Girl I was dating left me

Hey nofap community, I think this is a supportive community so I thought I'd share a recent story of mine. A couple months ago I met this girl from my school, we started talking and I found out she liked me, was willing to have sex with me and wanted to hang out. So we hung out and it was fun, we saw a movie and it was a pretty good night. Then about 2 weeks later we went on out legit date. We went to see insidious and were feeling each other up most of the time till i got blue balled, and then we kissed. It was a great night, the sexual stuff aside I really enjoyed just being there with her and feeling like someone really cared to have me around. Keep in mind at this point she was saying how she was in this for the long run and what not. She was eager to have sex which kinda was a red flag. I'm a christian and a virgin and losing my virginity to a girl I just met didn't feel right. I told her I thought it would be better if we waited till we loved each other, and she agreed. About a week after that date, which she and I both agreed was great, we hadn't talked much and our plans to go out again fell through. I just got the feeling she might not be into me anymore, so I asked her if she still liked me. She said "I think Im starting to like you more as a friend". That happened 3 days ago and i'm still confused, sad, and frustrated. She really made it seem as though she really liked me and everything was going great. I didn't say anything different or act any different, but within a week of our great night out, she no longer liked me. Last thursday night before me and her were go out I relapsed, I was going on a week or two. So anyways, sorry this was so long. I'm still pretty torn up over the whole thing as I thought we'd date for a while, I was really expecting us to have a solid future through the rest of high school (we are both seniors now, 16/17yo). The night she told me I didnt sleep, I went and worked out and never fell asleep. If your still reading you deserve a medal, please help me out here guys, I could use some advice/consoling. Thankss

 

Thanks for the input, part of me is curious as to why she ended things, I almost want to ask but at the same time feel like the answer might make things worse. I was pretty torn, one side of me said f*ck it, god's kinda left me hanging lately, and lifes lonely, and shes insanely attractive, this could be great. The other side said wait till marriage, this ain't right, and after we started to have sex i'd prolly get messed up in the head over the whole thing. In the end I think I didn't want it to end, i also talked her up a lot to try an make sure she'd stay. It was more to fill the void than actually liking who she was, Just a though. All in All I kinda wish it had played out differently. She did say she just kinda got caught up with her emotions and then had a reality check and I guess I didn't fit in the picture. It's rough, she really made me believe we had something. Again, thanks for the help guys

 

Don't praise me too much man, I can honestly say that if we had gotten the chance to be together alone and had we stayed together, we probably would have had sex. That's what made me wonder if God split us up, might sound far fetched to some but my cousin prayed about a girl he was talking to and she just stopped talking to him, not sure if they would've had a sinful relationship but God wasn't having any of that lol. I do want to find someone, but I can feel in my heart that I haven't met her yet, and I feel as though I kinda have an idea when I might meet her. Once I have the money, I plan to move from the east coast to west, I want to drive it so I can see the states. I bet my girls somewhere in one of those states

 

I'm not searching for the one, but I don't want to waste my time/heartbreak? I'm looking kinda for the middle. The void I have I think is loneliness, I'm not really sure but having her in my life I didn't feel that emptiness, the loneliness that followed me around. Honestly though I'm not sure what to think

 

Well, I guess I should add a few things. Neither of us went in to the movie thinking that stuff was going to happen. I don't think I gave out any mixed messages, I told her I wanted a real relationship and not some summer thing, she agreed and said the same thing. Also I didn't go into the relationship knowing she'd sleep with me, over time she and I kinda just said it. I told her that imo if two people really loved each other than they should have sex, which I kinda broke my own rule and told her F it. I said if she wanted to than we would, we were both on the same page etc. She said she wanted to with me because she trusted me and what not. Anyways this might clear some confusion. Oh and yes, the night after the movie we agreed we should do it again, we were going to hang out at each others house/see a movie within the next few days. To be honest I still kinda like her, and am really sexually attracted to her. I'm not sure what to do going forward between her and I