Improving Willpower

Belly Breathing exercises like pranayama, or the G breath, put you in a frequency of deep relaxation.
Anther thing is to light a white candle on a table and sit down like 5 foot away from it, but, make sure to keep your focus on the top of the flame, even when it flickers and hold your attention on it for 3 rounds of 10 minutes+

Another things is Body weight exercises( Calisthenics), do highreops of basic movement and focus on not giving up.

Wish you all the best bro

 

Is it possible to meditate on other sounds?

 

I listen to motivational speeches, music, and focus on what needs to be done and why. I also try to be conscious of what choices I take. It all began with analyzing own thoughts.

 

had tinnitus years and i started by using masking apps on my phone, sounds of river flowing and birds etc

Now i don't even notice the sounds, they are just there, not noticed them today until i read your post. and it was like " oh yea"

The brain adapts, you pay them attention they will get louder and louder, Ignore them and they even get quieter,

excepting you have tinnitus and then just not thinking about it helps.

Oh and check your neck for stress, muscle knots etc when i sorted my neck the sounds volume went right down.

 

Consider that will power is like a muscle. We strengthen muscles by weight training (resistance) - putting resistance on the muscles to make them stronger. So, too, as far as we fight any vices in our life (by better diet, controlling temper, exercise, meditation practice, custody of the eyes and imagination, not slacking off at work or chores, punctuality, allotting proper time to sleep, charity, helping others, etc.), we strengthen will power overall. If you can put up with displeasure or enduring discomfort in any area of living, then it has application in all areas. Often the strategy of the "cold shower" even is not simply to dampen and cool off an aroused and enflamed male libido, but also to learn to deal with general discomfort over time and teach the mind that it can succeed (look up on YouTube, for instance, the 31-day or 30-day cold shower challenge). Cold showers in themselves are not required - any discipline that teaches one to endure discomfort may substitute. Eliminating any personal vice by pursuit of its opposite virtue will teach this, too.

Yet, because the will power is like a muscle, like any muscle (however strong) that is resisted with weights, it may reach its ultimate burn and failing point when it just cannot hold a weight for another moment without rest. Many guys with PMO addiction are familiar with such failure when they are driven to the point of complete will power burnout and relapse, again and again, into PMO because they can no longer resist the suffering for one more moment. Sound familiar?

The problem is not the withdrawal "pain" per se (which we may not be able to always control, though there are strategies to alleviate pain and not incite much of it to begin with), but the greater problem is the suffering (which we can control to a great degree with our mindset and attitude). Suffering is the weight that ultimately burns out will power. If we learn not to enhance and enflame suffering and not let it run amuck to the point of burn out, then we give our will power periods of rest, which is also needed for muscle regeneration and strengthening.

BELOW are two videos the will help in these areas: the first outlines how to rewire desire by accepting pain and discomfort - the cold shower analogy - which teaches the mind that accessing its PMO "desire" files no longer leads to a pleasure reward, but discomfort. Hence, the brain will refile these and access them less and less as time goes on, since there's no reward in it. The second video makes the important distinction between pain and suffering (they are not the same). Our attitude of mind in recovery can eliminate suffering enough so as not to exhaust and burn out will power. Overall, we deemphasize will power even (a perceived fight that increases suffering) and emphasize, instead, acceptance, detached observation, letting be, and letting go.

Best wishes on your journey. Keep up the good fight.

BTW - In your comment that you cannot meditate because of "buzzing" interference, the "buzzing" itself does not cause failure in meditation - but the "buzzing" (like any distraction) may be the very "welcomed guest" to help you achieve your very purpose in meditating (discipline training/will power strengthening/mind-attitude reprograming toward discomfort). When sitting still and breathing, if buzzing or distractions interfere (that's good), just "note it" - yes I acknowledge it and so what, let it be/let it go, and continue breathing or using whatever practice you use. The discipline and strengthening of mediation is the "noting" of distractions and letting them be and exist and move on (separate and apart from ourselves, as if we're watching something on the outside of our inner self). We don't become alarmed or agitated or fearful or angry (we see the pain/annoyance and don't suffer it)- just note it, say "so what," let it be, let it go, and go back to your meditation focus, whether that be the breath, a verbal mantra (religious or nonreligious), a visual object, etc. If you can only do this for 5 or 10 minutes a day - then start there. Over time, you may increase the meditation time when you're more practiced and accustomed to it.

Hope that helps.

 

Well said joeinMD... I've never considered the difference between pain and suffering. But only after you seperate the two, can you really work at a stronger will!

 

I'm practising with setting an alarm to go off every hour. When it goes off it gives you a chance to think about what you should be doing and if the last hour was productive or not. Being aware of the time passing with a moment of pause every hour can help you to refocus on what you feel you should be doing.