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Always Comparing Myself

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Daggertail19, Jan 18, 2021.

  1. Jan 18, 2021 #1
    Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    Been a while since I posted on here, but recently I have been taking this whole reboot thing seriously and have some thoughts.

    Although I have always known that I compare myself to others (the way I look, the way I act, etc.) I never really stopped to think about what it is I am doing by comparing. It makes me feel worthless and unwanted because I have been repeating thins like "If I had green eyes, more girls would look at me" or "If I had that car I would be more attractive" I guess this is all normal thought, but I want to stop it.

    I guess what I hope to get out of this post is thoughts on what others have done in these times to reframe your mindset. Some tips or insight on anything will be helpful. Don't hold back, you can be brutally honest. Who else has felt that way and what do you do to remind yourself that kind of stuff does not matter?

    I appreciate your tips and thoughts.
     
    Daggertail19, Jan 18, 2021
    Daggertail19, Jan 18, 2021
    #1
    Kingfisher likes this.
  2. Jan 18, 2021 #2
    Slimjimjones

    Slimjimjones Fapstronaut

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    Hey no worries, this is a problem many boys must take to become a man in every sense of the word.
    1. Just gotta say this your true love isn't going to give two shits about the vehicle your driving, the type of people who judge me for my car are likely mishuided and are of no concern to me if they have that sort of shitty attitude.
    2. On to the real advice. Read and watch philosophy videos, specifically ones concerning manhood and place in the universe. Refuse to let the mob put you down for something as fickle as status or looks. I'm being real serious when I say these will help you. Youtube: Academy of Ideas, Pursuit of Wonder
    Books: Jack Donovan's The way of men trilogy
    Plato's Republic

    Do yourself a favor and go to the gym or work out if you don't already. Start becoming more competent.
    Learn chess/other brain games
    Learn basic mechanics
    Learn martial arts
    Learn more about guns
    Learn more about history
    Carpentry
    Smithing
    Reloading
    Sciences
    Wood carving
    Find a passion
    Meditate
    Become a man that can create value and be relied upon in the toughest situations.
    All this is thousands of times more important than what car you have or status to women. Chase excellence, true excellence, and the rest will follow.

    I know that sort of rambled but I hope it helps! :)
     
    Slimjimjones, Jan 18, 2021
    Slimjimjones, Jan 18, 2021
    #2
    Munchausen and FezMan76 like this.
  3. Jan 19, 2021 #3
    Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your advice and recommendations. I definitely learn more from videos and books so I think it is great you gave me specific titles. The rambling is appreciated.

     
    Daggertail19, Jan 19, 2021
    Daggertail19, Jan 19, 2021
    #3
  4. Jan 21, 2021 #4
    Mihadom

    Mihadom Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    Hey man, comparing to others is a sure sign of low self esteem, sign of not accepting oneself. I'd recommend you the book called No more Mr nice guy, I'm sure it'd be very helpful. Sometimes we do think things like if I had this then it would be like that, if I had money I'd be happier. How can you guarantee that I'd be like that. This cycle of comparing to others create need for external validation, which is conditioned during childhood. You'd want to do some inner work too, work on that self esteem of yours and find something that you really like doing. Cheers and good luck!
     
    Mihadom, Jan 21, 2021
    Mihadom, Jan 21, 2021
    #4
  5. Jan 21, 2021 #5
    Daggertail19

    Daggertail19 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate your advice, I will take a look at the book. Recently I have deleted all social media platforms as I use to post on there for external validation. When I did not get it, I resorted to either deleting the post or just feeling like poop about it. I feel a lot better, but feel like something is missing and am going through this withdrawal/depressive state, probably because I have not outlet for that validation. Trying to fill that with hobbies, I noticed I don't have many of those..... besides going to the gym and playing guitar.

    Anyway, I went on a tangent. Thanks again
     
    Daggertail19, Jan 21, 2021
    Daggertail19, Jan 21, 2021
    #5

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