Relapsed yesterday and then binged today. I had a pretty long streak of around 100+ days and it seemed like I could be in the clear. I never prepared myself to deal with the urges and was caught off guard badly once the flatline ended. Immediately after I relapsed I basically went into a rage. Right now I am feeling almost euphoric which is a very bad sign in terms of my progress.
If you get back on track today then you will likely have only set yourself back partly, carry on relapsing though and you'll soon undo all of your progress.
The euphoric feeling is a good thing. As someone with a LOT of experience of relapsing after long streaks, I have noticed that jerking off once after binging after a long streak does not set me back significantly. Hell, sometimes even 2 or 3 times don't hurt me that much (which happens often, since getting into a binge rage is the natural "catch up" mechanic of our stupid brains). As soon as you feel "euphoric" you can still stop and keep some progress. It's INCREDIBLY hard to do, but you have to try. However, if you keep going, there will be *that* session (it may be the 3rd, the 4th or the 5h) that really pulls you into a black fucking hole. That's when you start feeling super bad about it, develop mild depression and actually find it easy to stop again. Unfortunately, reaching that stage of post binge clarity usually comes at the price of all your progress. So stop now while it's not too late.
Thanks man. Yeah I gotta get it together fast. I just was totally caught off guard by my libido coming back and was totally unprepared for any urges whatsoever just because I had been in flatline so long.
Take steps to reconnect with your reason for no PMO and activities that helped you early in your 100 days.
In a constant FLATLINE for 21 months. How did your FLATLINE end ? How does it feel ? Can you describe the sensation in words ?