Hi all, I’m new on this forum, actually I've discovered it just 2 weeks ago. I decided to join to you guys and post that tread to gain your support in my journey. As you will notice, I’m not english native speaker, so in advance I want to sorry for my mistakes. But first, few words about me. I'm 27 ordinary guy, who is struggling with porn addiction since 15 years, as I remember. At thebeginning it was a light porn, but with a matter of time it has turned to more hard and violent. During these days I’ve discovered my fetishes and changed a point of view about women. I’ve found your community, because recently I found several videos about nofap benefits. It was not surprise for me, because during my fap life I had several period of times where I stayed clean. Major reasons of that were stress pressure in work/studies, a tones of work and other circumstances. In that times, I’ve found myself more confided, full of energy, more open-minded, calm and less anxious in social interactions. Now, I am trying to get back the control of my life, become free man without any addictions. I want to be a true man who has an energy, passion and drive to do new things in his life. I tried a lots of times go through with no pmo idea, but every time I failed. Recently I realized that the main reason why I didn’t achieve my goal is that I don’t have anybody to tell with about my problems. I hope this is the right place where I can get an inspiration and few words of support from you. It’d help me I believe. So, now this is my day 0 and my goal is 60 days. I’ll keep you guys update with my progress and list the benefits and bad sides of NoFap as well (if there are some).
Chris88 I know we are both new to the site, I came on July 5th with 24 hours PMO from stop date of July 4th and am now 48 hours PMO. I know we should seek additional support from seasoned members, but it may be comforting to know someone else is with ya. Below is my introduction to the group. I relate to what you said "At the beginning it was a light porn, but with a matter of time it has turned to more hard and violent. During these days I’ve discovered my fetishes and changed a point of view about women". Here is me. July 5th, 1st full day of unknown first PMO I feel hopeful to have found this website, I am cstguy. The stories I have read in my initial preview of PMO have been familiar to my current desire to change up my situation. I came to know about NoFAP through first seeing the Gary Wilson ted talk “Your Brain on Porn” which lead me down the search to find this group. I would say better time spent then what I have been doing with the internet lately, with porn, over an extended period of time. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel; I am hoping that it isn’t a freight train coming at me. I have experience with Sex Addicts Anon. and had been through an extensive 90 day program in the past when the best cell phone available was a second generation Motorola “brick”. The age of smart phones and internet access, as wonderful as it can be, now offers a greater challenge than ever before. I need to re-boot, as you say, so that I can get some sanity and enjoyment in my life and to feel empowered once again. I feel this is the way to get this done, I will be employing as many support structures as it will take to get this done, personal talk therapist, books, someone from the this site to help me, whatever it takes. I am aware of the challenge and hope to start out with a small step to see how I fit with the plan. Perhaps if you are a guy in his sixties (you are not, added) that can relate to what I have said, we can message each other to see if we are a good fit for each other. I hope my short Bio helps. CSTGUY
Hi cstguy Thanks for your response. As me you had find yourself be needed for help from other people. Keep us update about your problem, progress, benefits, disadvantages of NoFap adventure. I think it's a best way to overcome ours urges and be still abstain of PMO. Here is my update, After 2 days and 5 hours of no pmo, I had a sex with my ex. I didn’t lead to this, but sexual tension between us was too big and we were craving for to unleash our urges and emotions. It was spontaneous, and actually after that I didn’t feel bad, maybe a little disappointed. But you know guys, I find sex like something normal and good in men’s life. It’s a part of that and I’m not ashamed of this. So in results, now I’m almost 5 days in No PM and 2 days in NO PMO. Any way I feel great, and I remember that after sex with my ex (which was really great, full of passion) I felt a little less confidence and less of energy. Today in the morning I had had a big urges, and several times a stoked myself, but after that I remained myself to keep my hands away of my dick. What does ‘hard mode’ of NoFap means? NoFap including sex? I read that in some posts on forum.
Welcome guys! We're happy to have you because more people more motivation, more support, more power and bigger successes. @Chriss88 there's "The Glossary" button on the top right side of the web page (http://www.nofap.com/glossary) you can find many more jargon and their meaning there.
Hey guys. Well done on making these starts! I wish you well. I see this: quite a lot, and it always comes in a post that's in really understandable English! Certainly English that knocks my non-efforts - as a lazy, native English speaker - to speak other languages into a cocked hat! Your English is great, Chris.
Hey @Chris88, Welcome to the fight. You will find a lot of good support here. Keep practicing the quitting process every day, every moment and you will get just a little closer to your goal.
Hi Chris88, Cleaning Colin and Shekar95 Chris88. Thank you specifically for the response. I just met for the first time with a trusted talk therapist today, Friday July 8th, to have her help me in my journey. The good news is that currently I am no PMO for 5 days and I am keeping myself busy reading up on my books from the old days with SAA, SLAA and Co-dependency 12 step books along with a book call "Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Carnes. This delicate issue, for me, aside from seeking resources like NoFap, is best first discussed and first handled with my long standing talk therapist (so I can look someone in the eye who understands me) whom I have seen off and on for a number of years. For me, I don't want to plot a course that covers me with guilt and shame/sorrow. In the books I have read, using guilt/shame to find a path out of PMO is harder then using understanding the process as a way to see the light at the end of the tunnel. For me, Chris, many things are natural when it comes to sex, but one has to decide what becomes unmanageable. Now with that said, The PM part is first on the list for me because the unmanageable part of viewing P which leads to M which leads to possible excessive Self O. Now in reboot, for me, I currently have to do NO PMO to give my Mind and Body a break (I understand this completely). I am a single man of 65 years old and still actively seeking a female relationship. But using PMO left me with ED. So I understand that I need the complete no PMO time. So Chris88, Cleaning Colin and Shekar95 These are initial thoughts for today at the the end of 5 days sober. Chris, I like what you said "But you know guys, I find sex like something normal and good in men’s life. It’s a part of that and I’m not ashamed of this". I do have, I think, positive thoughts on the above Chris. For me, if I can use clear and complete focus on the person who is receiving my best and uninfluenced touch and care, then I can understand that I did so without relying on P or M to get me there, that is manageable. CSTGUY
Right on brother, we must have been typing at the same moment, I sent you a separate message a moment ago.
Hello guys again, Sorry for my absence, Now I’m on the resort city by the lake and currently I’m taking my time. I want you to know that I almost relapsed just 40 min ago, but I stopped myself of jerking off by thinking about you guys. I imagined how bad I would feel if I were posting massage here that I failed. You guys prevented me of relapse again. Thanks a lot. After that, I took the longest and coldest shower in my entire life. I was so closed to relapse I used to be. I definitely in M, but not in P because I was looking for nude photos of women having a sex with men. They were particular photos, because related to my fucking fetish. But more about that later. Now, I’m about to drink a beer and get my all thoughts together. I want drink a beer and get relax. I’m going to make a list of things that really work for me in my NoFap adventure. See you guys
I was really surprised when I had logged in to this forum and saw that my last past is from 2016. As you make thing, yes since that I was relapsing over and over again. During these year I was trying to rid of porn from my life but I haven't succeeded. But I'm not here to tell you how my miserable approaches to NO PMO were but to start once more time and report to you how I'm dealing with my goal. I relapsed today watching photoes of nude women and reading stories on the forum about hotwifing and cuckolding. You may now what those terms mean. Cuckolding and hotwifing where/are the things that make me so horny. Just to be honest with you, I was so crazy about it that I was pushing my girlfriend to make me horns in the past. I know it that for most of you it is really crazy and cannot believe that somebody wants his gf to cheat on (with his knowledge). I dont want to go deep in my kink, but it is a major thing that was making me relapsing during last 4 years. What I manage to reach my new goal (30 days NO PO): 1. Try to keep myself busy I booked a trial English lesson in italki.com. I'm going to having english lesson regularly 1 time a week. Also I booked tenis lesson on Sunday this week. My goal is to play tenis 2 times a week. This is a sport that i always wanted to play but in case of lack of time and motivation I didn't. 2. Having sex with gf at least once a week 3. start going to the church 4. be more social. Try to reconnect contacts with old buddies I used to work with (one year ago I changed a job), going out on a beer with friends 5. read more books. Spend at least 30 min a day on reading 6. Avoiding wasting time on my phone. About several weeks ago I changed colors on my phone to monochromatic to make it less attractive and enjoyable. Please keep your finger crossed. I will try to update my progress regularly.
Hello, It's day 4 I had sex with my gf last saturday. After that I haven't thought about PMO till today. Currently I working from home, so I have plenty of time to fap and to watch porno. Today I went on the forum regarding my fetish and I read some last post and watch some pictures of women who are cuckolding their husbands. I was masturbating a little through my pants but i didn't ejaculate. I will say that i still didn't reset my counter, but next time I will reset it. Now I need to somehow shut down my account on the forum. Once you have an access to it you can watch memebers' photoes. It would lead me to fapping again. On Sunday I had my first tenis lesson with a teacher. I enjoyed it, but I found it hard in the same time. But all the beginnings are hard. Second lesson is on Thursday. Today after work I was on the bike an There are some changes: 1. Start playing tenis 2. Spending free time on riding a bike, walks, exercising (i decided to make exercises of spine muscles) Want I need to do: 1. Do not disturb myself during work hours 2. Read books before sleep 3. Keep going with tenis, and other activities For now I don't feel any pros of beeing on NO PM. Mayby I feel a little better because I'm not ashame of myself like I used to be after fapping. But felt guilty when I ended reading the forum today. I shouldn't have do it but I did.
My advice is you don't need so many small goals. You just need a smart strategy for regulating device usage, internet-access and screentime. When are you relapsing? What device are you using? Where are you when it happens? Do you live alone?
Hi, I relapse watching porn on the phone and laptop. I live alone and normaly I've got many opportunities to fap during a day (work from home). It happens usually during evenings at home. Do you have in your mind a pornblocker app to be installed?
Hi, I relapsed at a day 5 - last Friday, I was masturbating at the morning nu didn't cum. Later in the evening I was masturbating and watching porn and in result I relapsed. The bad thing is that after about 30 minuted next urge came I couldn't resist. So i relapsed 2 times that evening. I felt guilty and shame but I kind of had a filling that cannot hold anymore. I was counting on my gf to have sex with her, but she got her period so I couln't release the tension in that way. I think that the urges start to come more often since I had masturbated to the nude femal photoes some day before. I don't know if you know that feeling, when you masturbate and don't come. Then it feels like you've got some semen out of your balls, and your body wants you to ejaculate in order to clean up its deferent ducts. I reseted my counter and currenlty it's my day 3 I don't feel urges and I am aware of to do not masturbating at all to miss uncomfortable urges in the future. There are some changes: 1. I started to take an English lessons. Last Saturday I had two of them. Want to take them 2 times a week 2. I had attempted to delete my account on the forum I mentioned about, but couln't find and option to do this. I posted a topic on the forum with the request of deleting my account. Want I need to do: 1. Do not disturb myself during work hours 2. Read books before sleep 3. Keep going with tenis, and other activities
Hi, Today I've relapsed. I was watching porn and was on the forum, the one about my kink. Unfortunatelly admins and moderators are not keen to delete my account there and in addistion there is no option for me to contact them. I run there a topic with my claim to be kicked off the forum, but no one cares. Members posted that there is the way to have my account deleted is to do not log in for 6 months. Unfortunately, I don't see the option to resist to no log in for such a long time. I will figured out sth to be banned there I don't really remember what number of my NO PO counter was, but it seems that it was 10 day. It was my record since I decided to resume my threat again. What I felt during my last strike: After some days (about 5 days) I was feeling very calm and balanced. lately I'm having some relationship issues with my gf. I've been with her for about 8 months. The issue is that she acts a lot like a princess and she pushes me to pay for everything when we're spending time togather. She knows what I thinking about, but she tries to put hers foot down and make me less assertive. We were two times really close to break up. When she was pissing me off during fapping days I was feeling pissed off but trying to pretend my emotions and stay calm. I 100% sure that she saw it I'm boiling with anger. But after some break from PO I was cold and start to think how to outplay her. I was thinking clear without any anger, I felt confident. Since that I could normaly talk to her about what she do and defend my optinion wihout emotions. Also, I went more futher to the point, where I was trying to fix her by talking to her, make her feeling loved. My activities: 1. Still taking tenis lessons - I'm getting better in it 2. I booked 15 English lesson - I intend to take 2 lesson a week What I need to change: 1. Stay away from phone 2. Read more
Hi, Hello again after my long absence. Since last time, I relapsed about 6 times as far as remember. But always I've been getting back on a track (Is it make sens?). Its my 3 day of nofap and I feel like I am more motivated to achive my goal witch is 30 days without PM. How I feel now: - I feel sleepy in afternoons. I can be caused my early wake ups - I feel like I am getting more calm and relaxed My activities: 1. Still taking tenis lessons - I'm getting better in it 2. I've started to watch movies ragarding bad effects of masturbation on the Internet. I make me stronger in my strike. 3. Taking english lessons - but recenlty I had a break. An intensity has to be improved. 4. Wake up early in the mornings in order to start work at 7 am. What I need to change: 1. Stay away from phone after work 2. Read more books 3. Start jogging/doing exercises
