Urge is strong But I want more from life...

For all of you who are new here, like myself, I wanted to pass on some "motivation", maybe catching someone in the same spot I am in, "right now".

In short, I have been on this site for 2 weeks, free of PMO because I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Do not want others to know "the life I had" used to cure my pains, and lose the respect, "you can't get back" if those who you care about, find out about "our dirty secret".

Well today has been the roughest day yet, and I survived it. And so will you.

I am still healhty, I am still able to speak, watch tv, work, work out, had more time for an old van I am trying to restore, etc....
.......... AND THIS URGE HASN'T KILLED ME YET. HASN'T TAKEN MY PRIDE, MY DIGINITY, HASN'T CAUSED MY LOVED ONES TO QUESTION MY CHARACTER, Hasn't stopped me from watching football, eating pizza, ETC !!!!!

In other words, having the urge isn't a death sentence, you will not die from not PMO'ing, etc.. "It to (the urge) shall pass " (in a few minutes, roughly 15 minutes or so) and then I will be able to enjoy the first day of college football, feeling good about myself, postive, strong, etc...

We all have the urge members, I tell you about mine so as to let you know, you are not alone. You can ignore it, and continue to be the best you can.

 

Joe, whatever gets you strong and through this mess, then it is all good. Kamado, amen to your comments, especially "being my own worst enemy". I wish you both happiness and success. This is NOT a game, but a game Changer (this site). I still stress that you have to be "sick and tired" of being "sick and tired" before you really change. I know this is what really works for me and that for many, this is a game changer.

Think and feel, deep inside your gut, as if what I am about to say, is Really happeining to you and your life. What if that someone you love, really love, respect, etc.. just found out about all we go through, ie.. PMO.

How would they really feel about you, knowing this about you? .......How would YOU Really feel, knowing that they, now know (for ALL eternity) about you and this PMO you engage in? .......Would they ever truely love, trust, respect you, ever again?? ........Or with this one "caught you", did you just ruin everything in your life, you worked hard for?? .......And was PMO worth you dignity, integrity, the love your your family, your kids, your neices, nephews, brothers, sisters, your community, etc.. I HOPE LIKE ME, YOU CAN HONESTLY SAY (WITH DEEP INTERNAL EMOTION) HECK NO!!!

Are you willing to push the envelope and take a chance on them, NOT finding out about this pmo mess, OR does this cause you so much internal pain, (ie.. sick and tired, nauseas, internal anxiety, not wanting to show your face to those you love because of how dirty you feel, etc).. that your NOT willing to lose the love and respect from that person (those people most likely) that care about you?

I have been on these sites for years, attempting to beat this disgusting habit, that in any other time from or place, I would not support in the least. But my self esteem issues, etc.. lead me places i wouldn't ever go or want to be at. So I take this opportunity, VERY SERIOUS THIS TIME, and hope you both do the same. Change is never easy, but losing loved ones, thier respect,etc.. is and would be even harder.

May I add, something I remember from a kid: "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." The Devil, the Urge, The PMO, etc.. Just like the boxing scenario I reference above: Resist him, ignore him, turn your back on him, walk away from him, don't give him any recognition, etc.. and soon, it/ the urge, will flee.