Bondage/BDSM Fetish

I honestly don't know. You can still like some unusual stuff on noFap as far as it is not problem for you. If you feel comfortable with that desire - okay, if not - try to understand from where this desire comes from.

 

I posted this in another thread but no one commented. I imagine no one watched it.

But.... to answer the OP and taken from this video (I think it was this video) liking tying up girls isn't bad. It's the hiding away and the covert aspects of porn which is bad.

Having healthy relations with women where part of the dynamic if they enjoy it is a bit of bondage isn't a bad thing.

But of course it could lead you back to porn.

So a long as your interest in bondage is shared in a consensual way with women in a fun safe dynamic porn free then there is nothing wrong with it.



I had a foot fetish well before porn entered my life. I doubt it will every go away. But as long as I am not hiding away in my room compulsively fapping and watching extreme pornography and rather experiencing it at the right times consensually and openly with girls then there isn't anything wrong with it.

 

About the foot fetish..
I been read som intresting on website What do think?

https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/the-secret-behind-sexual-fetishes-r235/

 

I think it will die down. It has for me.

Used to be just seeing a woman's hands tied up or cuffed would get me going.

A couple days ago at work, one of my coworkers had some pictures up on their computer screen. One was a woman with her hands bound. It didn't effect me. My brain is definitely changing.

 

Good question. Like so many other things in life I say there are a lot of variables.

I can only speak for myself.

I only enjoyed bondage and BDSM when the woman was the one restrained. I never liked it when the man was in restraints and the woman was over him.

For me it's because I've had a negative attitude about women that goes back to childhood when my mother was an angry person that I hated. She did some nasty things to me and I hated her. It wasn't until 2003 that I started having conversations with her. After 2003 a few things happened, she changed, I changed and now we have a great relationship.

But my negative attitude about women persisted and I continued to watch bondage, BDSM, and rape porn. Finally quit the garbage and have been working on a better attitude towards women.

So am I saying that a bad relationship with your mother can lead to enjoying that stuff? I say yes. There are of course other things that can lead to a person watching it.

 

This is the best response I think anyone could've come back with! I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you so much!

 

It’s typically caused by intimacy issues stemming from the child-mother relationship.

Does it ever go away?

No.

 

I guess no one knows.. we have made all these concepts but life is full of mystery (life itself is a mystery?).. and there might be a lot variables at play.. i think its best to do a full reboot, and see how sexuality feels when the brain is not so over stimulated anymore..

 

What causes any fetish? You start developing your sexuality as a child, so if what you say is a fetish that is still around after quitting pornography, you would have to go back to childhood to see what kind of factors could've developed this paraphilia/fetish. And no, a fetish does not go away. BDSM is not unhealthy and not wrong if it's no more than play. Though if it is causing you psychological distress, you may have a disorder, and may want to see a professional.
Hope this helps.

 

I wonder what people think about my belief that fetishes can fad and we loose interest in them.

For me wanting to dominate and hurt women was due to my mom hurting me and I enjoyed the fantasy of turning the tables on women. Since leaving porn and having a good relationship with mom now the desire is indeed fading. I have no desire to engage in bondage/BDSM if I ever find a girlfriend.

 

This reminds me of something interesting I realised. I have no desire in BDSM when it comes to engaging with someone I'm in love with. But if it's a casual thing with someone I'm not in love with, then this fetish is the only thing I want to engage in. Anyone else like this?

 

nope, but glad you had to deal with that in the past, all of us have issues to deal with at the present time, lol.

 

This isn't a past thing, this is a present thing...

 

oh ok gotcha. Sorry I was just a bit confused, that's all.

 

Of course, it will pass, but with time. For example, I used to look only at the incest tab in porn, I watched for a very long time how guys molest girls (when it comes to sex), and this is normal. I don't wanna watch any particular genre right now. But more often, I just watch girls jerking off to each other, maybe something from the category of lesbians. I'd really like to try WMW, like in porn. Perhaps you should try smth new but in the style of BDSM? I had that experience and wasn't excited about it because the props were just low quality. They didn't buy me the materials I expected. And after that, I buy toys myself, and I have a proven service https://lovermart.com/product-category/bondage/, where I shop quite often. I had more feelings during this process and couldn't concentrate, so I didn't really like it. Now everything is fine, but for now, I don't wanna give up BDSM. For me, this is a kind of entertainment.

 

ive had a fetish for big women since i was a kid and this was before i started watching porn so no i dont think it will go away

 

Heal your old wounds/ traumas and it will be a thing from the past.
It is a huge indicator of an unhealthy self-esteem.

 

It's hard to say. Seems to be a part of you, especially now that you've gone this long without porn. Could be one of those things where you will always be into it but vanilla stuff works for you too now. Is that the case? Also, do you have a problem with bondage?