What would women like to know more about men? What would men like to know more about women?

I think that comes from back in the day when womens sexuality were being neglected. Its not that far ago when women in EU weren't allowed to talk about sex and express their feelings etc.

Women are and have always been as "horny" as men. Or even hornier. They've just never been allowed to express that.

You know still today its not uncommon that men don't know what clitoris is, how it looks and that its the only human organ designed only for pleasure (as far as scientists know today). I mean, that gotta speak for something

 

One of Corey Wayne's credos is, the phone is only for making dates. He says the longer you carry on with a woman you like over text, phone calls or even video, vs being physically in her presence, the lower your chances. That basically female attraction is based on her perception and response to your masculine energy, which doesn't translate over the phone but only in person. He says that relationships over the phone are how women relate to other women and that as a man it's your responsibility to set up an in person interaction with her as soon as possible and see where it goes from there.

I realize with the pandemic you may not currently be in a place where that's possible, and there are probably a lot of women who won't be comfortable being in close proximity to a man they've never met for some time yet to come (thank you COVID for fucking up everything). But Mr. Wayne's track record, both as a life coach and with women, is pretty damn impressive and I think his points have merit. I wish I would have had access to his advice 30 yrs ago.

 

If it was true about women having as high/if not higher sex drive than men then why is it that women probably only account for about 0.01% of those that pay for sex?. Why are there thousands of men for every one woman when it comes to porn addiction? Why do males massively outnumber females on dating sites? Why are men much more willing to go below their "standards" to have sex whilst a woman would rarely do so?

Of course there will be outliers but generally speaking, men have a much higher sex drive than women ...

 

It’s easier for women to get sex free. I would never pay a stranger or have sex with a stranger because of fear. I would never try a dating site, again, fear. Women must have a higher standard for sex based on the fact that we can get pregnant and left high and dry. Sex is not just about attraction to women, so they must be more selective. I don’t believe the disparity in male/female sex drive is as great as it seems. I think women have been told, taught, to be more careful. I think they must feel safe in order to be comfortable for sex. News flash if you’re using porn, it makes them feel unsafe even if they don’t know. They know you’re hiding something. Sex is just more complicated for many women. It puts us in a very vulnerable position. I think many men’s natural libido has been high jacked in the past 60 years with porn or sexually explicit material and the fact we have taught that lusting, masturbating, objectifying women is ok.

 

Also, hormones is a major factor! After 25 years and childbirth, women's sex drive declines apparently. Menopause, etc. Comes for them.

Men never stop wanting sex!!!

 

I agree with @Psalm27:1my light. This is a complex mixture of individual and societal issues.

I would say that it is easier for women to get sex for free and that the number of men who would pay for sex is actually very small.

I don't know about the proportion of women who are addicted to porn but I do know there is now a huge industry for sex toys aimed at women. I've heard multiple stories of women being unable to orgasm from sex due to overstimulation from toys. There were also record sales of books such as Fifty Shades.

I'd also say that the majority of P is still marketed towards men and there is more of a culture around young men using it, but I think it sadly might be becoming more prevalent amongst both genders.

 

Yes, I do agree with this! There is a lot that affects a women’s sex drive. Although, for sone women I hear menopause actually makes them want more sex? My drive has definitely diminished but I’m still up for every day if he wanted. However, my kids are grown, I’m not going to get pregnant, we have more time and less stress. So our life together is conducive to lots of sex, lol.

 

Every day is good! How is sex in your 50s? Curious, I'm 34 and my wife is 31...I obviously have higher sex drive!!!

 

I’d definitely say better, for one he’s been clean over a year which makes a huge difference. My kids are 21.20, 17 so We aren’t nearly as tired as when they were little. Plus they never interrupt us if we are in our bedroom. Less stress as my husband is getting ready to retire. We are both very physically active so we are healthy which can impact the quality of sex.

 

How about what women would like men to know about them and vice versa? After all people don't necessarily know what to ask or the questions they ask may be framed with certain assumptions and not really helpful as far as the other is concerned.

 

Good to hear! Hoping we keep our flame alive too, sounds great!

 

I thought society wanted men to be afraid for making the first move so that they’d try to impress women by financing a lifestyle they can’t afford.

 

hey....thank you for the post.

Why would you say you weren't sexually attracted to your husband? that doesnt make any sense...does being in love with someone make them sexually attractive? Am i missing something here?

I have never been in a relationship so your answer would be very helpful to me.

 

There just wasn’t any attraction. He was tall, 6 ft,I like short men around 5’7. He was skinny 145 pounds, I like muscular chunky guys. He has hazel eyes I like blue or grey or green. He is very light skinned I like dark skin. Lol complete opposite of what I find physically attractive. He was a friend and I dated 2 of his closest friends before he got the nerve up to ask me out. He was kind, considerate, super smart, and most of all he made me laugh. I’ve never met anyone with his sense of humor. I fell in love with him. I now think he’s one of the most attractive men I know. Course he’s 185 pounds and keeps physically fit. He looks about 10 years younger than he is. But I knew that physical attraction can/will fade with time or circumstances ie sickness, accidents, etc. So it was not a huge factor for me. I was waiting until marriage so didn’t really think sex would be a problem, and for me it wasn’t. Seriously, if you think that you’re going to be attracted to the same person for 40 years as you were when you first met, I think that’s crazy. I had guys I was crazy attracted to that the attraction faded after 6 months. So, for me, physical attraction was not important for consideration of a marriage partner. Since I believed “ til death do you part”. I felt there were far more important things to base our relationship on. I’m more logical than emotional though, especially for a female. I rarely make decisions based on emotion. I absolutely think being in love with someone makes them attractive. However, if you use porn you will never be satisfied with your partner and it will affect your relationship..

 

My new question is: do men and women in marriages or otherwise LTR have a responsibility to keep themselves as healthy, attractive and fit as possible for each other? I see so many women who were gorgeous when they got into a relationship and then 8-10 yrs down the road they've completely let themselves go. I know that is not a justification for their husband/bf to start or resume PMO but let's be honest, it can be a contributing factor. I also know, first hand, that injuries, illness, etc can take the decision out of a person's hands sometimes. And guys, we're not off the hook, I see plenty of us out there who achieved our "goal" and have since just quit trying on the physical aspect.

It seems to me if you really love and respect your partner you'll want to keep looking good for them... but for many couples that doesn't appear to be a priority over time.

@Psalm27:1my light I'm especially interested in your take. I know you and your husband have been married a long time but it sounds like you're still committed to showing up for each other in this regard. I think that's awesome and I'm curious if that's something you've always had in your marriage or is it something you grew into?

 

I think you have a responsibility to yourself to stay fit and healthy. I had some health issues for about 8 years that caused me to be very heavy. Doctors were literally no help in diagnosing what was wrong. Not only was I heavy, I was very angry and unhappy because I felt so horrible. On top of that, my husband had rejected me throughout our marriage so it added a layer of hopelessness. He didn’t want me when I was young and skinny and sure didn’t want me older and fat and no where in between, so the temptation was to just “ stay” where I was. About 5 years ago, I committed to myself to workout at a gym that was a CrossFit/group setting. In spite of the pain I felt every day, I went. 6 days a week. I followed a food plan they set up and I started feeling so much better. So, today, I’m healthier and more fit than when I was in my 20’s. But I did it for me, and my husband reaps the benefits. I’ll be honest, I stopped caring what my husband thought about my looks the minute I discovered that he looked at porn behind my back. Porn changes how you view your wife, but it also changes how we view you. If you really love someone you will think of them in your decisions. I would say both my husband and I have a very committed mindset when it comes to marriage. We also really like each other. We were friends long before we even dated. After 33 years, I think we both feel like our friendship was the glue when the romantic part of our relationship wasn’t working. We rely heavily on faith in God, and believe that he’s had a hand in our lives. Every day we grow as individuals and as a couple. This past year and a half, he has shown up in ways I never thought he would or could do. With each step he takes in his recovery, it pulls me closer. Addiction is the mistress in a marriage, the more you hold onto her the less strength and love you have for your wife. Once you get into recovery and only then, will you ever get a authentic, deeply connected, meaningful love..ironically, that is what most addicts are desperately seeking. Both must want it. You can’t do it alone.

 

If you are a man/person of faith, through prayer. Ask God to make you the man he designed you to be and to bring a partner suitable into your life. All throughout the Bible this was evident in successful relationships. I met my husband through friends. I prayed long before I met him, that God would give me assurance when I met the “ right” one. In spite of all we have been through, I’ve never doubted my decision. That doesn’t mean it’s all been happy and easy. Relationships are hard. Sin and selfishness makes them harder. I think when you focus on yourself and being the best version of you, aiming for your highest and best, you will draw people into your life that are of the same mind set. Porn, and/or addiction will hold you back, will hinder any relationship. If you are not a person of faith, I believe just focusing on being the best person you can will draw people to you. Church, school, gym, hobbies like hiking can put you in a place to meet someone. I don’t drink, but I don’t think meeting someone in a club or brewery is necessarily bad either. You certainly won’t meet anyone sitting at home on your computer! Lol. Volunteer! I meet people all the time, lots of single men my age looking, obviously I’m not interested but if I think one of my friends ( female) who is and I think they would get along I say something.

 

However, if you use porn you will never be satisfied with your partner and it will affect your relationship..

That's just so scary what you said right there. Its true, though. I have heard that married men do go for paid sex. Thats just fucking sad. Thats what I am trying to avoid., I don't wanna be that guy!