Brain wired to porn due to years of use

Deleted Account · Nov 25, 2019

So I turned 18 recently, and I have been addicted to porn since the age of 8-9.

Once my addiction got really bad, all real life emotions and attractions disappeared, and it wasn’t until I slowed down my addiction and tried to quit for over a year, going on consistent streaks with no binge, that I was able to recover somewhat real life attraction.

What I have noticed though is that when I have real life interactions with girls, I get bored and suffer delayed ejaculation, and then I go home and pmo to some milf porn and it’s so much better. I have wired my brain to porn and I was wondering how long is the process to wire it back to real sex? I am a virgin and that’s by choice, prolly due to me not being interested in real sex. What is the process of recovery going to be like and what signs should I look for? When should I begin to have sex?

Also another thing is recently my romantic feelings have returned after years of it being gone(due to porn) when I was middle school I would say I wasn’t the best looking kid but I used to get crushes all the time on girls, and I was always rejected. Years down the road, I am a whole different person.

I’m 6’5, and in insane shape. I have been told at least 500 times I am hot by tons of girls, and even had some dudes say I’m a good looking guy, even though I have insecurities about how I look due to my past. I have had girls literally offer themselves to me and I have rejected because I just feel like I’ll regret it, as tempting as they are sometimes, I know it’s not the right decision, I want to save it for the special someone, I believe in love.

Lately I have been falling hard for girls, I have insane feelings for a girl right now and I finally asked her on a date. I had feelings for her due to our flirty relationship in the class we have together, and I have grown to like her and I know she’s was into me too. We went on our date, and I didn’t want to treat her like some hoe and just hook up with her, but I feel that is what she wanted. When I told her I was a virgin and was waiting for somebody special, I think it turned her off, she wasn’t looking for a relationship, just a quick fuck. After our date I texted her and she didn’t even respond, and in class yesterday she acted completely different and ignored me, and started to tell this other girl about this guy she’s texting. I am completely crushed and I don’t understand why she would do this to me, my friend who sits by us thinks she’s trying to play mind games with me and I was going to say something after class but couldn’t get the courage to do it. I really do like this girl but maybe she isn’t interested in the same idea I am. I will definitely say something soon and tell her how I feel.

tl:dr
What is the process for rewiring the brain from artificial stimulation to real sex going to be like? When should I start to have sex?
Why do I fall so hard for girls and how do I get over these feelings that eat me up inside.

deepspace · Nov 26, 2019

I can't offer much to your actual questions, but I do have something to say about the girl who went cold on you. Your friend is right. She's playing mind games. She may or may not be conscious of it, but that's just how it goes with young women. Don't agonize over it. Don't waste time trying to figure out what she's thinking, because chances are she doesn't even know herself. It's a giant waste of time that just messes with your confidence. You can ruminate on it for years and never reach an answer. It does suck and hurt to be treated like that, but it's a really bad idea to dwell on it.

Angus McGyver · Nov 26, 2019

Just like @deepspace, I can't answer all of your questions right now but it is great that you have come to the realization of pornography's harmful effects at such an early age. Because, back in the day when I got hooked to it (around 2002), there was not much material or tools about the harmful effects of PMO out there. Hence, in my case, it took me 14-15 years to completely cut PMO out of my life as it started to go even more downhill towards my late 20's.
Although I have been completely PMO-free for over 21 months at this point, so many of the images and videos I have seen over those years are still left in my long-term memory and not until recent months have they finally started to fade away slowly. That gives you a figure of how hard of a grip that poison can have on your mind, body and soul.

Regarding that girl in your class, she seems to be like many girls/women are these days. She is probably playing mind-games with you, trying to use her SMV in order to get any man where she wants as she is currently having that power. The best thing is not to dwell about it because as a man, your great times lie ahead of you as you get older and more established in life, especially when you're past 30-35 years of age as your SMV is on the rise while hers will be on a sharp decline right on the day she turns 30.
Being almost 32 years of age now, I can tell that your teens and 20's do really suck when you're a man (most of the time at least) but will get much better in your 30's for sure. You will have way more young women showing their interest as you get older and that's your time to pick someone really good. If you do settle in your 20's already, you are more likely to settle for something mediocre like so many of my friends have, simply because they were too impatient, desperate and lazy for any kind of demanding self-improvement.

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Brain wired to porn due to years of use

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deepspace Fapstronaut

Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

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