Day 15 - Hobbit @RiseToGreatness I am ready to begin my journey to Mount Doom. Out of Isengard and ready to leave the Shire! Best, Mathman1994
I realized that. I decided to continue on though I realize that I have a problem with unknowingly edging. I usually stop myself before I am close to climax, (when I realize what I am doing), and usually it crosses to masturbation when I decide I am so close that I am going to climax. In this case, I was not doing that. Earlier in the day, and even in the hour, I caught myself edging, and when I orgasmed, I don't think I was doing that, but I was wound up and sensitive. It definitely cannot happen again though. The good news is I have not edged since Monday and now it is Thursday.
Day 135. Had a solid day. Feeling very positive. Urges have subsided from the stress I experienced earlier today and this week. Looking ahead.
On Day 0 two days in a row now. Whatever encouragement y'all have got, I'm all ears. I haven't been taking as many cold showers lately--that's one concrete step I can take towards getting back in a disciplined mindset of recovery.
Daily checking. Stay strong, bro! This is only a bad moment, a counteroffensive of PMO. Try not to be alone and to do things that require concentration, avoid the internet and pray. Don´t let any space in your mind to this addiction. St. George, pray for us!
It' worth it bro. Don't forget that the price we pay today is nothing compared to the suffering we might suffer tomorow, so stand up and restart your counting. You'll not be defeated as long as you keep fighting! And don't forget that, even though this relapses made us feel utterly trash, the less we have them, the closer we are to getting free! You are now closer from it then when you began, so don't give up! "Fail seven times. Stand up eight!"
One day completed, on the road to get back on track but once again need to practice controlling fantasy, I think excessive fantasy is what lead me to use again last time - fantasizing about healthy sex is fine in theory (at least it would be for me), but the end point in practice is more extreme, fetishized fantasies that make it easier and easier to seek out the real thing.
I think I said I was on day 5 yesterday; if I did, I was wrong. Today is day 4. It is time for me to review my Action Plan this morning. I need to do so every morning first thing. I started earlier, but now I need to finish it for the day.
The fantasy is not a good ally in opinion, i can say by experience, is just a Gollum leading to one to a trap. Be careful with him.
You are a most humble individual! Your advice is worldly. Your new personal counter is truly a great step to recovery. Wish you the best!