Premature Ejaculation Fantasy?

Does anyone else here ever fantasise about having PE?

I know it sounds nuts, and most guys wish they could avoid it, but does anyone ever have fantasies about it?

I think it's an offshoot of my cuckold and SPH fantasies. I got so deep into this genre that I would fantasise about being flat out rejected for having a small penis. I watched enough SPH videos to find ones where the gorgeous pornstar was laughing at a guy for having a small penis and for ejaculating too early. So my brilliant (addict) mind thinks - I already have a small penis, what could be more humiliating than to have that and PE??

This scares me. I've had PE with my current gf. Too quick a few times. I got so anxious that I ejaculated the moment I was inside of her. It was awful! I felt ashamed and I relapsed over it. PE has never felt good when it happens. I regret it for days after, sometimes years. So why do I fantasise about it?

This fantasy turns me on so much. I'm afraid that I will choose to PE with my girlfriend just once and that it might send me into a cycle where I can't stop it. But in my sick fantasy I think that's hot as I imagine myself simply incapable of satisfying her sexual needs.

I know it's messed up. I've been struggling with this for a long time. But I'm reaching out both for help and to see if others struggle with similar fantasies.

 

Thank you for your reply. It's great to hear that I am not alone with this fantasy!

I definitely think that NoFap can help with the fetish. If for no other reason that if I look at porn, I would surely look at humiliation porn and only feed into these fantasies that much more.

In reality I have not had PE most of the time. In fact, I can vividly recall all the times that I had PE and/or involuntary emissions, maybe a dozen in total. For me it's mostly fuelled by fear of PE and anxiety. I can usually refrain from ejaculation through mental control. The challenge is that my addict mind / fantasy tempts me to relax that mental control.

Very well said. My fantasy is to have an extremely sexy young woman (aka a porn star) laughing at me for being inadequate (or better yet, a group of young women) . . . the reality is disappointing my girlfriend, feeling humiliated and her being concerned about me.

 

I think I get that. I struggled with PE as a teenager (not that I was having a lot of sex, I was having accidents, like while doing sports) and I think that excessive masturbation helped me desensitise it so much that it wasn't an issue for many years . . . instead I had weak erections and could not have an orgasm without masturbation

Also, I have a small penis and developed a small penis humiliation fantasy. Maybe I thought that "embracing" my small penis would help me to become okay with it. In reality I wished that it was even smaller (and somehow it actually did get smaller!) and to this day I still have powerful cravings that women will find out that I have a small penis and tease me about it. Just an LOL can send me over the edge into a relapse!

Very well said. I do believe that my PE fetish could actually give me PE and my SPH fetish somehow made my penis even smaller. As hard as it is sometimes, I have not taken many of the actions that would engage these fetishes . . I don't spend hours wondering how I could "let it slip" to the women in a class or at work that I struggle with PE and have a small penis. It's been incredibly hard, but I have not brought up the SPH fantasy with my girlfriend, and I have not had PE with her in many months now.

I still have urges (crazy urges sometimes!) but I do feel better about myself because of the choices that I have been making.