Day 60 of no PMO

Hi Everyone,

I made it to day 60 of no PMO. Although this is a big accomplishment, I do not consider myself an expert and feel there is still a lot to learn and improve on. I hope what I write below is concise and helpful to everyone on their journey to recovery.

What's helped me get to 60 days

• Sharing my emotions. Joining the weekly accountability group on nofap. It's very liberating to share my feelings and struggles in a safe space where I'm not judged. Also attending the optional drop in calls.
  
  
• Being a part of a community. Consistently showing up to the weekly meetings and being involved in the nofap online forums. The more I connect with people, I feel less lonely and less of a desire to look at porn.
  
  
• Self care. Trying to incorporate good habits such as exercising, writing in journal, meditating, gratitude list etc. into my daily routine and creating a habit chart to measure my progress.
  
  
• Consequence/Prevention. Taking cold showers in order to prevent myself from relapsing and also as a consequence when i relapse. You need to have a consequence otherwise there is nothing stopping you from relapsing.
  
  
• Changing my thoughts whenever I start fantasizing. Also trained myself to quickly close out of inappropriate or stimulating content.

How this journey has benefited me

• I have more good habits.
  
  
• Less distracted/better focus
  
  
• More control of my time. Whenever I relapsed, i would feel a lot of regret and shame. I would get to a point where I spend hours to days recovering emotionally before I can become productive again.
  
  
• Emotion overall is more stable. I'm less sad or feel empty inside.
  
  
• Easier to do things that I don't want to do such as cleaning, dishes, studying, etc. I use to procrastinate or flat out not do it.

What i learned so far:

• Be patient with the process. I got hooked on porn when I was 16 and have been an addict for 16 years. I failed hundreds if not thousands of times before i got on this current streak. Everyone's recovery timeline is different. You can't expect instant results or success after a few tries.
  
  
• If you fail, learn from it and try again. Beating yourself up is not productive and could hold you back from your recovery.
  
  
• You have to be honest with yourself and not downplay the severity of the porn addiction. I was telling myself lies for 16 years that what i did was normal and can stop anytime i wanted to. The lies changed to, my porn addiction will disappear when i find a girlfriend and lose my virginity. Once I found my partner, the porn addiction stayed. It wasn't until I hit my rock bottom a few months ago did I realize that I can't continue to try to fight this addiction on my own, because it's just not working.
  
  
• Hate to use a cliche, but one day at a time. Everyday visualize the scoreboard being 0. Don't focus or think about how much you've done in the past and what you have to do in the future. Focus on making it through today. I usually don't think about how many days I didn't fap or plan to not masturbate, and instead focus on what I want to accomplish that day. On days when I do have those thoughts, it's harder to make it through the day.
  
  
• There is no one magic solution such as a popup blocker to stop your addiction. From my personal experience, I found ways around the popup blocker and cancelling internet at my house. I'm not saying popup blockers aren't helpful and you shouldn't use it, but you have to figure out what's the most effective treatment for you and it may be multiple treatment options. I have to rely on self care, support group, changing negative thoughts, etc for my recovery.
  
  
• Enjoy the process of recovery. In my journey for recovery, I learned new things about myself, my emotions, my relationship with my family, and events in the past. I also learned what is effective for me in terms of my recovery. I also learned that I enjoy meeting my goals and seeing the results of it. I also met some great people from this community that I would've never gotten the chance to. The more I view my recovery as a journey of self discovery and learning and not as something I'm ashamed of and need to get rid of right away, I'm noticing better results and also more strength to resist the urge to PMO.

Hope this helps everyone. Feel free to ask me any questions!