Would you prefer to be asexual?

In order to reach your personal goal to stop porn use or getting rid of masturbation or doing semen retention, ..., would you prefer not to have any sexual desires?
Or do you accept that there will be a constant fight between your willpower against your sexual desires, or do you even look for this fight in order to win?

 

I wouldn't. Sexuality is the way in which our hearts express their deepest desires, what it really seeks. It moves and directs us towards what we really want.

The pain we feel is what makes us know we are alive. You can even find beauty in that pain, in that agony of the heart, in that search of true happiness. How the heart can't accept any substitute, but what he really wants. It's like a love story.

Being asexual, being anesthetized, would only transform us into robots, our life wouldn't have a meaning.

My life is not a constant fight between my sexual desires and my willpower (I'm not trying to repress my desires, i'm trying to fulfil them). It is a conflict between a naive heart and a wise mind, and it is I (my will), who decides what to do.
My heart wants something, and it's confused by all the stimuli of the outside. He doesn't know where it may be and wants a relief, so he will look for it anywhere. Although he will not be satiated with nothing but what it really desires.
My mind, my intelligence, can get to know and to learn how to get what my heart wants..
But it is my will which decides what to do. He is the one who restrain my heart from looking in places where my heart won't find it. Moved by my heart, and guided by my intelligence, he can make its way to fulfil my deepest desires. But my will is weak, and it may surrender and settle for something less of what i desire.

But in the future, i hope, i trust, that i will find what my heart yearns for, and not only i will let loose my desires, but they will be fulfilled too.
That's why i wouldn't anesthetize my feelings.

 

Thanks for the answers so far.
I join @JoeinMD and @Red Riot in their opinion. To get the upper hand over the desires is what makes nofap work, at least for me. Do you think that moderate masturbation would mean you've lost in this conflict, or would it mean you've won, because you decide if and when you do it, and not your urges have overcome you.
@InTheWilderness, you wrote that you would certainly take a pill to stop sexual desires. I think I'd try it out to see how this feels, but I guess it would feel like I'm losing an important part of my life.
I also heard about a boy who is locked in to a chastity belt. By this you can get very far without the chance to touch yourself, but doesn't that crucially diminish the victory over the desires?

 

I think that porn and masturbation are enslaving, so i don't see the point in choosing not being completely free from them.

Could you control how and when you masturbate and watch porn? Maybe. I mean, in the end it is us the ones who decides our acts, so it is a possibility.
But if you consider it harmful and decided to get rid of it, why would you actively choose to do it?

Would it be better than not being able to control when you masturbate? Sure.

We all started being able to choose the how and the when. It was with time we became addicts and became slaves to our urges.
As i see it, it would be like running towards the edge of a cliff, and stopping just before you fall to feel the adrenaline rush. You sure will be able to do it many times without falling. There is possibility that you will never fall. But it just takes one time to trip and to fall into addiction again.

As I said before, we have these desires to move us towards what our heart seeks, love and true happiness. That's why we shouldn't settle for nothing else but what we really want. Because we may end up being too comfy to keep our search for fulfilness.

 

@Red Riot , thank you very much for your thoughts upon this. I can understand how you got to the conclusion not to do it completely. I still have my doubts, that this really works for a lifetime. I think you start from that point:

My experience was different. From the first time on I masturbated I wasn't able to control it any more in that sense, that I coulndn't keep away from it for say three of four days until the urges got too strong. Later, as I decided to take nofap seriously it took me lots of effort to get control over it for longer timespans. But I don't believe that one can be able to keep control always and ever (except for some true heroes...). I accept that this is true and I try to find a way to a) expand the timespans when I keep control, and b) not to fall back completely into the old habit.

There you're absolutely right. It happened some times to me that once I did it again I got stuck there... That's the pitfall in my way. I'm actively looking for how to avoid this.

I hope I can. I don't consider masturbation as harmful. I consider it as natural and inevitable for most of us. I'd choose to actively do it to give it it's space, but to do the best I can to minimize this space succesively.

I'm enthusiastic about this statement. Don't know how many people around us see abstaining from masturbation as fulfilness, but I absolutely do. I'll always keep on searching like you do.

 

@metobefree
We are the ones who decide what actions we do. Never masturbating again sure it's difficult, but trust me, it is possible. Your will isn't defeated by urges, it simply changes it's direction towards PM. You are ALWAYS the one who decides your acts.

Heroes aren't special people, they are made the same way as us. What makes the difference is their determination to succed. You could become a hero, with great effort of course, but you could.

It is true that never masturbating again is really difficult, and you may end up falling. But already accepting defeat, already setting some "cheap days", will make you fall for sure.
It is acceptable to fail, we are humans after all, but we must continue trying to become our best version. We shouldn't settle for an easier option.

Porn and Masturbation are evitable, and you can make it.

Keep searching. You will find it.

Good luck.

 

@Red Riot , Thank you for your very motivating lines.
I'll do the best I can.
"Never masturbating again" how promising this sounds...

 

My sister is asexual and me her are very alike, except she has never had a boyfriend, never had sex, never kissed, does not look at porn, does not pmo, and she is way happier and has far greater peace of mind than me, she said she has no interest in those things.

 

That's very true. AMD it would be great if people would be more open minded that there a thousand of different ways how sex can be fulfilling for others

 

I don't think so. If there was no motivation for being in a relationship or having a family I would be lonely.

 

Hm, @Rosamund , I don't think so. First, I don't see sexuality as vicious. What some of us make out of it is problematic, but this seems to me rather to be an outcome of suppressing sexuality.
Second, I think not an isolated "thing" that one can exclude out of its life. It is connected with all that one finds desirable, beautiful, just like some islands that rise up from an ocean of unconscious, but are connected underneath.