Why Panic Button, Cold Showers, Life Goals and Practice Work to Defeat PMO

I just wanted to say how much the panic/emergency button has meant to me during moments of urges. I find if I can push the panic button, there's something to put my brain in the right space. Sometimes I hit it several times right in a row until I get just what I need.

There was one Panic Button which showed a scene from the movie Any Given Sunday that really impacted me the other day.



Al Pacino's character talks about the half second that makes the difference and the one inch that makes all the difference and when added up lead to victory. I think the half seconds and inches make the difference when we have urges and triggers. When we make the decision ahead of time, through our meditation, prayers, affirmations and commitments to loved ones we find it easier to remember to take the half second in a positive one minute direction, to take the inch and turn it to a meter in the right direction. It feels so good when we do.

I'm 6'3" and weigh 245 pounds. I work out 4 or 5 days a week at the gym but I'm working to lose body fat and get more ripped. My work takes me to lots of "rubber chicken dinners" at hotels where they lay a slab of cheesecake in front of you before the meal even begins. Then when the final course is removed, there's this 1,000 calorie cheesecake screaming to be eaten. So what I do now that I'm PMO free for nearly 60 days is take a small tip off the small end of it and put it in my mouth and keep it there, savoring the taste, just letting it stay in my mouth without swallowing. That little piece is enough to give me the pleasure I want without the calories. So during the speeches as I look at the slab of cheesecake I'm taunting it in my mind, saying "you've got nothing on me, you're not even pretty, why would I want you? I'm strong, so you might as well just give up." As I get up from the table at the end of the meeting I wink at the cheesecake and say in my mind, "I didn't mean it, it's not your fault, but I just can't give in, so thanks for understanding, no hard feelings." Some people might think I'm crazy, but it really works for me! I love playing mind games with in-animate objects because it makes me stronger to defeat PMO.

I've decided the reason PMO is so difficult to overcome, like heroin, is that even though both give a similar high, heron is easier to avoid because heroin takes a lot of pre-planning and work to get the drug. But with PMO the drug is always available 24/7/365. It doesn't take any planning, no need to make arrangements, and it's free! How easy, a heroin-like dopamine rush as often as you like for free. That's why cold showers are so important for me. Every time I step into the shower I have a choice, just like every time I experience an urge, I can turn it to hot and be comfortable. Just like PMO, the choice is always there during every shower. But when I chose cold, it's a giant affirmation for my sobriety because I made the hard choice one more time.