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Exhibitionist Urges

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by SWAMPfox, Nov 16, 2019.

  1. Nov 16, 2019 #1
    SWAMPfox

    SWAMPfox New Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure if this is very common, but for me, the last time I tried doing the classic NoFap 90 day reboot I ended up developing this strange exhibitionist urge which shamefully, through reddit, I have indulged. I got addicted to the rush of showing my nude self to others and reading their comments and messages, but when my morality would finally catch up with me I would quickly delete the pictures along with the account. I have done this multiple times over the past year and it always ends with me being ashamed and hating myself for carrying out the action. I felt like I had no control over myself, like lust had guided my hand.

    It would usually start with a few drinks, then I would get that feeling and then open up a few P links. In my lust driven stupor I would get the great idea that "hey I could do that." So I would take some pics, edit and color correct, and then post them to reddit on a new account complete with a throwaway email address. When I would wake up the next morning I would check the account and get turned on by all the attention, and then basically waste the whole day refreshing my account page waiting for more upvotes and comments. It was addicting, but eventually I would "come" to my senses and realize WTF am I doing?! And delete the account.

    I haven't felt any of these urges lately, but I feel ashamed of the past year in which I have indulged in them. Please, if there is anyone else out there who has gone through a similar experience, let me know. I hate myself for having done this and wish that I had been stronger.
     
    SWAMPfox, Nov 16, 2019
    SWAMPfox, Nov 16, 2019
    #1
  2. Nov 16, 2019 #2
    bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Alcohol weakens inhibitions, directly in contrast to what a noFAP journey is trying to do, so be especially careful for potential to fall prey to triggers and urges when using alcohol. If you'll be consuming, consider implementing a "no internet" rule if you have an alcohol-containing drink.



    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
    bfdet, Nov 16, 2019
    bfdet, Nov 16, 2019
    #2
    SWAMPfox likes this.
  3. Nov 16, 2019 #3
    iUsedToHaveAnAccountHere

    iUsedToHaveAnAccountHere Fapstronaut

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    Ive done similar things, but instead of using pics of myself, I used pictures or my GF - I dont know why, but somehow I really enjoyed hearing others like ”confirm” that she was hot etc..
    This was a coping mechanism for me, a way for me to escape reality somehow into some kind of fantasy world.

    Im glad that I told her and managed to stop, because today I would never to the same.
    We are engaged and living a happy life now, so I am happy that I managed to break the habit.


    These kind of behaviours are pretty common, i mean, pretty much every P-site contains secretly taken photos of like ”exes” or such, its scary how so many people dont seem to be bothered by their own behaviour, letting it stay online without taking it down once they are ”done”
     
    iUsedToHaveAnAccountHere, Nov 16, 2019
    iUsedToHaveAnAccountHere, Nov 16, 2019
    #3
    Deleted Account and SWAMPfox like this.
  4. Nov 20, 2019 #4
    SWAMPfox

    SWAMPfox New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the feedback.
     
    SWAMPfox, Nov 20, 2019
    SWAMPfox, Nov 20, 2019
    #4
  5. Nov 20, 2019 #5
    SWAMPfox

    SWAMPfox New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the insight and congrats on the engagement. This has really helped me feel somewhat less alone and ashamed. I still haven't had any of these urges lately, but I'm only going on day 3, so we'll see if I can muster the willpower to fight them if they ever show up again.
     
    SWAMPfox, Nov 20, 2019
    SWAMPfox, Nov 20, 2019
    #5
  6. Nov 21, 2019 #6
    NothingMoreNothingLess

    NothingMoreNothingLess Fapstronaut

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    Hey man. It seems like you should go beyond the classic 90 day reboot. Generally, it takes older males 90 days and for younger males it takes a bit more since a younger male has a stronger libido. I would suggest keep on doing your reboot, however, I would also recommend dropping the drinking habit. That stuff can relax your bad thoughts or a bad day, but it weakens you mentally. You will become a bit more lenient to bad actions and slip back to the devil's playground known as PMO. I do not drink at all, nor do I smoke or do any drugs. I prefer to be clean since my mind much more clear and free if that makes sense. You have your morals in check from what I've read and you know the stuff you did was wrong. You admit to it, and now you have to act on becoming a better version of yourself than you are today. Quit the addiction, and don't let it control your life man. I believe in you! ;)
     
    NothingMoreNothingLess, Nov 21, 2019
    NothingMoreNothingLess, Nov 21, 2019
    #6
    SWAMPfox and wallieboy92 like this.

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