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Trapped in a cycle...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Redcoat86, Mar 16, 2020.

  1. Redcoat86

    Redcoat86 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I am a 25 year old single male and I have been trying to curtail my P and M habits for just over a year. I attend SAA meetings, as well as NA meetings. I have managed to accrue 3 years clean time in NA but really struggling with P and M.

    Between November 2019 and December 2019 I managed 45 days with no PMO. I then slipped on P and M and I have since struggled to attain more than 10 days without PMO. I am looking to achieve a total cessation of porn use and to get 30 days without M.

    I am quite despairing about this cycle that I feel trapped in; all advice and encouragement is hugely welcome!
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2020
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Hi friend. we're all here for that reason: to stop the pmo cycle...
    the best thing that you can do right now is first: dont be so hard on yourself, no matter how many times you failed. relapses are part of the process and may accure a few times along the way so dont take them too hard.
    start read and explore about how PM effect your brain here, start a journal and engage and support others on the forums here.
     
    ANewFocus and Redcoat86 like this.
  3. canadianboy23

    canadianboy23 Fapstronaut

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    I found that not looking at instagram models/sexual videos on youtube/etc. helps keep your mind off of P and more on women IRL. If you haven't already started to workout, and take cold showers, you should do so. Workout frequency should be based on how busy your life is. If your super busy, do a 3x full body per week, and if you have more time, do push pull legs 6x per week. Do not be too down on yourself. Remember how you feel after watching P, and use that as motivation to never do it again
     
    ANewFocus and Redcoat86 like this.
  4. Redcoat86

    Redcoat86 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I am on day 2 with no PMO. I am also currently self-isolating consequent to the coronavirus; I need this support now more than ever! Thank you Baowistop and candadianboy23 for your kind words, they have really helped me.
     
    Deleted Account and Baowistop like this.
  5. Jeremi

    Jeremi Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    I am on day 96 of Nofap. I was beaten up by this vicious cycle so hard that I will never forget it as long as I lived. Have urges, look for a way to release tension, do it, feel bad, hit rock bottom and you got it. The recipe to a never-ending life of waste, no accomplishment. I remind myself of it whenever I feel depressed, angry. The biggest benefit of going this far is the clarity in mind. You use your urges to think, reason and see through the befogged mind. Nothing big happens at day 90 but I would not want to trade my clarity for any of this 5-second of pleasure and go back to that cycle. If you fail, you already know the result. So why keep doing that?
     
    Redcoat86 and Fishn1 like this.
  6. Redcoat86

    Redcoat86 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all,

    I am on day 6 and feeling some urges. I am trying to keep busy and away from technology as much as possible, ring friends in recovery and meditate. This site has helped me a lot and I welcome any feedback!
     
    Baowistop likes this.
  7. Good for you for staying strong mate!
    Keep yourself busy and as time goes by, you will find coming back to porn a bit less fun and more repulsing...
     
    Redcoat86 likes this.
  8. Redcoat86

    Redcoat86 Fapstronaut

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    Hi guys,

    Had a slip on Twitter. Managed to find even more blocks to prevent this from happening in future. Feeling a bit annoyed with myself and really frustrated that I have kept myself in the 7-10 day relapse cycle...for now.
     
  9. Strugglingforyears

    Strugglingforyears Fapstronaut

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    The best is to stay away from all social media. I deleted all mine. Now I only communicate with family and close friends via Whatsapp or text. Social media is full of triggers and sites like Twitter is full of porn. The best is to stay away and focus on the important and real relationships in your life. You can do that without social media. This is not easy when society tells us social media is essential. But this is now the time to focus on what is really important to you. You will soon see that you have lost nothing but gained a lot.
     
    Redcoat86 likes this.
  10. I don't know about Twitter but on facebook you can manage the profiles and pages you follow. So maybe you can take a look and eliminate any triggering-content pages.
    From my experience, everytime i blocked a site, in the rage of the urge i disabled it and fapped...
    @Redcoat86 What exactly happen on Twitter?
     
    Redcoat86 likes this.
  11. Redcoat86

    Redcoat86 Fapstronaut

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    Hi @Baowistop , thanks for your message. I managed to download it on the App Store on my Mac. I search for things like tattoos, which invariably leads to me looking at explicit images of women; there is a lot of porn on Twitter. I have since disabled that app, although still have the opportunity to download Instagram off the App Store, so figuring out ways of totally disabling it.
     
    Baowistop likes this.

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