I feel like i want to cry, but i can't!!!!

That's normal, if you watch porn regularly. You've accurately described it. You feel you're sad in the chest but the emotions don't just rise up to your head, your facial expressions are always dull no matter how you feel and you can't cry. The theory says that when you watch porn and get that dopamine rush and your heart rate goes above 9000, you start to lose your emotions (aka desensitization). So you're just getting a few minutes of super excitement and numbing yourself for a long time.

 

I can completely relate. I'm completely numb.

 

You are getting close! The feelings and emotions will come the more you self discover.

 

is this just from porn alone or PMO?

 

Just watching porn is enough.
PMO makes things much worse.

 

I've been there, and felt exactly like that. Couldn't feel any emotions, couldn't laugh, couldn't cry despite of feeling depressed. JUST KEEP FIGHTING. I know that some years ago I couldn't even reach one week normally, when I hit two weeks it was like a super big win. Over the years the streaks got longer, 30 days, 40 days. This was the time where I got to laugh again sometimes, even when I was at other moments still often feeling depressed. Now I'm at my highest streak ever with 68 days now. I'm seeing the benefits very slowly but constantly coming in. Forgetting time in a rather good conversation there, being productive there, doing a nice thing to my parents there (it's like something pushes me to do good things - normally I have like a super lazy nature), having a moment where I feel masculine there. The list goes on.

When you rise up again every time that you fall, you will become better and better over time and hopefully finally succeed. Remember, if you rise up again only one more time than you fall, you will win. I told myself: as the baddest person as I am on the planet, as depressed as I am feeling, at least I will fight.