My Intro .. It's about time

I'm not new to NOFAP, I've been around here for a long time, I've read a lot of the people stories, and I am where i am now partly because of this community, I've learned a lot from you all, for that I'm grateful, thank you for all your honesty and sharing, it inspires and pushes me always, it hasn't been until last week that I decided to become a member of this community and i guess that's because my shame and denial have finally broken! and that's why now my fight is different, and i know i can ...
So let me share my story with you briefly, i'm addicted to porn and masturbation (big reveal ) .. i've been caught in the webs of this evil thing since puberty, since i've been 14 years old, so that makes it almost 10 years, my first ejaculation was actually masturbation to pornographic content of some sort, and since this first time i've been hooked, that was my dirty little secret, i then associated porn and masturbation to almost everything, my going to sleep, my waking up, my coming back from school, my stress, my all other negative feelings as well, my way of taking a break from life and my way of rewarding myself, i've treated this addiction like the friend that gave me everything i needed every time i needed it, but this friend turned out to be an enemy .. it took away so much from me, it took away my confidence, my energy, my health at sometimes, my friendships, my time, my academic achievements, my enjoyment of normal beautiful life, and most important of all: my freedom.. it left me high and dry .. i've lost the will to live, i was depressed, i wanted to kill myself because of porn and because i couldn't quit it, i've tried so so so many times, i've fought a lot! only to find myself losing to it again, and falling deeper in this hell, i saw the damages it did to me, ED, PE, loss of orgasm at many occasions, weird disgusting fetishes, it destroyed my brain, i became desensitized to everything that is normal and beautiful, i viewed the world through porn and sexuality, i missed out on a lot of things, i thought i was ruined, i had no hope to quit ..
but then i shared my struggle with someone and then another and then another, and then joined a group of people that, like me, were all fed up with this addiction and wanted a way out, and through sharing and feeling the love and acceptance of others, and surrendering my addiction to my higher power i too found a way out..
Today i'm a month free from P, i'm gradually quitting M (a way of quitting i know a lot of people here are against, but hey i'm doing it right, once every week with no phone and minimal fantasizing almost mechanically, with a huge amount of lube and almost no pressure, and soon i will give it up all together), i'm studying my self and improving my way of dealing with life, i'm finding myself new ways to cope with stress and anger and loneliness, i'm rewiring my brain on how to view the world, to enjoy the little things, looking at girls differently, experiencing relationships differently, and also spirituality, i feel a lot of confidence, i'm proud of myself in a humble way (if that makes sense), i lost my social anxiety, my erections are back, and i'm better overall .. I, of course, still have a very long way to go, i'm excited to go through the journey, and thanks to my support group, this community, my trusted friends and my higher power, I KNOW I CAN!

p.s: I'm sorry if that was too long

 

That's great, man .. as long as you're always fighting, you'll be on the right track .. i'm inspired by you .. really, when i was your age i never tried or fought this disease, i i was ignorant .. unlike you, from a young age and you're already taking steps towards a better life, thanks for sharing my friend!