ATTENTION TO SEX WITHOUT LOVE

For me, sex without love does not worth it, people today do not date seriously, it's just a superficial thing to post on Facebook, and sex is now the only thing people want, I think this is bad. I'm a teenager and I don't want to have sex all the time and also I think the culture of our society makes us think that all these things like: parties at midnight or sex with lots of people are good but it's not. I saw in the past porn of these things, and when I completed the masturbations I felt so much bad, like a existence crisis. Existence crisis, ungratefulness, sadness and depression + anxiety is the problems that these things can do for us.

Please, don't do it anymore, focus on a girl that you love (and have sure that she loves you), porn teach me this, but it clearly do not worth it, because now I'm addicted and I don't even date to know these things, so that's useless for now to me.

 

Yes, but it's hang in there now and feel good in the future, or don't hang in there now and feel regret in the future, I choose the first option, we need to be rational and patient with us, we are addicts (at least me), so take care friend.

 

When I'm having sex, as u said, without feelings, I don't feel energy lose. At least compared to the masturbation even without porn. Hormones involved is different, I guess. Does it worth it? I guess it's like play video games, or go to the restaurant, it's just something for the rest and pleasure, I don't see the reason to overthink it. In some situations it's better to do sex, in some maybe not.

 

To me sex without a feelings was REALLY bad. How you rationalize giving THE BEST from you to someone who doesnt give a damn about you?

I realized this very soon and ended the "relationship".

Her reply was

"OK"

That was it.

This teached me a lot! Think about it.

 

Sex can and should be meaningful and wonderful So you are right, it's no good to chase after sex without committed emotional intimacy, without a sense of generosity for the other. Generosity is helpful, taking/using is not. Sex is made to be a splendid expression of deep intimacy, beyond just the sensation.

Like all actions we do with our body, it communicates something because of body language. What sex really should say is "I love you, all of you, only you, forever; and I am willing/eager to have children with you". Sex means this because there is no way to be more physically intimate with someone, and so to share each others' WHOLE bodies is representative of sharing each others' WHOLE lives, uniting exclusively, with deep love that welcomes children if they come along. If that is not what we mean in our hearts when we are having sex, then our actions aren't honest. But we can leave the past in the past, let ourselves be healed, and keep trying to live with integrity.

The urges are strong though, because we are made for love. Our urges are actually for true love, but the overly-sexualised culture we grow up in makes us think the urges are just about physical pleasure and so it's OK to have sex with anyone. Let us not believe that! Let's remember that we are made for true love, that our urges can help us to gift ourselves to our beloved when it is truly right, after patience and discernment and commitment. Love waits. We need the help of others to wait well. Keep up the good work!