Who's up for a JULY challenge?

You're absolutely right, but I'm kind of confused about letting myself allow to feel about why Fb makes me feel bad. You mean that I need to figure out what it is that makes me sad? Perhaps it is the urge to look at it for no specific reason and then be disappointed about the result, following by looking again. I feel like it is linked to PMO in some way but not in a sexual way. Like I am brainwashed to scroll through pages and I just don't know better.

 

Yeah that's what I mean bro, about why it makes you feel sad.

I feel from you that they are connected. The emotion I pick up here is that you scroll through Facebook, because there's a hole in you somewhere that you feel both Facebook and PMO can fill. The loneliness of that emotion, the emptiness is exactly what you need to allow your body to feel in it's entirety. Don't be afraid of it. Just allow those emotions to course it's way freely through your body.

Any other questions, please feel free to ask.

 

Jumping on the Fb comment bandwagon, I relate to the comment @AlltheRageBackHome about having an emotional hole that I seek to fill. Before I got sucked into PMO and social media, I think my life was pretty decent and adventurous.

Then I allowed myself to get stressed and bogged down with responsibilities without finding healthy outlets. Instead of seeking REAL emotional connection with others, I started to isolate more and feel sorry for myself, overwhelmed by life, work, kids. Then PMO and social media suddenly provided a way where instead of me taking responsibility for my life, I could just drift and find whatever "false" stimulus I could find that would create a temporary excitement. The net provided endless distraction. But it is such as viscous cycle!!! Instead of living a fulfilling life, I traded it for online thrill seeking, which made my real life less and less fulfilling, so the cycle continued. I also used to chat to deal with not feeling like I was getting enough attention from my spouse. But it always was a false attention and false hit. Fb can be used to stay in touch with real friends if it leads to reaching out and meeting them. But in my case, it turned into a constant buzz search to avoid loneliness, regret, loss of self esteem and doing what I really needed to get done.

 

still in it.

mind the triggers. sometimes its the mind sometimes the body where the urges come from.
Even after .... ok guys yesterday I had sex (which was relieving oc) but when I stood up from my chair a moment ago I felt the urge in my loins so strong... I have to go outside very soon

 

I have had some urges today and tonight as well, but made a decision to never go back to PMO even if it kills me. For me, it's a beautiful battle, because it's all about the art of self control. This is the highest form of mastering oneself, and there are eternal rewards for this, I promise you.

I have no desire to PMO. I'm just horny to go out there and get laid lol. I've been single since May
I know for a lot of guys that's not even long at all. It's just the feeling of wondering when the next chick is going to come. I no longer go out clubbing, partying, so for me, it's a matter of talking to girls I see wherever, grocery, gym, walking past me in the street... I just don't have much opportunity to meeting new women these days, especially since I also just left my job (which is where I found my ex girlfriend).

 

I didn't make it to the end. I M and O'd. No P. I was incredibly horny, I let it get the best of me. There's a stage where I feel great, then after a period of time, mostly after a couple of weeks, (this time a little more than one week), I feel this huge urge to M and O. Not so much to P, but just to let it go. I was wondering if this is a common? And I don't mean the speed bump in the first couple of days. Thanks and to those who are still going keep going you're doing great!

 

I'm pretty sure it's common and it was true for me. I could get a good head of steam going through the first week then collapse after that high wore off. Then the urges would get so strong my mind literally couldn't even remember why I was doing NoFap. I would think I must be crazy and the same with everyone on this site.

I failed so many times between day 12 and 30 that I finally really started to get prepared for those days. I refused to have any more debates about it in my head and decided I didn't care how much I suffered I wouldn't PMO until day 30.

And I really upped my work outs through those days. I went until I was exhausted every day for those few weeks. Then the only real challenge was the 'reward' instinct. I knew I couldn't white knuckle it forever but I did through those weeks. I scheduled my every move.

I was just so damn frustrated I pushed though and I was so sick of myself. My next step was going to be smash the laptop with a hammer and not just cancel the net but rip the wires out of the walls. I knew I would too so it motivated me. Basically I had to get that angry with it all, that done with it all.

You have to have faith too that it will get better and it does.


You didn't lose anything either without P you are rewiring and beating this thing. keep going man

 

DKR

That is a very helpful post. I'm a bit above 30 days now... don't remember the count... it'll show up in my signature as soon as I post this message.

But the last few days have been an uphill climb and I've had to get myself exhausted so I could sleep --otherwise I had the urge to M to help me go to sleep. Your post gives me more insights into why this could be happening.

 

it is getting a little harder for me also, but i am not worried. Or with other words: nofap is starting to be fun again(liked it in the beginning when it was a little harder), i guess i am on "flatline" now.

 

34 days. I know we are all different but you are really getting there. That struggle is part of the detox, it means you are indeed rewiring. Things are still cooling down too. I think about day 40 things started to mellow down. I started to have a lot more good days than bad. And finally some clarity. I could see not everything was PMO withdrawal and some days/nights just suck for everyone, it's life. I was so used to running to PMO for every problem like a kids blanket.

Visualising the aftermath of a relapse can help too. And telling yourself esp when things are bad that you can do anything you want just not PMO.

During the bad days I didn't care if I played vid games for 14 hours straight or ate 4 bags of chips and smoked 200 cigs.
I worked out till exhaustion but I allowed anything but PMO healthy or not knowing it was only a few more weeks. I would read comics all night at times. A few nights I popped a Valium. Good or bad I pulled out all the guns for that period knowing it would pass.

Tell that rationalizing voice inside to come back in 30, 60, 90 days with it's complaints and see then.
I treat my wanting ego like an annoying child who I happen to love lol

Meditation really helps short and long term

you will be turning a corner very soon


I hope I don't sound like a know it all, I just like sharing every little thing I can think of as that is what's helped me. I see things here and there in others posts and get a lot of wake up moments.


I wish I knew who it was but they were talking about how you can never beat this thing if you see it as a CAN'T and are always battling that.
As soon as I read that my chest literally lightened esp after that 12-30 day battle.
Now I am realizing I CAN watch porn if I want I just really don't want to.

The most evil thing porn did to me was convincing me that my health problems were somehow better with it in my life. That if I quit PMO my life would be simply unbearable and that's been nothing but a horrible lie. I'm handing everything better now and I'm only half way through this.
I'm actually happy I'm only half through my challenge because I know so much more is coming.
Feeling this rewiring is addictive man, I am just starting to like it now

keep fighting guys

 

Very helpful comments DKR! Totally relate. The last two nights I've had to do everything and anything to keep my mind off P before sleep. Last night I finally watched comedy shows until I literally collapsed into sleep. I played vid games tonight and eating more than I should. I did some meditation (impatiently) and swimming and pushups to exhaust. Sometimes I feel I have to do every crazy thing to keep me distracted from P... But as you say, it will pass. Keep moving forward all!

 

". Sometimes I feel I have to do every crazy thing to keep me distracted from P"

LOL That's truly my biggest weapon in all this. My addiction might be bigger than me but it can't out crazy me. Comedy is great and Kristian mentioned the importance of laughter. I couldn't agree more. I hadn't laughed in 5 years and I was aware of that fact. Again a heck of a shock to find out porn did that to me. Robbed me of my ability to laugh, that's evil enough in itself. Now I find myself laughing insanely over the strangest things. I was walking yesterday and got laughing so loud it actually scared me lol Then I realized it was all just rewiring and quite wonderful.

 

I like this idea. Measures that are absolutely necessary, emotions that must be let out, consequences to teach oneself with.
Though I never did it myself. Maybe at some point this would have been all there is to do to quit pmo.

 

I do not be leave in the method to use pornblockers, disable internet, be without computer, etc. I will beat 90%+ of the people here with pure willpower. I still need to think over my internet habits(i have already deleted my facebook account, stopped using dating sites, porn free for 87 days).

I am not using a counter or calender either, i just save the days i started on my profile.

 

Going through a really horrible time. PMO multiple times in a day have left me weak and frustrated. Feels like all the life has been drained out of me but the addiction won't go away. Really need help. Someone please give practical suggestions to cope with this nightmare.

 

You only need to
-stop watching porn/similar
-stop with masturbation completely of cut down with it.

I suggest you learn discipline(try it with easy porn access, no blockers or anything), i also suggest that you do not expect nofap to solve everything or even anything, no one can know for sure what works for you. You need to work with your deeper problems which is driving the addiction.

 

I'm joining in! I'm on day 74 and when I get through July I'll be only a few days from my 90 day goal

 

I'm still a rebooting noob, but 18+ days is way longer than any streak this year for me. What seems to help 1) all-in mental commitment to stay off P for July no matter what it takes, 2) focus on July and not worry how to do this "forever", 3) NO gray areas, for me any arousing pixels or words = P, 4) working on facing rather than escaping underlying emotions (super difficult but worth it), 5) willingness to keep adapting and try anything and everything to avoid. If I have to smash my machines or duct tape myself, I will do it! Thanks for this challenge and all the inspiration and support!

 

Seeing as I'm a little late for the July challenge, will there be an August one?

 

There will if you start one. But no reason you can't start now, and continue through August!