Relapsed but still going ..NEED HELP

This site is FULL of tip and tricks! Read though the posts and journals to get some ideas. Keep reading as much as you can. You can do this

 

This is an important step towards breaking free my friend. The roller-coaster mood swing ride, where your convinced you can and then get depressed and give up when you fail, is just part of the addictive cycle. Getting to the 'just keep going' mode no matter if you are failing or succeeding was a phase of a couple months I went through before my current streak. Despite the fact that I wasn't getting major streaks I knew something was different and that I was going to overcome this.

I think wives and gf's can be ways to prolong the addiction, you need to just want to have sex, not to need it.

Here's a good read with tips. At some point I should start my own tip tread...
http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-the-hell-do-you-quit-pmo.38413/#post-246854

 

Good luck!! Its tough, but everyone can do it

 

Never Stop trying.That's what I would say.It doesnt matter how many times you fail.Just dust yourself off and start again.

 

Iknow that feeling of loss dude couse i just relapsed. I felt really bad at first but i startred focussing on my day to day tasks and now it is a bit easy. Try meditation.

 

Hamada, I too have been struggling. My girlfriend broke up with me (read "The Singular Event that Brought Me to NoFap" in the Relationships thread)

And while it wasn't going to work anyway, I still feel like I need the company of someone. The sex is mixed up in the need for companionship too. But as I've heard with quitting smoking (something I've stopped two weeks ago) each time you relapse, the next attempt at quitting brings you closer to being a former smoker.

So in your case your relapse is nothing more than a punctuation for this new attempt which may just be the attempt that becomes a way of life! I'm going to heed my own advice right now and quit seeking out women in general. When I think of how divisive porn is for men to be social with each other, it gets me a bit angry. If we were closer as men and shared what we're going through with each other then it'd be easier for us to find partners, be productive in our lives, achieve our goals, be more aware and conscious of our world etc. Okay, end editorial.

For me, the worry about sexual activity is nothing more than that rationalizing voice inside that's saying: "You're not going to have sex, so you might as well...." The task is to silence the voice without sating it. What are your passions that aren't motivated by sexual desire?

My thing has been music, creativity, and physical activity. Just after I ejaculate I find an urge to be creative in some way. Sometimes I just have an energy that makes me want to run, or play tennis, or go to a batting cage, or golf range, or play my drums--there's a theme there that says I like hitting things with other things. Whatever. As long as my mind is off sexual thinking (Of course, some folks may get a stiffy watching or partaking in violence or fast cars or whatever but that's entirely different issue).

If I'm ultra honest with myself I'm amazed how much my actions and behavior are sexually motivated. Yet, when the drive is removed (that window after ejaculating) I find what I truly am and my purpose. Like this, right now, is more in line with my purpose. To be writing and helping people. (If only I could find a job doing that!)

The trick is to stick to that purpose and passion so as not to deviate into unproductive behavior be it PMO, smoking, unconscious eating, spending, gambling, television watching, etc. As suggested, meditating can assist this learning to be "aware;" to look at one's Self without making a value judgement, yet allow yourself to make "wise" decisions.

After over a decade in recovery from drugs and alcohol I made some discoveries along the way; first, I thought it was the drugs and alcohol that was the problem, then I realized that wasn't it. I then thought it was my inability to moderate (I knew porn was in the mix too), binge television watching, etc. then I realized those were only coping mechanisms. In the last year or so the essence of all my problems was my lack of self awareness. If I could maintain a conscious awareness longer than an unconscious, "auto-pilot" state I'd be Nobel Prize winner. Or at least if I taught my auto-pilot to fly toward things other than the sides of mountains.

I could go on, but know that you're not alone in this and I really know how you feel. Sure I want to have sex, but not as much as I want intimacy and connection. After all, that's what we're really after underneath the sex isn't it?

There's a lot of books I've found helpful. Rather than take up more space on this thread, just drop me a line and I'll give you some suggestions; movies too. And by the way, another thing I enjoy doing (as if you couldn't tell by now) is to write. Just by contributing to this thread I've changed my emotional state.
Helping others is an excellent way of taking your mind of yourself (good or bad) making you less self-absorbed, yet giving yourself self-confidence by being valuable to others. At least, this is all based on my experience.

All the best!

 

They won't disappear, but they will get much easier. Actually there are periods of time when they disappear, this is called flat line. But they come back. You will see. It is so worth it.

 

One relapse does not reverse your progress. It's one loss out of dozens of wins. I made this to track success rate:
http://wikisend.com/download/970068/NoFapTrack.xlsx

"Fapportunities/day" is the number of times you used to fap in a day; punch in your estimate in that cell. Then just enter your start date in the top cell of C, and how many times you fapped each day in B. It will automatically count your W-L record, your success percentage, and your current, and longest streaks.