Day 29 It’s been a tricky one today! Instagram suggested a photo of an old friend to me, and the photo made me look twice - quite annoyed that such a small trigger affected the remainder of my day, but it seems that it really is the small things that send us into downward spirals. Having an early night so that I’m not spending more time on my phone than I need to, I’m considering keeping my phone off in the evenings so I can switch off and avoid temptation - probably a smart idea! I was comforted by a some verses from the Bible this evening, and I’d love to share them with you all: 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.”
Day 15, I have reached the rank of Hobbit once again and it has been some time since being here! Happy to be back Still with a partner and no orgasm, no urges to speak of but low energy today. Not sure if it is a flatline setting in or just stress/less sleep (been waking up at 4:21 every morning to get a jump on homework or go for a run). Maybe its the full moon, who knows. Keeping strong and going to move forward in the march against PMO. Thank you again Fellowship!
On Day 4. Facing some serious urges though. I've got a lot of work piled up so that's naturally a lot of stress for me. I think I'm gonna meditate and see if that might help. Otherwise I don't really know how to resist the temptation the whole time. In 2 days I rise in ranks, so there's that! I'll just stay focused on that for now.
Checking in for the day. Gone past day 4, now marching on 5. Following a strict bed time (10.00 PM). This really helps, since most of my PMO sessions happens in the nights. With proper sleep and fresh thoughts in the morning feeling better and better.
Day 3 complete! Today was weird. I have days where I seem to be on top of everything and it's all going super well, and days where nothing seems to be going right, things pile up, past failures return to haunt me, and little gets done. This was one of the latter days. A couple hours ago I got to a point of throwing everything aside in disgust because it wasn't working out. I need to stop being so hard on myself, because that kind of stress and anger balled up together creates a destructive playground for the urges. Urges to PMO were almost nonexistent today but I think I learned some valuable lessons related to them. Whether my day is going well or poorly, I'm still doing the same work directed at the same end, and both the work and the end are good. I must hold on to the tranquility and surety of the good days while admitting that sometimes there will be failures, and those failures may hurt quite a bit. The days which are going poorly will become far worse if I allow myself to stew in discontentment and anxiety.
Day 53. I have caught myself fantasizing a couple of times and need to be more diligent about this. I know that fantasizing will only escalate to fishing and then to PMO. Getting out of bed in the morning is the most important, along with staying busy.
You may find it helpful to share what triggered your relapse, how you are keeping yourself accountable each day etc - there have been many days I would have relapsed had I not been keeping track of how my journey was progressing!
Day 42 in progress! Worked on a school assignment the last couple of days and I finished it last night. Taking some rest this weekend, but keeping my head focused! Have a great weekend everyone!
Day 15! I've traded out my fangs and uruk-muscles for hairy feet and a penchant for pipes......I'm a HOBBIT now! My journey officially begins, and I join the Fellowship. @RiseToGreatness I'm on my way to Bree!
Day 5 OMG! I’m so close. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than to be an Uruk-Hai! In the past month I’ve gotten to day 5 twice and twice I’ve failed on that day. But not today. May Varda light my way.