Why i feel anxcious , unconfident, unhappy, dull? Pls help

You haven't given anywhere enough information in your post, @Rexbrent.

What's the problem? Are you addicted to porn and masturbation, or to anything else? How long have you felt depressed? Have you spoken to your doctor, and if so, what were you advised? What have you already tried? What's your life situation? What started these feelings in the first place?

Help us to help you.

 

I'm convinced that You can do a lot with Your live

Can You rest from PMO for some time? Do you really want to make some changes in Your behaviours and in Your style of living? If YES, you can find some tips here - the most important on start time is to assess Your motivation, and block P on your computer and mobiles. Then You'll find what next on this site ^^

Good Luck!

 

@Rexbrent , you've managed 50 days with just four relapses. I'd say that you've done pretty well.

The most important thing is to cut out porn completely. I mean, really completely. It's porn that's making you sexually obsessed, and seeing women as just sexual objects. It's porn that has done the worst damage to you. So…

Please do everything that you can to avoid all porn now and forever. You will always be a slave if you keep using porn.

The next important thing is to complete a 90-day hard mode. Why? Because once you have done that, two things will happen. First, your brain will be well on its way to healing. Second, you will have discovered that you have the discipline to do this! If you can do this, what else can you do in life?

It's also important to understand why you feel like this. Given how bad your black dog is, I'm sure that you have multiple causes. One of them is your addiction. You see, an addiction always happens for a reason. Then, the addiction makes things worse, and adds new problems!

So, your problems are not only from the addiction. You have other problems, some newer than the addiction and some older. When you go clean, as you're doing now, some of the newer problems will go away.

But…

Because people use addictions to hide their problems, they don't learn how to recognise them or how to deal with them. This means that as you come off your addiction, the older problems become visible — but you don't know how to deal with them.

This leads to your depression. You have all these problems, you're not hiding from them, and you don't know what to do with them! It feels hopeless, doesn't it? (Hint: It's not hopeless.)

Let me help you a little. I'm not a doctor, so you might want to share your problems with your doctor, but here are some ideas.

Find therapy. Your doctor can give you suggestions. I don't know where you live or what your budget is like, so here is a list of therapies that I've picked up over time. I've used most of them.

• CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)
• Clinical psychology
• Counselling
• Craniosacral therapy
• EFT (emotional freedom technique)
• Energy medicine
• Hypnotherapy
• Indian head massage
• Massage therapy (by a professional, not a prostitute!)
• Matrix reimprinting
• Meditation
• Mindfulness
• Network spinal analysis
• NLP (neuro-linguistic programming)
• Reflexology
• Reiki
• Systemic constellations
• Tai chi
• Yoga

Some are expensive; some are cheap; and if your budget is very tight, some of them are available free (search YouTube for yoga, mindfulness and EFT, for example — but of course a professional is always better than free).

You will find that some therapies hardly do anything for you. Some work quite well. One or two will work very well. Because every person is different, it's impossible to predict which ones will work best for you now, or which ones will work best for you in five years! Experiment and find what works best for you. That can change over time.

Educate yourself. Learn about porn addiction. I recommend articles and videos from this site's Porn Addiction, YBOP's Start Here, learning about PAWS (you might have some symptoms of that), and the so-called Ultimate Guide to overcoming porn addiction.

If you have any other addictions — tobacco, alcohol, cannabis, overeating, and so on — realise that the causes behind them are pretty much the same as the causes behind porn addiction. Learning about porn addiction and getting free of it will help with your other addictions (if you have any).

Become active.

Any sort of exercise helps. It can be a walk or run, or an exercise plan, a sport, hiking, whatever. Of course, with the corona virus, things are hard at the moment, but do the best that you can.

Join a club (after the virus situation is under control). The club could be a sport like badminton or playing darts or table tennis. It could be a hobby such as chess, a book club, or stamp collecting.

Or, if you prefer a solitary activity, try any type of art or other creative work. It doesn't matter whether you're good or bad at it — that's not the point!

Puzzles are excellent when you have depression. I don't remember the technical reasons, but puzzles temporarily deactivate the part of your brain that causes depression. You can choose from crosswords, kakuro, sudoku, a book of miscellaneous puzzles, etc., whatever you prefer.

Lastly, know that this is beatable. If you give up, you'll throw away a life that is perfectly salvageable. Yes, you can beat it — millions of others have gone through what you're going through and beaten it.

Good luck, and post often!

 

Well done!

That is correct. It's more complicated than that, but yes.

Didn't you read my post?

You need both time and therapy. Read my last post.

 

I would highly suggest trying to cut out PMO completely for at least 3 months to see what that does.

 

Dont seat alone at home or anywhere if ur mind think about porn at that time go outside the home and try to observe the nature and people this thing helps ur mind to be in present movement nd try to read books to overcome ur anxiety

 

Good advice, but hard during the coronavirus outbreak!

 

Try to read books at home or do yoga in morning

 

As i said, 50 days is really not enough for some of us with a porn addiction. We really need to do 3 months + as a starter.

 

@Rexbrent , be patient. Wait until you've passed the three-month mark.

Once you are there, then let's start looking at other aspects of your problems.

Can you do a course of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)? It sounds as though you are not controlling your thoughts, and CBT can help with that.