relapse anxiety- help

Hi all,

recently asked this girl out and now she's my girlfriend and I'm fully into her. I've got feelings i never even knew existed due to previous P use.

I am currently 100% 40+ days PMO clean, and just before that I was clean for 36 days and 22 days before that. I feel no need for porn anymore.

however, the past few days I've been almost overwhelmed with dread. I can't stop thinking about the consequences of me relapsing. While it'd be bad, I'm definitely catastrophizing, but even thinking about my girl it makes me beyond scared to think I could lose her due to that. It's starting to take over my every thought. Ironically it's making me feel so bad it's probably more likely to push me back to relapse (even though I don't want to) than not caring at all.

so my question is: has anyone else had this issue? what practical steps did you implement to overcome this? Thanks in advance

 

Really appreciate your help bro, rationally I agree with you. One thing I know about quitting PMO is you have to learn to deal a lot more with stronger emotions rather than drown them out with your addiction. Luckily I have some great outlets but sometimes I feel this way when I'm unable to reach these outlets so I need to learn how to deal with them

 

your're right. I use my negative emotions in the gym and it is a great place- really think I would have lost my mind without it.
I am going to commit to starting meditation from tonight for a month and see how we go- I think being able to remove emotions and feelings from these negative thoughts will help me out a huge amount with how I've been feeling.