Can you ever find a pmo balance?

Jonny Shuffles · Apr 4, 2020

Hi, new to the forum. Just want to ask a question that i havent seen elsewhere.

For background im mid 30s, and have been pmo since my teens, at my peak >10 times / day. Over the past 12 months ive probably spent more than 10 hours a week pmo, and if i include the times i pend checking p sites that increases to probably more than 15 hours a week.

One big difference between me and a fair few other posts here is that ive never felt shame or disappointment after pmo. Its something ive loved doing and enjoy greatly.

Taking on nofap (currently day 16) for two reasons:
First, To help my marriage, especially as we want kids and so need to get to a healthy physical sex life again.
Second is the productivity gains, when i take time off i just feel like i have the mental headspace to focus and the time available to get in to stuff i endlessly procrastinate on.

I guess my main question is this... are there people who have successfully done nofap, come out the other side and broken the addiction, and then managed to bring pmo back in to their life in a balanced level?

Pmo isnt something i want to stop completely, i just want it to stop having a negative impact on my life.

Green Monstah · Apr 4, 2020

Hi Jonny,

Great question! You asked a legitimate question and a lot of use are wondering the same thing.

The short answer is, for those of us on NoFap, probably not.

The long answer is...

I am someone who PMO'd twice a day, everyday (early morning AND late night), for 8 years (ages 18-26). When I first started NoFap, my goal was to reduce the frequency of the PMO sessions. However, I never ever made this happen. At first, I was able to get by with a once in a while session. But soon enough, the "once in a while" sessions quickly became once a week, twice a week, once a day, and right back into twice a day. I realized that I had no choice but to go cold turkey. I mean urges were HIGH and I was sweating bullets, getting chills, and shaking at the thought of getting a little "taste" to take the edge off...

Since then, I decided I have no choice but to go PMO free. I have relapsed, and probably will again, but at least it isn't 2xPMO/day/every day. But if I let my guard down for a "once in a while" session, it can lead right back into my old ways. Therefore, it is best I stay away.

I do know people who PMO every once in a while, who don't consider themselves to be addicts... all I know is that as someone who was a 2xPMO/day/every guy, there is just NO WAY I can ever PMO "even once in a while".

I REALLY WISH we can talk openly about PMO addition like drugs and alcohol, but the reality is, people don't understand... either that or they pretend they never PMO'd in their lives (lol, but I digress...)

To me, PMO was my drug of choice. I feel it is the equivalent of drugs/alcohol addition. There just NO WAY I can ever PMO "only once in a while". I have to stay away as much as I can.

It is your decision. I can only tell you why I and many people here are unable to allow ourselves to PMO "once in a while", aka we are simply not able to control ourselves. I will not judge you for what you end up doing, but I do think you need to make an informed decision on this. Evaluate it, all things considered.

Good luck to you! Thank you for the post!

Jonny Shuffles · Apr 4, 2020

Green Monstah said: ↑

Hi Jonny,

Great question! You asked a legitimate question and a lot of use are wondering the same thing.

The short answer is, for those of us on NoFap, probably not.

The long answer is...

I am someone who PMO'd twice a day, everyday (early morning AND late night), for 8 years (ages 18-26). When I first started NoFap, my goal was to reduce the frequency of the PMO sessions. However, I never ever made this happen. At first, I was able to get by with a once in a while session. But soon enough, the "once in a while" sessions quickly became once a week, twice a week, once a day, and right back into twice a day. I realized that I had no choice but to go cold turkey. I mean urges were HIGH and I was sweating bullets, getting chills, and shaking at the thought of getting a little "taste" to take the edge off...

Since then, I decided I have no choice but to go PMO free. I have relapsed, and probably will again, but at least it isn't 2xPMO/day/every day. But if I let my guard down for a "once in a while" session, it can lead right back into my old ways. Therefore, it is best I stay away.

I do know people who PMO every once in a while, who don't consider themselves to be addicts... all I know is that as someone who was a 2xPMO/day/every guy, there is just NO WAY I can ever PMO "even once in a while".

I REALLY WISH we can talk openly about PMO addition like drugs and alcohol, but the reality is, people don't understand... either that or they pretend they never PMO'd in their lives (lol, but I digress...)

To me, PMO was my drug of choice. I feel it is the equivalent of drugs/alcohol addition. There just NO WAY I can ever PMO "only once in a while". I have to stay away as much as I can.

It is your decision. I can only tell you why I and many people here are unable to allow ourselves to PMO "once in a while", aka we are simply not able to control ourselves. I will not judge you for what you end up doing, but I do think you need to make an informed decision on this. Evaluate it, all things considered.

Good luck to you! Thank you for the post!
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Can you ever find a pmo balance?

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