Day 6 complete! We march from Isengard under the banner of the White Hand! @RiseToGreatness I have not read "The Adventures of Tom Bombadil." Someday I'd love to dive into Tolkien's lesser-known works, though. Not much to report. I spent about 4 hours round-trip driving to another city this morning to pick up supplies for a service project, got a tiny bit of work done in the afternoon, and then went to my church for an evening service and cooking a pancake "breakfast" for dinner. I was too tired on Friday to go running, but I made up for it a couple hours ago with 7 miles on the treadmill. It was too cold and dark to run outside, even though that's what I prefer to do 98% of the time.
Day 6 I'm an Uruk-Hai again! Feels great to be back to this important first milestone, but I need to avoid becoming complacent while my day-count is still relatively low. Woke up this morning with a strong urge to edge, but I'm committed to completing my reboot on hard mode - it's all about discipline! By day's end I'll have abstained from PMO for a full week, the longest I've managed in just over a month. Onwards to The Shire!
It’s has been a couple of days since I’ve posted, I even made it to Uruk-Hai again, But now I’m back to zero. I’m kind of sad, but it’s a good kind of sad. I’ve been writing in this thread for almost five month now. And in that time I’ve gotten to the Uruk-Hai level four of five times, and once I’ve even made it 12 days. It’s true that I’m really bumped out about never making it two weeks PMO free, but just that fact that the ratio of my clean days is more than 3:1 to days I’ve failed is still amazing progress for me. Lest week I’ve finished my internship in a tech company and now I’m on my own, trying to study and get a job as a developer. I’ve been unemployed for more than a year and a half now, and that is just so much pressure that I feel like just keeping my head straight and keep on practicing takes all of my energy. Beside that unfortunately my girlfriend has been in somewhat of a depression for the past couple of months and it looks like it’s going to get much worse before it’s going. With all that being said, I still know that only by quitting porn I could actually be free, and the fact that I relapse in order to “relieve strass” is only making things worse. But shit. This is hard.
13 days. Lots of temptations. Feeling really ashamed of something I did yesterday. Shame and pmo go hand in hand. When the feelings of inadequacy go away it should be better. Just gotta to get through this. I am tired too. 11 days worked. 2 and a half to go before days off. I want to experience the benefits when rested. Just a couple more days.
Day 234. Does anyone have a planned timeline of progress? Or a specific length of time to "allow" growth in order be completely free of this addiction? I am just wondering.
Checking in brave Fellowship!! Good morning today as i went to the beach with my mother, just hanging out in the seafront enjoying a snack. Walked by dozens of females in the street, felt just a bit of social anxiety so i´m getting better . At the afternoon i will follow my plan, switching between productivity ativities and leisure time Onward to the Fellowship. Saruman is having a party today @Gallade_Templar @BrotherHal - Uruk-Hai A special wave of support to our brothers in need @bob200 and @DudeAlex . Courage my brothers, refine your plan and carry on. You can do it!! Have a great day mighty Fellowship!!! . Here´s a bit of sunday humour
Hello everyone, im back after a super long absence (mustve been 6 months or more) on a new account since I managed to lose my old one's password i've since fallen back into the clutches of the proverbial PMO ring and I'm back here because im noticing my frequency of use increasing and I'm also re-escalating to the same material I fought so hard to rid myself of on my first stay here, but I think I have a new and healthier perspective on PMO this time round. I think I can live a perfectly fine life even using porn every day (as I basically have been these past few weeks), but my best self is definitely one that doesnt use PMO. It's not a matter of life and death like I used to frame it, but it *is* a matter of life and much better life! I hope everyone's doing well and I hope you're able to work your way back up to the three digit streak you had when I stopped posting here @RiseToGreatness ! I'll add the challenge to my signature as soon as the site lets me do that again.
Day 11 - The weekend has kind of sucked but I am finally catching up on work and I hope to get up at 5am tomorrow to call my friend and then take a cold shower. Additionally, I have not cooked myself eggs in over a week, and I am ready to do that again. Right now I am on call for work and I am going to do some homework and then go to bed about 9pm. That should give me about 8 hours of sleep which is just the right amount. I can actually survive on 6.5-7 hours of sleep, and when I get that much sleep, I am tired right away, but then this wave of energy kicks in that fuels the rest of my day. If I can get that much sleep every night (which I have not managed yet because I am easily unmotivated) then I think my life would be so much more successful. Best, Mathman1994
Day 131. Had a nice day with friends and helped them move into their new house. The days seem to be flying by now that the weather is warmer.
Day 132. Had a terrible argument with my brother today. It definitely stresses me out when things like this happen and I am able to notice myself looking for an outlet. The need for an outlet has decreased substantially since starting this reset and my ability to sit with my emotions and process them improved drastically. Although difficult days are draining and I do not wish for them, I learn and grow the most from them. Valleys are simply part of the journey. I thought that this would be a good post to reshare one of my favorite visuals.
A couple of days ago I said something about a deadly curiosity, I must say that this faustian impulse of mine lead me to relapse. Back to the caves of Mordor...