I'm about to relapse again

nzz84ynbxn · Apr 17, 2021

I'm on an 11 day streak. I feel I'm about to slip up again, but this time, I'm catching myself rationalizing why I don't really need nofap. Can someone talk me out of these rationalizations below?

As someone who gets hard at the thought of just kissing, who seldomly watches porn, I'm asking myself "what's the point"?.

Another rationalization: I've already done 11 days of nofap so it's definitely an improvement over MO' ing every second day.

I started nofap not because I was addicted to porn, but because I noticed I wasn't being aroused by some earlier fantasies I used to be aroused by. And I want to be able to feel the same excitement as I felt in my early teens. I also failed to get hard with a woman two years ago, but I can't tell if it was because I was not attracted to her naked. I also want to be able to be turned on by any body type- not just the ideal one.

I want to make sure I will achieve my desired goals? Does anyone else have the same purpose as me? Because I can't relate to those who believe masturbation or fetishes are inherently bad, so their advice won't motivate me. Before nofap, I've never felt crummy after masturbating to fantasy. In fact, I've felt satisfied.

Munchausen_Faltered · Apr 17, 2021

Just a little bit of effort. You have got this.
If not now then it will be very late if you keep giving up.

penitent · Apr 19, 2021

So your goals are:
1. to be aroused by earlier fantasies that used to arouse you
2. to feel the same excitement about sex you felt in your early teens
3. To not have a repeat incident like the one two years ago

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I'm a bit concerned about having a goals like #1 and #2 since our sexual nature changes as we age. It's not just chemical (although I think it is typical for males to become less... energetic once we get past our teens and early 20s), experiences shape us as well. The women that were attractive to me as a teen aren't necessarily what I like now.

I think it's worth thinking about why you failed to get hard back then. Was something going on in your life at the time? Were your PMO habits different from what they are now?

It's probably extremely difficult to get yourself to a place where you'll be aroused by every body type... but if you mean you're just trying to get to a point where an "average" naked woman gets you hard... that's an admirable goal.

I also don't believe masturbation and fetishes are inherently bad. What I would look at, specifically, is how they might be affecting your intimacy. Here's my experience (I'm not a doctor/scientist/anything like that): Some masturbation habits, especially those that involve porn, can give you ED. The frequency of those habits matters. But that's also not the only thing that can cause ED for a healthy young adult male... psychological issues can take a heavy toll. If you think that's where you are, you might want to consider seeing a therapist.

You say you're into fetishes. That's all well and good, but given your goals, you should consider whether those fetishes prevent you from being aroused by things outside of that fetish. If you really like 1 or 2 specific things, and nothing else gets you off, and your sex partner isn't willing or able to do those things, you're in a tough situation. It doesn't sound like that's what's going on, since you say you get hard at the thought of kissing, but I thought I'd mention it.

Anyway, best of luck!

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I'm about to relapse again

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