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I'm afraid to start because I'm afraid to fail

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Juggernaut90, Nov 7, 2019.

  1. Nov 7, 2019 #1
    Juggernaut90

    Juggernaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Hello guys,

    Im not new to noFap, I did countless tries and made it over 60 days hardmode 2 times.

    But those days are long gone. I improved myself by a ton since that time. I got a job, started working out and I have a social life... but:

    When I did the 60 days I played computergames all day and Life was easy. Now I got work to do, work out, live alone and have to worry about my clothing and food etc, etc.. I cant manage to get over 10 days, even 2 or 3 days are very hard for me and I feel like I need to relax myself.

    I know this is the next step to take for me but I dont know how to get through the week, or even month when I have no chance to reliefe myself.

    Porn was a big deal back then, today I only like softcore stuff but I see myself giving it room again when weeks ago porn was of the table completly.

    I wanna stop and I wanna stop for good but how can I calm down? Urges themself arent that hard for me but when I think about fighting these urges not for a few days but for months I go crazy.

    Honest post... hope someone can relate.

    Good luck to all of you
     
    Juggernaut90, Nov 7, 2019
    Juggernaut90, Nov 7, 2019
    #1
    Deleted Account and Mike Bonanno like this.
  2. Nov 7, 2019 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hello Brother and welcome to the forum :)

    Fear of failure is natural emotion and this is somewhat common fear that keeps us achieving things we want to achieve. Don't fear failure because everyone of us has failed many times before we learned how to do this correctly. Just like Thomas Edison when inventing a light bulb. An journalist asked how he felt when he had failed 2000 times before inventing light bulb that lasted long enough, he answered: "I didn't fail. I just discovered 2000 ways how not to make a light bulb".

    If you fall 100 times but finish the marathon, do you consider that a fail? Of course not. You pat yourself on your back and feel like a friggin' Superhero! Remember that it's failure only when you refuse to get up after falling down.

    My suggestion is to "gamifyi" your streak. Join first a small challenge (for example 7-day challenge) and finish that. Then continue to 14-day challenge an so on. This way you get many small victories along the way which gives you confidence and motivation to continue.
    I did this and it really helped me to stay on my streak :).

    - Mike
     
    Deleted Account, Nov 7, 2019
    Deleted Account, Nov 7, 2019
    #2
    ifthecoppertubes and Juggernaut90 like this.
  3. Nov 7, 2019 #3
    ifthecoppertubes

    ifthecoppertubes Fapstronaut

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    This right here might be an example of skewed rationalization... Be really careful.

    Whatever the reasons are for your feelings of anxiety, porn (even soft) is definitively not the solution. It makes things much worse in the long run.
    In fact, PMO, and the empty dopamine hit that comes with it, *prevents* you from investigating/analyzing the root causes of the stress, trying some life adjustments and looking for sustainable solutions (and in the end, getting healthy dopamine hits).

    PMO gives relief the same way alcohol does: we might think it does, but it really doesn't.
     
    ifthecoppertubes, Nov 7, 2019
    ifthecoppertubes, Nov 7, 2019
    #3
    Juggernaut90 likes this.
  4. Nov 7, 2019 #4
    Juggernaut90

    Juggernaut90 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your post mike. What you write is 100% true. I'm afraid that the new stress with NoFap could make me struggle in my job but I need to do it.

    The small challenges sound great but I've been there. As ifthecoppertubes said: I need to find healthy ways to relax.

    But what he (you) says about the prevention of healing is also true. Before my last fap I even knew it will drain me in the long run.

    Thanks for welcoming me so friendly. :)
     
    Juggernaut90, Nov 7, 2019
    Juggernaut90, Nov 7, 2019
    #4
    Mike Bonanno and ifthecoppertubes like this.
  5. Nov 7, 2019 #5
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    Deleted Account, Nov 7, 2019
    Deleted Account, Nov 7, 2019
    #5
    Mike Bonanno likes this.

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