i question myself about what im doing.

so i moved out thinking it was gonna help me and it did in many ways but it painfully clear that simply moving out doesnt make much of a difference when it comes to yourself. i wanted to quit watching porn and masturbating and then the past two days i have been going on a bender, waking up to watching porn on my phone, to masturbating all night when nobody is around and then staying up till 7 in the morning because i just want to get that last one in before i go to sleep. i think i mustve masturbated 6 or 7 times yesterday and about the same the day before. i dont want to be looking girls and boy on the internet. i want to go out and meet people to have fun with, to have a real relationship with somebody so i dont have to look at some chick who ill never meet fake a bunch of orgasms.

im currently unemployed so i have to look for a job, i think when i have one i might get to know some people, make some friends you know? right now i i dont really have anyone i can talk to about these kinds of things, theyre still in my hometown.

at this point i dont really know what i can or should do. all i can think of is wanting things, like yeah i'd be fucking great if i had a gf but i dont have one, and yeah it'd be great to have a bunch of friends here but i dont. thinking about it just makes me less motivated each time and i dont even know why. are people that scary? is it really that difficult to go out to some places i like to meet people? not really, but in stead of going after those things i sit here behind my computer effectively destroying myself.

what are some things that you gys do to keep yourself on track? what are your carrot and stick? cause i just kind of keep forgetting to motivate myself. the only motivation i have to go do stuff is to meet girls, and well thats a terrible motivation because it doesnt progress me in a good way, its just a replacement for my addiction. most of the time i dont even think i want a gf to do bfgf things with but just so i can have sex with her and girls are more than just their vaginas.

so please if you have anything that you think might be useful to me i would love to hear it. anything to give myself a better carrot and stick.

thanks and good luck.

 

thank you. did you experience anythin similar to my situation when you first started nofap?

 

you know its not even so much about the 90 days or whatever, like if i can go 30 days without good if can go 40 days even better but i just want o relay my energy and focus from pussy to something useful. like the things you mentioned.

 

as much as i would love believe that i just dont think it'll be that simple. i mean i think about it all the time.

 

sorry if i made it look like im looking for a gf but its realy secondary at this moment. its more that right now i dont have anyone that i can really talk to. and i feel like if i could get someone that i can talk to itll be enough. it's just that beofre i moved i had already invested a lot into myself and atm PMO is kinda the only thing thats hindering me. i think im ready for a lot of things but also not ready for a lot of other things. having a gf right now probably wouldnt be good no and besides by the time that something like that comes around maybe the situation will be different depending on how long from now that is right?

 

right now i want to atleast make this town a bit more of a home for me. get a job, some friends some new hobbies maybe.

 

the point that i was trying to make was that i was tired of living my life through a screen and especially done with looking at girls online. theyre not real and i want to detach myself from this surreality and be living in the real world where theres tonnes of cool things to do and to experience and a lot of cool people to meet and hang out with.