This Issue Needs Addressing

You need to read up on sexual transmutation. This is where you direct your sexual energy into other things. Realise that sexual energy is just as it says. An energy. It's a powerful energy that needs to be channelled into other areas of your life. The Eastern world and the Taoists know a lot about this, which unfortunately most of the Western world does not. You can allow that sexual energy to transmute into the brain and become more self aware and intelligent. They call this semen retention. Conserving the semen is also good for your health and organs as well as many other things.

I am currently reading a book called "Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy" by Mantak Chia.

I'm going to have to be honest with you. All of the things you've described here shows that you have a porn induced way of thinking towards women. I suggest that you jump on the reboot bandwagon immediately. At the end of the day, women are not sex objects. This is what we at the nofap community understand and realise. Many on this site describe the same symptoms about themselves. It's nothing new. What you have described is honestly just basic addiction to women and sex. Porn does this to our brain. Porn causes us to see women in only sexual ways. We were not born like this. We were born pristine, but by the time we are teenagers, we have absorbed so much mud into our souls. Porn really is poison, man. This is just the reality of it.

What you have described is far from "normal male reaction". This is porn addiction, but the good thing, is that you are in the right place. All you need to do is begin rebooting and you'll be good as new. It's honestly that simple.

Abstain from PMO = Become a brand new man.

 

To me, you sound like a perfectly normal, healthy 27 year old. Its always a good idea to remove porn from your life. If I were you, I would try to limit my fapping sessions to once or twice a week. Beware though, Nofap does gradually cause guys to start to lose interest in sex...and women in general. Not exactly helpful if your single wanting a relationship.

 

You need to get in touch with your inner IDGAF.

What you want is smooth relationships with women without being overly attached to them or being too afraid of what they think. Or --- self-respect. Confidence.

Not GAF will get you what you're looking for. Cutting the porn is obvious, that's the foundation.

I recommend you look up PUA materials, but take them with a grain of salt.

The root of all of it is essentially this: women love a man that's strong, that they can respect, that doesn't cave when she challenges him, that isn't abusive.

Ultimately when we get mixed signals from women, they are really talking about a blend of qualities for their "perfect man".

Nice, but assertive. Doesn't take shit, but isn't an asshole. Capiche?

I must admit, I didn't understand female nature until researching it for a LONG time.

I wouldn't be too worried about respect. As long as you're admired by the women in your life, you have their respect. That's definitely something you're over analyzing about. Self-control man, just pay attention to what you say.

 

That's up to you. If you feel it's unhealthy, then for you, it probably is. My personal belief is that the Taoists are right. The best balance for a man in his twenties is once every 4 days or so, if he wants to keep his strength, thirties once a week, etc, etc.

It depends on how much it's interfering with your life to make that determination.

 

Some weeks my wife and I will have sex 5-6 times a week... We've been married for 12 years... It's all about what is best for both you and your partner. Making sure both of your needs are met and that neither are uncomfortable in the relationship... Talk with her. Are you going to be monogomus with her? Does she know that? If you told her you looked at porn would she be glad you did and would it be healthy for your relationship? For me personally porn I feel should not be looked at by anyone period... That's a 15+ year porn addict talking to ya... As far as masturbation you need to ask yourself is it contributing to a healthy relationship? Or your own personal mental health... For me masturbation is out of the question right now because it makes me think of porn that I have watched every time. I'm still very sexually active with my wife. Someday I would like to think I will be able to masturbate without my mind wanting to crave porn but honestly I don't think it will ever happen...

 

NoFap has caused some guys to lose interest in sex temporarily... I have yet to see someone who flatlined after doing a 90 day reboot, that stayed flatlined. Maybe it is the reverse "reviews" type of mentality, people who get bad results just say screw it and are gone where the good ones stay to tell their tale, I don't know.

I am right there with you. I had previous before NoFap gotten to 50 or 60 days, then fapped thinking I was fine and porn wasn't a issue. With in 1 week, I was proven wrong.

 

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After my reboot, my sex drive lowered significently. But, in all fairness, that was the idea. Before, I fapped everyday, sometimes, multiple times. Lately, its been steady at once every 7-10 days. Im not flatlined, just disinterested.

That sounds about right to me. Could you provide a link. Im curious about frrquency in 40s and beyond.

 

Fair enough. But yes I agree with you, it was the idea. To make our sex drive more controllable. Sorry for the confusion.