I was wondering how can I increase my confidence with girls? Ever since I started Nofap, there were great tips and suggestions on this topic so thank you all. I wish I can have a girlfriend in the future, but due to very personal reasons, I don't want one as of now. My confidence in girls has improved over the years, but how do I go further (not looking for a relationship)? I went from being a loser who was a high school dropout and now I'm a college student plus I have a job. Besides being shy, one of my biggest advantages that I have over girls is my humor. Most of them laugh at my jokes and how I use my dry humor and many find me likable once I approach them which is hard to do. I don't want a relationship as of now, but how do I break the ice even further? I would like to make more female friends this year; there is an Asian girl at my college who I think is cool, but I only have her on Facebook. Any tips on becoming her friend? Remember, I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now, I just want to interact with them more.
..'.one of my biggest advantages that I have over girls is my humor.' I hope that was simply worded poorly. I am sure it was. You surely didn't mean you are trying to 'gain the upperhand', exert power over, manipulate, and basically turn into a fake asshole just for the sake of feeling like you have control over women. I think it was an accident the way you worded that segment due to possibly English being your 2nd language? Anyways if you want to interact with females more, then do just that. It's not rocket science. Honestly I would focus on becoming better socially all around with people regardless of gender. People with high social ability are way more attractive to the opposite gender. If you view the girls you interact with as unique individuals and treat them as people instead of some 'foreign being whom must be dealt with in a special manner if one is to gain their attraction' wierdo mindset, chances are that if you take care of your appearance and health, have self confidence, and are kind and funny then a girl will naturally be attracted to you if she digs you. I suppose high testosterone, charm, and taking initiative just elevates things to the romance level quite naturally and you don't really need to think about it, it is built into us, the way of nature, male and female are drawn to each other. Fully realize your masculinity and you won't be asking these types of questions. Increase being comfortable in your own skin around everyone and confidence with anyone including girls you are attracted to becomes part of your nature. Sorry I didn't answer your question, that's just my 2 cents.
Stop TRYING to get girls. They hate neediness. You post a thread like this every month, man. Have you honestly gotten any better since your last relationship question thread? Getting girls isn't some magic pill. It's hard work, patience and relentless drive. You can do all the hocus-pocus pick-up you want. But at the end of the day, if you're still living at home and depending on others and financially dependent, women are gonna be turned off. Get something going in your life first. THEN focus on chicks.
If you guys were in my shoes, then maybe you'd understand. I've had a crappy childhood where most of my low self-esteem came from. I was treated like shit by my dad who would beat me up everyday and verbally abuse me until my early teens. I've never had any confidence in myself up until now. I live in a place with no diversity, I see people in relationships all the time and honestly I'm getting sick of it. I admit it, I live with my parents, have a low paying job, but at least I'm finishing my college degree. But that's not enough. Girls have always troubled me my whole life and I just want to know what's it like to be loved by a woman. Is that too much to ask? It's just so difficult. Imagine approaching your late twenties and watching everybody you know have a a relationship. They have everything I don't have. I feel jealous sometimes. I've worked hard all my fucking life. I made it to college after dropping out of high school, got into the honor society, did numerous activities to boost my social skills and all around confidence, but I just don't feel like I'm doing enough. I don't feel happy and I've always felt that a girlfriend could solve some of my problems. It's not that easy to just "be patient." I've been patient and worked my ass off my whole fucking life. Indeed, I'm much better off then before, but honestly, you guys don't know where I'm coming from. And the only reason why I'm posting these threads is to find someone who knows exactly what I'm talking about. I want them to feel the frustration that I feel. And trying to chase the one thing they feel that was missing all this time. I really appreciate the constructive criticism and I'm sorry for going off like this, but this is the only place where I can blow off some steam. I have everything; a family, friends, a home, etc. But if I had a girlfriend my life would be more complete because everybody else seems to have one. I've waited long enough and to simply not focus on girls isn't easy. I bet both of you would want a girlfriend. Who wants to be lonely? And if you were in a position to get one wouldn't you take that opportunity? Like I said, I'm a college student about to complete dual majors and high honors and after I graduate and get a better job I'll be ready for her. I'll finally get what I deserve because I know I worked hard for it.
Hi Namekian, To be honest I don't think you should wait. This will probably sound like a rethorical question, but what are you actually doing today to get what you want? You keep repeating that you are "patient" and that you "work hard", but be honest with yourself for just a second and realize that you are just looking for excuses to avoid doing anything now. You want a girlfriend? Approach girls, date them, enjoy yourself, and see where the relationships lead you. The more you focus on how much you think you're worth, the more frustrated you will end up.
And another thing @Progressive Death Mettle I'll take your advice and I'll try not to post these retarded threads again. I'm just here to get some advice that's it. Did I say I wanted to be with this Asian girl? No. I just want to know her more because in the fall, it will be my last semester of college. She's friendly, nice, and she seems like a good girl. She has me on Facebook and I've even talked to her one on one. We had a good time. But as of now, I'll focus on more important things like I just mentioned. And @transmute maybe English is my second language because after all, I am Vietnamese just like the girl at my college. Trust me, there's not a lot of Asian girls from where I'm from. Subconsciously, what I said might have slipped out wrong, but believe me, I will never manipulate, control, or dominate women. I've met countless of other females in my life and I've heard of horrible stories of them being abused by their spouse or boyfriend. These guys aren't men, they're cowards and should be regarded as animals who have no respect for themselves or anyone else! And I'm not one of them. Like I said, I appreciate some of your comments, but don't assume something until you have all the facts. Let me give you guys an example, I used to know a girl who had a shitty life growing up. Her relationship with her father was horrible. He was a drug addict who ended up in jail. He even tried to kill her as a child! Of course, her mother and brother had to leave him behind and head to America. All her life, all she wanted was a guy who could take care of her and respect her because she never had the love of a father and her relationship with her mother was shitty enough as it is. But guess what, every guy refused to be with her because she was needy just like me. Not only that, all they wanted to do was to have sex with her. How fucked up was that? Do you know how frustrating that is? I feel so sorry for her and to this day, she has not found the right man. Would you tell her to just be patient and work hard like all of us? It's not that easy man. This girl was in pain and she's probably the only person who I can relate with. And anyone who wants to say anything else go ahead. I'm done.
You got yourself quite a bad self-image don't ya? If you want to change that you need to answer with NO. Your self-image is not something someone else makes for you. You sir, you decide who you are. You know there are people that lived with the same situation you lived with but they grew stronger because of it. Wasn't Marshall Mathers not a kid that got abused with valium, got beat up, bullied and all those things? You are the choice you make my friend. Only you determine your identity. 80% of the people don't care about your problems, and 20% is glad as you. (That's a joke I heard from Less Brown) I got you a link and would like you to look at it, understand it and go live by it. We are all the same. http://www.kdtcompany.com/training-...g-tools-and-ingredients/definitions/ir-theory COLD SHOWER!!
I get your point man. But just know this, sometimes the people who have the most problems tend to be the most successful. I had to deal with a lot things since I was a kid. Family responsibilities, being the oldest son, having bipolar disorder, and among other things. But I still rose from the bottom to the top have I not?Ten years ago I was a completely different person. Even though I'm hard on myself now because of all the shit I've been through it only motivates me more. How often do you see high school dropouts achieve what I achieved? Not many. I'm the definition of hard work and patience. I know I'm a hard worker, a good student, and so on. But the one thing I want to get better at is interacting with girls and I'm doing it. All because of this website. I can't even list all of the accomplishments I've achieved. Can you? I'm only growing more and more and it will only be a matter of time before I get what I want. Not only that I will set an example for other people and every single person who has ever come across me wrong. That's what I do; I prove people wrong and I'm good at it. Don't you guys ever underestimate me because you have no idea what I'm capable of. And if I can't get some simple advice then so be it. I can do just about anything I set my mind and my accomplishments proves it. Thanks for the link man but I think I'll be all set.
Hi Namekian! I think you already have everything you need to approach and get to know girls it just takes a little bit of courage at this point. You have already had girls as friends and you already know a girl in your school so you are already doing well. The best thing to do is to focus on the positive and be grateful for what is going right for you right now. You listed a LOT of really great accomplishments so you should feel very proud of the work you have done. Any girl would be happy to be your friends I am sure. Are you involved in any social clubs at college? Do you volunteer in your community at all? This is a great place to interact with women and get to know them as friends. It can be quite daunting to approach a woman on the street or in a cafe so meeting them in a neutral setting, like a social activity or sport is a good idea. A lot of my guy friends play co-ed sports solely to meet girls and my one friend met his wife at co-ed soccer. (Co-ed means both men and women play on the same team in case you don't know). Anyway get out and get social, focus on the positive and everything will fall into place
Hey Namekian you can use Davidian techniques to get any girl you want. Before you are with any gurl or before she even considers you to be man material you need to build attraction. Make her attracted to you. How? Be the man that she will want...be confident, even though you doubt your humour be confident. Let your life speak like you have a sense of direction. Ladies like organized men. Avoid the needy facade, many beautiful ladies hang arnd with jerks or bad boys because of their confident, no- nonsense demeanour. I suggest you adopt the same. Practise practise practise. Communicate sexually to a woman. Women can easily communicate this way. Men were plagued at a certain level in the evolutionary chain. I believe it is tricky to just be friends with a beautiful girl esp if u have other deeper intentions. Ships are safer at the docks. But they weren't designed to stay at the docks man. They were designed for the rough seas
Thanks you guys for all the comments which were both encouraging and critically constructive. I appreciate your thoughts and different points of views. @Limeaid ever since I joined this wonderful support group my views on women have changed and that I need to focus on myself before I get any girl. I'm doing things I've never done before and my confidence around girls rose substantially. I really need to put girls aside and focus on my schooling and finding a better job. But it wouldn't hurt interacting with girls more since it's my last semester of college, but I'll always focus more on the important things. Thanks you guys for your encouragement and advice.
