I’ve found recently my mind going to a thought that I’m missing ‘the goods’ in not looking at porn. I feel like I’m missing out on all the beautiful women. How do you all deal with that irrational thought pattern? How do you deal with it physically? I know it’s a lie my brain is telling me to get a bit of happy feelings but afterwards, I feel like crap. That starts the cycle again.
The two ways I dealt with this thought, especially when it felt overwhelming was to Own it. These forums sometimes feel full of men proclaiming how over porn they are. If that were true we would not be here. For me, in my journal, honesty was key. Write about what you are really feeling, not what you want people to think you are feeling. Write it here. Once I'd written down my darker desires they lost some of their immediate potency. That was partly because friends here would post supporting (or challenging) responses, and partly because writing it down here allowed me to distance myself from those feelings by 'going meta' You've already done both of those. Has it helped you as it did me?
Thanks for your response kropo82. It helped a little bit. I'm re-reading a book by Jay Stringer called Unwanted. He says, "Sexual failures, internet searches, and browser histories expose our sin, but far more, they are road maps." Since I read that initially, I didn't really take that to heart. I'm now looking back at the things I consumed and asking God to expose the road map of why I lusted after certain things. I've never prayed that. I've never asked Him to help me understand my lust so I can battle it. It starts with accountability and honesty. I've rekindled things in my heart and checked in with my group this morning. Watched some videos on overcoming the addiction by Ted Roberts. And am now working on my computer in the living room with Covenant Eyes running. So far, it's been a good fight!
