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CAN NOT be in the moment... at all! I need help

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by GripStrength, Jul 30, 2020.

  1. Jul 30, 2020 #1
    GripStrength

    GripStrength Fapstronaut

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    So this has been a problem for quite awhile now. I simply cannot be in the moment. At all. I really want to just take in information from the world, light, colours, sounds, smells, warmth, cold. Just anything and everything. But I really can’t. And I haven’t been able to for probably like almost ten years now.

    I need help. I don’t know how to fix this. I drive around and try to listen to the music and pay attention to the road and the scenery. I simply cann nottt do it?! I can’t see the bigger picture at all! I can’t enjoy anything fully! And I’m willing to try everything to fix this. I am normally in my own head. But I try very hard. And I turn off everything in there. And I try to see the world. But I still can’t even with a cleared mind. It’s almost impossible to listen to music anymore or watch a movie.

    I’m wondering if I have some kind of A.D.D. Or if this is a bad habit from years of depression. If I try to focus on a movie I quickly end up just focusing on tiny details rapidly and have no idea what the hell is going on (ah but I know the room number is 109 :p and that a pigeon was eating a damn French fry 50 meters in the back drop). This is how I live my life in the real world as well. Completely unable to see the bigger picture. But often laser in on things like raccoons walking, or people. If I’m on a lake I can’t experience the nature or the water or trees, but ultra focus on something like a bird flying very low across the water very far in the distance. And I am actually able to take that kind of information in and be in the moment. If I try to just take in the bigger picture. I find it very impossible and just rapidly look at different things. And it doesn’t feel like being in the moment at all.

    I’m just kind of tired of it. I want to see the beauty! Experience the sun and the scenery. Hear the church bells ring, and all that shit. The animals moving is a beauty in itself. But I’d like to enjoy other things too that are more still. Someone must have some tips or answers on here!
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
    GripStrength, Jul 30, 2020
    GripStrength, Jul 30, 2020
    #1
  2. Jul 30, 2020 #2
    GripStrength

    GripStrength Fapstronaut

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    Reading it back. I guess I can be in the moment. But it requires some kind of animal stimulation usually I guess. I’d like to be able to take in and experience things that are still. And just relax while enjoying some natural beauty.

    Or if anyone thinks this is something like A.D.D. Let me know. I think I can concentrate though? Not sure... Pretty sure I can concentrate really well and non-stop. But it’s always very directed. I just want to enjoy a sunrise or something lol.
     
    GripStrength, Jul 30, 2020
    GripStrength, Jul 30, 2020
    #2
  3. Jul 30, 2020 #3
    melville

    melville Fapstronaut

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    Mindfulness is the way to go. Being in the moment is exactly what the practise is all about. You don't suddenly get super attentive from one day to another, it's a skill that you have to develop. But if you put in the effort, you WILL be more present. Trust me on this!

    Also, get rid of (or at least minimize) your use of dopamine hijackers such as porn and social media. These things trick your brain to think it can get easy stimuli without much of an effort. Every time you indulge in using it you increase your dopamine tolerance meaning that you'll need more dopamine for pleasure. If the tolerance is too high, you won't get much enjoyment for watching the trees or listening to the birds.
     
    melville, Jul 30, 2020
    melville, Jul 30, 2020
    #3
    GripStrength likes this.
  4. Jul 30, 2020 #4
    GripStrength

    GripStrength Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! Funny, I’ve just started to get off of social media the last two days. My girlfriend suggested it as I get easily triggered and spiral from how people are on there. So I hope that has some kind of positive impact on this issue!

    How do you practice mindfulness? Is me clearing my thoughts and trying to experience the landscape practicing mindfulness? So basically just keep doing that all the time and try to catch it any time I slip?
     
    GripStrength, Jul 30, 2020
    GripStrength, Jul 30, 2020
    #4
  5. Jul 30, 2020 #5
    melville

    melville Fapstronaut

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    I find it helpful to use an app with guided meditations because in the beginning it's common to have some doubt whether you are doing it correctly. If it's guided, you can simply focus on the instructions. I can give you a free month with the app I use which also includes a very good 50-day introductory course. PM me if you're interested.

    I think the practise of mindfulness is more about observing whatever arises in your mind without attaching yourself to it. If it's sounds, it's sounds. If it's thoughts, it's thoughts and so on. And yes, it's all about catching yourself when you slip. Gradually you'll slip less which means you are more present.
     
    melville, Jul 30, 2020
    melville, Jul 30, 2020
    #5

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