Journey to quit masturbation and porn

Hi
I relapsed yesterday im gonna say what happend
I was in my room alone and too horny and i decided to face the urge but in an idiotic way
I closed the door pulled my pants off and started telling myself what in the hell i should do
After seconds i started rubbing my penis but i controlled myself and no orgasm happend
What i understood from this relapse was that i dont need orgasm anymore because i felt better after rubbing even though there was no orgasm
But i know even just rubbing my penis is wrong and i should do sth instead to face the urges
Im going to use music instead of porn and thoughts of sex from today im not in a good mood right now to tell it but i have two stories i exprienced from fallout 4 and im gonna share it tomorrow
P=21 M=1 O=21
Wish me luck
Day 21

 

Hi
Last was good nothing serious happend and i think i handled everythig pretty well
Promised two share those fallout 4 exprience i mentioned earlier so im gonna share one of them and leave one for tomorrow
I just finished a misson dont worry aint going to spoil it
At the end the guy offered half the share of the job and if your charisma level is 10 you you have an option to convince anyone to any level so i told him 50 50 isnt enough is so then he lowered his share to 60 40 and then i said 90 10 he tought i was joking and again and again lowered his share to 70 30 to get out of this with atleast some cash
Then i said u know what? I thinl i'll take the whole cash then he lowered his share 90 10 and said hes not going lower than that if i want his 10% i should kill him for it
I was just going to do that but suddenly my companion thought it was a good time to chat and he got away with 10%
I think it was very funny
I'll share it here if i encounter any problems
P=22 M=2 O=22
Wish me luck
Day 22

 

Hi
Last day was good too
It was a boring day but wasnt the worst
Nothing serious happend yesterday so im going to tell that other story on fallout 4 and its a bit shorter than last one
So my companian was using drugs too much and couldnt be cured by doctors
So she asked me to bring her to a vault i dont remember what number it was
And there we found a device that could remove all her deseases in seconds and i thought about a real device that could cure pmo just like that
Well its not going to happen and i dont have any intentions of giving up but i think it was woth mentioning
P=23 M=3 O=23
Wish me luck
Day 23

 

Hi
Passed a good day again
No urges no nothing
Handled myself pretty well
Attended an online meeting about nofap last night and i think it can seriously help
Talking with others that share the same problem with you can help and i think talking about these thoughts is the best way to express our feelings
P=24 M=4 O=24
Wish me luck
Day 24

 

Hi
So another good day
No serious urges
Played video games alot
Played fortnite, the last of us part 2 and fallout 4 for a total of i think 3-4 hours
Today im gonna watch vertigo
And one thing i realised yesterday is that i have to start doing sth productive and use the time and energy i have to actually do sth i mean not just passing the days
P=25 M=5 O=25
Wish me luck
Day 25

 

Hi
Spent another good day
Watched vertigo
Played some videogames
Attended the nofap meeting
Ate cheeseburger
Didnt exercise too much
But totally, it was a good
Except the bad dream last night that i dreamt about masturbating with Shakira
Im just going to forget it
P=26 M=6 O=26
Wish me luck
Day 26

 

Hi guys relapsed again and im gonna share the whole story
Felt too horny yesterday and had 3 serious encounters
1.was playing fallout 4 and felt too horny so i stopped playing and closed the door hopped on the bed pulled my pants off convinced myself not to do it without touching my penis
2.was on my chair in my bedroom
Felt too damn horny and took a look at my penis and started rubbing
I stopped before orgasm
Went to the bathroom and thought about it and i was ashamed
3.Went to the bathroom a few hours later and started rubbing my penis while singing a song from a music video i used to jerk off to
I stopped before orgasm again

I think i forgot why im doing No PMO and started going through my posts and everything because i was fighting it for 26 days and i decided to take step by step from now and my current goal is No PMO for 1 week without any intention of losing and i think i can atleast do 1 week
P=27 M=1 O=27
Wish me luck
Day 27

 

Hi
Spent a good day
Didnt touch my dick or anything like that
Had urges when i woke up but got better during the day
Played fortnite around an hour
Played witcher 3
Read 30 pages of The judgment and i think i'll finish it in a few days and start reading A Song of Ice and Fire
Bought A Game of Thrones few years back but i wasnt much of reader back then
P=28 M=2 O=28
Wish me luck
Day 28

 

Hi
I screwed up real bad yesterday thats why I didnt post
I was on my bed around 8A.M
Wasnt doing anything just lying on bed then thoughts of porn overwhelmed me and I MOed.
Again after 2 hours or so I went to bad and started thinking again and MOed for the second time
Well I now know that even if im on day 290 and im lying on bed like a moron with no intention of doing anyting and no intention of sleep this will happen
Now I gotta use every second I got doing sth not lying sth sitting sth thinking about masturbation and porn cause thats what beat me this time
Atleast there was no porn so im glad
But I dont want this to happen again so as I said im going to use every second ive got to actually do sth to lessen the thoughts this way
P=30 M=1 O=1
Wish me luck
Day 30

 

Hi
Spent a good day
My new rule helped me get over thoughts and i think it will help me the rest of life and i just need the courage to do it
Started reading a book named "Make ur bed" last day
Its really short so im gonna finish it today and start reading A Game of Thrones
It really feels good to be on No PMO and i belive its the only way that I'll be truly happy so im not going to give up until im making my every second count
P=31 M=2 O=2
Wish me luck
Day 31

 

Hi
Spent another good day
Had a serious urge but stopped it
Finished the book I was reading I mentioned yesterday
Started reading A Game of Thrones
I think i can do this"make every second count"rule that i made for myself and i think its going to be a huge help in my process
Played Witcher 3 for around 2 hours or so
Dont think there is anything else worth mentioning
P=32 M=3 O=3
Wish me luck
Day 32

 

Hi
Didnt post anything these days because i fuc*ed up too much
PMOed around 10 times these past three days
And i just wanna quit this shit for God this time its my only reason
Even with all the pain i dont think i would truly understand the damages of porn and masturbation and this damn cycle would continue for my whole damn life and i just dont want
Even if porn and masturbation are the greatest things in life i dont want them no more
I just dont want to sin anymore and be in this goddamn cycle so im going to fight harder this time and get rid of these sicknesses
Wish me luck
Day 1

 

Hi
Spent a good day
No porn
No masturbation
So thank god for this and everything else
Wish me luck
Day 2

 

Hi
Spent another good day
No porn
No masturbation
So thank god for this and everything else
Wish me luck
Day 3

 

Hi
Spent another good day
No porn
No masturbation
Wasnt home last day so i couldnt do much but overall it was good
I thank god for this and everything else
Day 4

 

Hi
spent another good day
No porn
No masturbation
Im currently at our village
Havent got much things to do
Im reading A Game of Thrones
Saw a movie last night
Nothing else i would like to mention
I thank god for everything im given
Day 5

 

Hi
Spent another good day
No porn
No masturbation
Saw a movie named 7.5(its an iranian movie)
It was complete bullshit
It was so bad that i laughed at most of the scenes that were supposed to be tragic
Nothing else to mention
I thank god for everything i have
Day 6

 

Hi
Spent another good day
No porn
No masturbation
I thank god because i couldnt achieve this without his help
Im back home so now i think i have more things to do
Nothing else to mention
Day 7