Hi everyone, How do you abstain from giving in to urges when you are in bed, either evening or morning? I notice that during the day, it's doable. Lots of activities to keep your mind distracted. However, when entering your bed, you are alone with your thoughts, and those thoughts wander to lust. I already keep my phone away, so that's not an issue, but would like to know if people have other tips . Thanks in advance.
Get out of bed early in the morning. When the alarm goes just get out of bed without thinking about it. Then make sure you are tired when you go to bed at night. Do exercises and have a busy day plus getting up early should have you sleepy when it's time to hit the hay again at night.
Unfortunately, and this may sound a bit harsh, but there are going to be a lot of times where it just boils down to one question: Do you want sexual sobriety bad enough? There are always going to be temptations you can't get away from, and imagination is probably number one for most of us. So I highly suggest you get as much accountability as you can so that when those temptations arise, you'll at least know that you're going to have to tell someone of some people about your slip. But its still going to wind up being you making the decision to either give in to your lust or fight the battle using the tools & resources available to you and beat this thing.... its up to you. I wish you the very best of luck, my friend!
Thanks for the tips. I also write in my journal and/or read while in bed. This makes me tired before bed, but I can never fall asleep within an hour, even after that. That time is dangerous. But I agree, I won't choose to slip up, focus on grattitude and go to sleep with that in mind.
My suggestion may be a bit unorthodox, but I actually let the urge "wash over me". Instead of distracting myself or trying to ignore it, I "feel" it and try to deconstruct how it's effecting me both mentally and physically. I'm not going to say it's an easy thing too endure, it can be quite difficult. But it's worked for me, and it helps me control urges in the future. And, like you, I get some pretty significant urges when I go to bed.
What do you write and read with? I use nothing more than a black and white e-reader in bed with the backlight on the low side. A normal tablet would have a different screen technology with more light and the blue makes a difference. Another option might be audiobook. There are many factors and we don't know enough about your routine so it'll end up being like a laundry list, but basically you need good sleep hygiene, when you eat also impacts that, so it is not only about that time but well, when that time is and being consistent with it all. Aside from that some people just has a harder time falling asleep than others, maybe you're a light sleeper. Also, in terms of the content what do you read about, and what do you write? (at least lately) At least in the beginning it would be a good idea to read something about recovery or inspirational even if it isn't directly about rebooting, and choosing something high quality that makes an impression so that you are kind of compelled to think about it. This can work for you not only when you fall asleep but there's some trace of it even when you wake up so it would help with morning wood too.
@Vorlon That's an interesting idea. I've heard about it before, and did try it during the day. But never while in bed, as I thought that being tired would make it more diffucult to consciously let it wash over you. But can imagine that it leads to greater self control if you are able to do that. So I will try it as well. Thanks
@OrganizeInformed This is my schedule for a week now I go to bed an hour before I want to sleep (mostly 10PM), as to not strain my eyes with a screen. Also put my mobile phone away. I read in an ebook, currently reading some warhammer 40K (Night Lords omnibus). What is more inspiring than Space Marines haha. I often write about things I'm overthinking in a story, then end the story on a positive note. Something to appreciate about the day, or that, already knowing what didn't go well, will lead me to overcoming that in the future. That's my schedule right now. I already notice that sticking to this, even if I don't sleep well. I still wake up more energized. Think it's due to the consistency. Or perhaps I get energy FOR THE EMPEROR! (Sorry for the lame 40k jokes)
I remember few months ago when going to sleep, once I closed my eyes - I was seeing my favorite scenes from P. movies. Now I don't see such things. It really is extremely difficult to stop those thoughts, I still sometimes fight them - but its only a few seconds when they are gone, and that's what I suggest you, fight with those thoughts - see them as some bad virus, personify them, give them names. You need to fight them quick enough before sexual tension will be too high. Identify those thoughts with all the bad things that happened to you. There are things that can help, for me it was audiobooks before sleep.
