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Newbie joining the cause

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Stan Evans, May 28, 2015.

  1. May 28, 2015 #1
    Stan Evans

    Stan Evans Fapstronaut

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    Hello all,

    I'm a 30's male who's trying to pump the brakes on the fap. I recently went an entire month, my longest record for going without, but things happen. The reason why I'd like to give it up is that I've lived with roving major depression/anxiety for the last 20 yrs. I notice when I don't fap, I feel more clear headed and just all around better. But every once in awhile temptation rolls along and I end up feeling depressed and pretty lousy a day or so after the deed. I'm going to try and start over again with this, nf, and see how it goes. Came to the site because I'd basically like to kick the habit for awhile and wanted to see if I could learn a tactic or 2 to stay the course.

    A little back story...

    I basically grew up in the midst of temptation. My older cousin worked at a video store when I was about 12. I'd go over to hang out and help out at times since the place was close. This store happened to have a large AV section. And from time to time I was asked to help label, tag, or organize the vids or cases in back. My cousin didn't mind and the owner didn't care either. They would say, "Just try not to look at the boxes." Lol. Anyway, as time went on I eventually started borrowing, aka stuffing a vid or two into my backpack to watch later that night, and coyly re-shelving the tapes the next morning when I went in with my cousin to re-open and help out the next morning. No one ever knew they had been borrowed. Kids would often come in to try and get looks at the boxes and shortly after get shooed out. I had been in the unique position however, to watch them at will most times. That would prob'ly be the start for me.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2015
    Stan Evans, May 28, 2015
    Stan Evans, May 28, 2015
    #1
  2. May 31, 2015 #2
    thebishone

    thebishone Fapstronaut

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    Man sometimes life puts us in situations like yours, and it just sucks. You think, "Well maybe if I hadn't been in that situation, I wouldn't have this addiction!" Maybe that is true, but life is just testing you. This is a situation where you have to realize what happened, accept it, and just learn from it!
     
    thebishone, May 31, 2015
    thebishone, May 31, 2015
    #2
    powerd992 likes this.
  3. May 31, 2015 #3
    powerd992

    powerd992 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I'm really curious to know what happens in the mind of a kid when he stumbles across some porn... I was about 10 when I noticed a porn comic book and started reading it at my grandpa's. At first, I remember the arousal I felt, especially at the stomach. After some months of reading it (me and my family used to come there once a week) I started noticing that the pleasant sensation at my stomach started to disappear.
    Three years later, I had my first orgasm during masturbation, and it hurt a bit (I was under the shower). But was also pleasant. I remember also enjoying being there, in Austria, with my family.
    And I remember that less than six months later, when I was quite into masturbation, I had to use erotic pictures, otherwise I had the feeling I was just "wasting time", since the habit wasn't that enjoyable any longer.
    How I wish I could start all over again and never masturbate..: But I suppose since we're here we can actually "come back" to our happy younger days and feel real childish excitement, by giving up PMO. ;)
     
    powerd992, May 31, 2015
    powerd992, May 31, 2015
    #3
  4. Jun 5, 2015 #4
    Stan Evans

    Stan Evans Fapstronaut

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    Ya, this is just one activity that always severely leaves me in the lurch. For a person who already has on-going depression anxiety here and there, this does not help. It's one of those things too; guys are gonna do what they're gonna do, but being a kid with free access to a video store inventory probably gave me a bit of an early start.
     
    Stan Evans, Jun 5, 2015
    Stan Evans, Jun 5, 2015
    #4

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