Relapsed AGAIN

It's not a will power thing. We can't be conscious and in control all the time. So you need to heal and realign yourself so your auto pilot mode doesn't keep hurting you. In truth the part of you that takes over and makes you fail is not trying to hurt you but to help you. There is a physical aspect to this addiction which is really not a big deal, a mental aspect which distorts the shit out of the physical aspect (making you believe a little discomfort is unbearable), and an emotional aspect (which is prob some pain, feeling unfulfilled or low self esteem or hopelessness at some deep, likely mostly unconscious level, that you don't know how to deal with, and that somehow you are unconsciously convinced will get better, even if only for a moment, with sex)

So you need to get to the root of this and deconstruct this shit. The truth really will set you free it is a process of self discovery.

 

Hey,
When you feel the pain, discomfort and NEED to PMO, embrace that pain as evidense that your body is hurt. You can eventually find pleasure in starving your cravings.

Learn to stop sexual thoughts as soon as they start.

Id like to add that time flys. 20 yrs is very young. I had a very bad PMO problem at 20. I am now coming up on 30 and am finally getting it under control, it will not go away on its own. Where will you be at 30? And how much more of your time are you willing to waste on PMO?

 

This right here, is my hardest struggle and biggest need to success. Just today I nearly had a relapse because of my still developing ability to stop them. Thank you for sharing and saying what needs to be said!

 

This is a proces. You're a learning yourself how to deal with it forever. You find your weakspots and deal with them. It is possible you relapse and after that learn from that. As long as you're moving in the right direction it is al part of the proces.

 

Hi guys getting pissed off at relapsing. Im 28 and my sex life non existent. Im shy around women I like but I have to admit NoFap increases confidence. My problem is im into scat porn now as regular porn does not do it for me now. Id just like know can I block adult sites on my phone with passwords or sumit.

 

Try to read and learn about relapses from a neurochemical point of view. It is very useful, you will discover that the relapse itself is not the moment in what you look at porn, in fact, they begin to appear days before the act itself. If you learn to identify the process and the warn signals you will earn a lot of control about it.
You could take a look to drug and alcohol recovery addiction websites, the mental processes are quite the same! Porn is different, but it works like a drug in your brain.
And don't forget to plan ahead, don't improvise! You need a plan to defeat this enemy.

 

And don't worry too much! I have relapsed dozens of times, too. Just learn from your falls and start walking again. The real defeat is to give up.

 

exactly, when i relapsed at 60 days i was considering suicide. To shit away 2 months was fucking depressing as hell. Ive almost been murdered twice and i consider relapsing to be a worst feeling than almost being killed. I have to go one here often for support, and i think talking to ppl on here helps all of us.

 

in my case, the relapsing always happens because of getting careless. like it doesn't feel all that bad all of a sudden. i've read once that dopamine does that: it decreases judgment and increases motivation. my sense is that i will only be able to crack this thing if i don't let myself slip below that threshhold where i become, as it were, that other person...

 

You are right, there is a kind of neurochemical point of no return. If you pass this point there is nothing to do, you are going to relapse, willpower is useless in that moments because your rational mind is absolutely overwhelmed. You can't think straight.
The key is to learn to identify the process that leads to relapse and acts BEFORE you cross this threshold, if you wait too much you can't stop the process and you are going to act even against your will.

If you read a little about drug addictions or conductual addictions (gambling) you will discover that this kind of process is very common.

 

I can't explain it better! Your description is perfect.

 

@Looking Forward: i came upon this research through the drug analogy (i've got it from marnia robinson).
where do you get the nomer 'conductual addiction' from and what set is it the umbrella term for? i've never heard the term and casually googling didn't help me find anything...

 

^^^^^^^So much of this!^^^^^^^^^^^

Try to do a little better than before. Fail. Repeat as necessary.