....any random or gross sexual fetish you have ever had,that is not you.I refuse to accept that it is a part of me.Satan induced the thought in me and then my free will began to dwell in it.
I have seen some people with gross sexual fetishes who accept that these fantasies are a part of them but i don't buy into that.I believe to change myself and I will inshallah.
I want this thead to get replayed in my mind every single time a sexual thought creeps into my mind.

 

If you can decipher that it is him,it is good.