24 Minutes

Hello all,
In 24 minutes I will have completed my first day free of porn in a while.
I'm new to the community here and wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 35 year old American male. I started masturbating to pornography around the age of 12. There were many factors leading to my porn addiction, a number of ill effects from my behavior, and essentially, one reason why Im here attempting to change.

I started the whole porn, masturbation habit primarily as an escape from the train wreck of my own life. I had just started a new school and was experiencing alot of bullying. My home life was abusive. I was also becoming interested in girls, but because I was socially awkward and isolated, I wasn't able to talk to girls and find an appropriate sexual outlet. All this led me to long hours in front of a screen.

As the years went by, I became more and more isolated. I spent more time with porn than with people and eventually, friends and acquaintances abandoned me. I've lost jobs because this addiction has taken up my time, changed my behavior, and caused serious health problems.

What started with an hour or so of porn and masturbation eventually evolved in to up to twelve hours a day of edging and multiple orgasms. I have at times gone days without eating. Sometimes a whole day without drinking. I've had alot of stomach upset...even to the point of having to have my gall bladder removed. I've suffered hair loss, reduced visual acuity (astigmatism due to long hours staring at a screen), and even cancer in the form of lymphoma. I know some of these conditions are age and hereditary related; however, I believe that most, if not all, are a consequence of the years of abusing my body with porn, excessive masturbation, and the resulting malnutrition and chemistry changes.

All of which leads me to the one reason I'm here. I don't want to lose anymore of myself to this addiction. I don't want to lose my health, relationships, jobs, or time to the filth of pornography. It destroys lives. The lives of those who produce it and the lives of those who consume it. I want my life back. I don't know what kind of recovery is possible for me at this point; however, I believe that any day that doesn't have pornography in it is better than a day in which even one second is lost to this addiction.

Thanks for reading my intro. I'd be interest in learning and sharing with others and I truly want the best for everyone involved in this journey. We are better off without pornography in our lives.